Chronos the Wonder Pig
1. Bernice's lemonade business actually boomed during the Gulf Coast cleanup.
2. Country Tyme's marketing has gotten decidedly aggressive.
3. Andrew Sullivan tried to compete with a similarly-inspired "hand-soap dispenser" but found few takers.
4. "No, I'm not a metaphor for the welfare state; I haven't been sucked dry yet."
5. Worst case of post-partum depression EVAH!
Best of Vinney
The man's a genius. Where does Ron Popeil come up with these ideas?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
When Shelly told hubby Ted she'd volunteered to bring 2 jugs of lemonade to the tailgate party, he nodded absentmindedly and said, "Sounds fine." Ted's stopped reading the paper at breakfast.
Best of mega
Democrats ban bottled water. Unintended but acceptable consequences.
Best of Jack Reacher
Janice tells people her son was breast-fed. She doesn't tell them that he still is, 23 years later.
Best of Dactyl
When your gender-reassignment surgeon is Salvador Dali...
Threadwinner: prince of leaves
When life gives you melons, make melonade.
Best of Matt the K
Well, I prefer Hi-C but I spose Hi-D will work in a pinch.
Best of Adriane
Sadly, Obamacare made short work of the Society for Cosmetic Surgery's annual Most Imaginative Use of Silicon Award ...
Best of molson
They aren't real, but they're full of liquor so it's all good.
Best of Submariner
I really like the way my doctor ensures I get at least two daily servings of citrus to ward away the rickets.
Best of Steve O
Frank feels like he's made a connection, and wonders if he should ask her out.