Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Qui a nous, ici?

1. "Something has the grasp of me, but I can't think of the word for it."

2. Don't fret it, folks. Keanu always needs a few hours to recover after hearing Kenny Rogers croon "Lady."

3. "Here I sit all broken-hearted. I should never have trusted that fart."

4. How come I didn't get invited to Limbaugh's wedding?

5. "But what if it doesn't happen to all men sometime?"

Best of GregMan
"Aw, man, Al Gore got to Laurie David before I did."

Best of GregMan
*Sigh*. My caps never make the "Best Of's."

Best of Submariner
Army of Mom said I wasn't man enough for her...

Best of Capt. Queeg
"..then she tells I'm lousy at Kung-Fu, but didn't want to say anything. Man, I sure could use a Reassuring Gaze right about now."

Best of Silhouette
I had an idea for a centrifuge too. But I didn't do anything with it because I thought, hey, I'm just an actor. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Best of dub
Sullivans search for Keanu's Fake Cock lead to even more disappointment.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Go on, happy pigeon, go on. You cannot possibly fathom my ennui.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Let me be clear. I take full responsibility for ensuring that the pigeons pick up every seed on the ground. I will keep my foot on their necks. The buck stops with me."

Best of Jay Guevara
"But...but...he seemed so... clean, so... articulate..."

Best of Matt the K
Keanu reminisces with the paper bags he could not act his way out of.... there, fixed it.

31 comments:

GregMan said...

"Aw, man, Al Gore got to Laurie David before I did."

GregMan said...

Keanu Reeves Thought Bubble: *Sigh*. My caps never make the "Best Of's."

Submariner said...

Tom Cruise finds out they AREN'T behind the Hale-Bopp Comet.

Submariner said...

BHO lied? I can't believe BHO lied to Hollywood...

Submariner said...

Army of Mom said I wasn't man enough for her...

Submariner said...

When we return, Randy Jones initially falls on hard times after the break up on:
E! True Story; It Doesn't Take The Village, People.

Capt. Queeg said...

"..then she tells I'm lousy at Kung-Fu, but didn't want to say anything. Man, I sure could use a Reassuring Gaze right about now."

JohnS1959 said...

Hope and change, Bob thought sadly. Well I certainly got the change part of the deal when the firm let me go last month. Here pidgy pidgy pidgy... Daddy's hopin' for a nice squab dinner....

Anonymous said...

Keith Olbermann tries to communicate with a pidgeon and the pidgeon isn't buying it. Summarily, the pidgeon becomes "The Worst Person of the Week."

Vinney

Silhouette said...

I had an idea for a centrifuge too. But I didn't do anything with it because I thought, hey, I'm just an actor. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Silhouette said...

I wish I had a vuvuzela.

dub said...

Hey, I think I see his cock....

dub said...

Sullivans search for Keanu's Fake Cock lead to even more disappointment.

dadoctah said...

Cover of the upcoming Wyld Stallyns album.

blue said...

"...how can I be homeless? I have the same shoes Obama wore on that beach.."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama thawtballoon - "Dangit, how come a cute little birdie didn't scurry in front of my podium instead of that rat??"

-OR-

Out Out, DAMN EARWORM! ... Day 3
Gawd, I can't take it anymore! When is that freaking toilet cleaner jingle going to stop playing in my head?!?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A free range chicken in Central Park? Either V the K's squirrel got mugged or global warming is ratcheting up a notch.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Go on, happy pigeon, go on. You cannot possibly fathom my ennui.

Jack Reacher said...

"Let's see, my portfolio includes AIG, Citibank, Fannie Mae, GM, and BP. Better save some of this seed for dinner."

Jack Reacher said...

"Let me be clear. I take full responsibility for ensuring that the pigeons pick up every seed on the ground. I will keep my foot on their necks. The buck stops with me."

Rodney Dill said...

Man, I gotta get a handle on this apathy, but I just don't care.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

A common sight outside the State Department after sharing a first 'restroom break' with the Secretary...

Submariner said...

Think YOU have troubles, bunky? He just found out he got his mother-in-law pregnant...

Anonymous said...

Courtney Love turned me down! What's wrong with me?

Jay Guevara said...

"But...but...he seemed so... clean, so... articulate..."

Matt the K said...

Keanu reminisces with the paper bags he could not act out of.

Matt the K said...

Having run out of ideas for "The Matrix IV", Neo becomes a mid-air-hovering pigeon stomper.

Matt the K said...

Keanu reminisces with the paper bags he could not act HIS WAY out of.... there, fixed it.

molson said...

Relax. It was just a joke. Adam Lambert isn't going straight.

Merovign said...

Wait... is that a camera... don't move... flat affect... just a little closer...