Monday, June 07, 2010

Meanwhile, Back at Ford's Theater

Sondra K


1. "Um, I don't know, M'Chel. I think 'Sic Semper Tyrranus' is, um, Austrian or something."

2. Bammy stuggles to keep his hand off Tucker Carlson's thigh, but the temptation is tough.

3. "Annie Sprinkle does a great live show... still, could use more Bush-bashing."

4. Just moments before the unfortunate "racist" incident that ended Gallagher's career.

5. "Did you see her pull those 'Jew Cookies' out of the oven? Roseanne Barr is a stand-up comic genius!"

Best of dadoctah
Opening night at "My Pet Goat: The Musical!"

Best of metalgarth
Carl paid big money to get front row seats at the Krusty Komedy Klassic

Best of Vinney
"Michele, do you believe these suck-up crackers are enjoying Deaf Poetry"?

Threadwinner: mega
"Other than a giant oil spill ruining the lower half of the country for the next century, Mrs. Obama, how was the play?"

Best of mega
thought bubble: "If those actors don't do a better job, I'm gonna kick their asses."

Best of Whacko
"Psst, Michelle, your necklace looks like it was made from the front grille of a Buick."

Best of Jack Reacher
As the Obamas enjoy the third hour of the latest feminist-Marxist performance piece, the couple to their right prays for the sweet release of death.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Help! Is there a community organizer in the house?" Shouts you'll never, ever hear.

Best of Mr. Hankey
"...and that everyone is what we call a library. Now let's discuss the librarian lady..."

Best of GregMan
M'chelle clenches her powerful jaw muscles as she realizes that the Klingons do not in fact win in Star Trek III.

Best of Submariner
The Obamalama is about to find out what's worse - front row at a Gallagher event, or front row when Chris Mathews finds out he's in the audience...

33 comments:

dadoctah said...

Who would have thought, all these years after Ed Sullivan went off the air, that there'd be such a sudden upsurge in the popularity of plate-spinning?

dadoctah said...

Opening night at "My Pet Goat: The Musical!"

Anonymous said...

Obama and crew declined the Lincoln balcony seats, not because of fear from a repeat performance, but because of the little known 1999 surgical fusing of his first 3 cervical vertebrae, preventing him from looking in a downward direction.

metalgarth said...

"quiet M'Chel, the Sherriff is a'nearin'"

metalgarth said...

Carl paid big money to get front row seats at the Krusty Komedy Klassic

Anonymous said...

"Michele, do you believe these suck-up crackers are enjoying Deaf Poetry"?

Vinney

Achilles said...

"This All-Black Performance of Ain't Misbehavin' is way better than some stupid honky-ass D-Day ceremony."

Anonymous said...

The Washington Glitterati attend a sneak preview of the remake of The A-Team. A mesmerized Obama lipsyncs, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

At a closed performance at Ford's Theatre, Penn and Teller were secretly trying to make this administration disappear.

Vinney

mega said...

"Other than a giant oil spill ruining the lower half of the country for the next century, Mrs. Obama, how was the play?"

mega said...

thought bubble: "If those actors don't do a better job, I'm gonna kick their asses."

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "Impressive without teleprompters."

Whacko said...

"Psst, Michelle, your necklace looks like it was made from the front grille of a Buick."

Jack Reacher said...

As the Obamas enjoy the third hour of the latest feminist-Marxist performance piece, the couple to their right prays for the sweet release of death.

Jack Reacher said...

"Help! Is there a community organizer in the house?" Shouts you'll never, ever hear.

Jack Reacher said...

"That Leni Reifenstahl really knew her stuff, didn't she?"

Jack Reacher said...

"I know you like the big green dude, M'Chel, but I like the donkey. He's funny."

dub said...

For the first time in my life, I am proud to not be for sale on that stage.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Must. Not. Make. John. Wilkes. Booth. Reference.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thawtbubble of guy next to Obamalama - That agent ordered me to hold my hands like this for 2 freaking hours? Damnit, I have just as much right to that armrest as he does!

-OR-

Michelle's Thawtbubble - "Well damn, I have those same curtains in my closet! Good thing I chose to wear this outfit with the xmas decorations."

HLam said...

Pres. Zero to Chewbaka: "Damn I gotta pee. I don't know how much longer I can sit like this. Think anyone will notice if I get up to go?"

divine miss m said...

That foil dress makes Michelle look like a baked potato.

Mr. Hankey said...

"...and that everyone is what we call a library. Now let's discuss the librarian lady..."

GregMan said...

"Look, Lincoln is just like me! Except he didn't hate Amerikkka."

GregMan said...

"It's strange, M'chelle, but listening to readings of Frank Marshall Davis' poetry makes my ass hurt."

GregMan said...

M'chelle clenches her powerful jaw muscles as she realizes that the Klingons do not in fact win in Star Trek III.

molson said...

Ten minutes to Wapner.

Anonymous said...

This site sucks. I came to laugh...but just stale Barney Frank jokes and Obama talks like Sambo cause he's black hyuck huck humor. Then I saw a link on the side to TEH conservative dominion and I realized why this site sucks so hard.

Conservatives just aren't funny.

Submariner said...

When did Dawn start posting as "Anonymous?"

Submariner said...

The Obamalama is about to find out what's worse - front row at a Gallagher event, or front row when Chris Mathews finds out he's in the audience...

dadoctah said...

"This is *awesome*! If there's any justice left in the world, the Oscar this year will go to Hot Tub Time Machine!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Move along, nothing to see, just replacing my vaguely worded captions above.

Thawtbubble of guy next to Obamalama - That agent ordered me to hold my hands like this for 2 freaking hours? Damnit, I have just as much right to that armrest as Obamalama does!

-OR-

Michelle's Thawtbubble - Well damn, I have those same curtains in my closet! Good thing I chose to wear this valance with my xmas decorations.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama's Fantasy Dream of a tale told in future school plays:
And then, after the President found enough spare change between the sofa cushions in the Lincoln bedroom to pay off the national debt, the First Lady tossed all her clothes onto the oil spill, soaking up every drop, and Americans lived happily ever after. applause applause encore! encore! 4 more years! 4 more years!