1. All charges would be dismissed after dub blamed "Sudden Acceleration Syndrome" for the mishap.
2. All charges would be dismissed after dub claimed he was unable to avoid the collision after being sucked into her event horizon.
3. All charges would be dismissed after dub claimed he tried to swerve to avoid her but ran out of gas.
4. All charges would be dismissed after dub invoked the "What happens at Avalon Manor stays at Avalon Manor" defense.
5. "Dub, don't hit her! She's on her way to sing over the Obama presidency."
Best of Vinney
On the next Ghost Hunters, Jason and Grant investigate really full body apparitions at a local Jenny Craig.
Best of dub
Has M'chelle lost weight?
Threadwinner: Army of Dad
Buffalo Bill eyes his next victim.
Best of Army of Dad
Wow, Kirstie Alley has really lost weight!
Best of Jack Reacher
Her family brings her to the self-serve car wash because it's faster, and doesn't stress the tub at home.
Best of Steve O
Ojects may be larger than they appear.
Actually, strike that.
Best of Submariner
al'Gore smirked; "I'd hit that..."
Bubba giggled; "I already did!"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
You know you're obese #829: When you have to take the detour because of a weight limit sign on the Main Street overpass.
Best of Matt the K
Kelly LeBrock reeeeeaaaallly let herself go.
Best of dadoctah
Golden oldie: Aiieee! Gojira!!!
35 comments:
"Now we will find out if Fat Ladies really sing!"
Thank god it's not Thursday!
On the next Ghost Hunters, Jason and Grant investigate really full body apparitions at a local Jenny Craig.
Vinney
Has M'chelle lost weight?
Yeah right, like she's gonna fit in the back of a MINI-Van.
Keep your chins up, baby!
In Soviet Russia, street walks you!
Buffalo Bill eyes his next victim.
Wow, Kirstie Alley has really lost weight!
Jessica Simpson after she replaced Tony Romo with food.
Her family brings her to the self-serve car wash because it's faster, and doesn't stress the tub at home.
Yea, I have derided the "America is obese" studies for the last time, as today a vision passed before me. Took a while to pass, actually.
Ever notice that funny smell when pork gets wet?
wv: acombo. A whole *bunch* of combos, if you ask me!
Ojects may be larger than they appear.
Actually, strike that.
Santa?
Tough call. Judge has to decide if Dub struck a pedestrian or, as he claims, simply couldn't avoid a huge obstruction in the road.
-OR-
PETA's lawsuit forced Ringling Bros. to stop parading elephants down roads to announce the arrival of the circus... so now they're using the fat lady.
-OR-
DC Metro BOLO - Albino hippo just stole Michelle's favorite drapes and was last seen ambling down Pennsylvania Avenue.
WordVerify: inguesh - What ahole liberals refuse to make immigrants learn before* they qualify for citizenship. *(or after)
Your Taxes At Work
With unemployment at record levels, the Sec. of Transportation begins deploying fat broads as mobile impact barrels.
UPDATE: PETA files protest, the ACLU remains conflicted.
al'Gore smirked; "I'd hit that..."
Bubba giggled; "I already did!"
In their bid to out-sleeze the Democrats during the presidential election, the Republicans discover a new red state in its entirety.
Jeez, man, doesn't the Surgeon General get a limo or something?
Mu, muumuu or just MOO!
I thought Lewinsky had moved to England.
♪ The lady in red - is dancing with me...
and you...
and the next guy...♫
Inspiration for the commercial where the rolls of silk fabric are covering everything from sea to shining sea?
We report - you decide.
"Watch as Kirstie moon-walks to demonstrate our new line's safety feature..."
>beep< >beep< >beep< >beep<
Shortest Carpe Caption Everrr:
WIDE LOAD
-OR-
Mu Mu's for the really obese - Size Double-Wide
You know you're obese #829: When you have to take the detour because of a weight limit sign on the Main Street overpass.
Kelly LeBrock reeeeeaaaallly let herself go.
You guys really shouldn't be making fun of this lady. Somewhere in there, there's a sweet little girl struggling to get out.
Or maybe two.
Baby got back!
... and wings, legs, thighs, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, n' biscuits ...
Patty's Thawtbubble: What does that self-esteem coach know? "Dress up, walk down the street thinking sexy thoughts and you'll be sexy!" Should have known he was a fraud when he said, "Good Luck, Fatty, er... I mean Patty."
Honestly, it's the serendipitous captcha words that keep dragging me back!
WordVerify: fallosit - the bigger they are, the harder they...
Golden oldie: Aiieee! Gojira!!!
I don't know why, but I have a sudden craving for tater tots and moon pies.
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