Jule the Jarhead
1. All charges would be dismissed after dub blamed "Sudden Acceleration Syndrome" for the mishap.
2. All charges would be dismissed after dub claimed he was unable to avoid the collision after being sucked into her event horizon.
3. All charges would be dismissed after dub claimed he tried to swerve to avoid her but ran out of gas.
4. All charges would be dismissed after dub invoked the "What happens at Avalon Manor stays at Avalon Manor" defense.
5. "Dub, don't hit her! She's on her way to sing over the Obama presidency."
Best of Vinney
On the next Ghost Hunters, Jason and Grant investigate really full body apparitions at a local Jenny Craig.
Best of dub
Has M'chelle lost weight?
Threadwinner: Army of Dad
Buffalo Bill eyes his next victim.
Best of Army of Dad
Wow, Kirstie Alley has really lost weight!
Best of Jack Reacher
Her family brings her to the self-serve car wash because it's faster, and doesn't stress the tub at home.
Best of Steve O
Ojects may be larger than they appear.
Actually, strike that.
Best of Submariner
al'Gore smirked; "I'd hit that..."
Bubba giggled; "I already did!"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
You know you're obese #829: When you have to take the detour because of a weight limit sign on the Main Street overpass.
Best of Matt the K
Kelly LeBrock reeeeeaaaallly let herself go.
Best of dadoctah
Golden oldie: Aiieee! Gojira!!!