1. The public lacks confidence in Obama's clean-up promises.
2. She's not even on the Gulf Coast, she's just downwind from Rosie O'Donnell.
3. "No, Jeannie, your face is fine. It's your belly roll dub doesn't want to look at."
4. "Nah, the beach is fine. I was just listening to Obama's speech from last night. Whew, was that a stinker!"
5. Rejected Lost ending No. 32.
Best of Vinney
Grace was a bit of a drama queen when it came to the smell of her own queefs.
Best of Silhouette
Imperial Storm Troopers need vacations too.
Best of Jack Reacher
Sharon was enjoying the beach until an older man in a suit with a flag pin tried to pull of her gas mask as he yelled "Who are you? Who are you?"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Jenny Craig's House of Recidivistic Gluttony should have known things weren't going well when paid spokespiggy Kirstie Alley began asking for compensation in the form of aerosolized Twinkies.
Best of Rodney Dill
Bertha Vader enjoying the Tattooine beach.
Best of Submariner
You read the article about the exploding whale before heading to the beach, huh?
Best of GregMan
Mary never did make the connection between the smell of rotting meat and all the food particles that got stuck in the folds of her fat rolls.
Best of JohnS1959
Oil Spill? No - it is the unbearable stench of failure she can't stand...
Best of metalgarth
I'm not sure I understand what Lady Gaga is going for anymore