1. "Next time I'll go easier on you," Army of Mom promised with a wink.
2. The SEIU strongly expressed their disapproval of Ricky's "Free Samples" stand.
3. Nathan regrets cutting off Michael Moore at the All-you-can-eat buffet.
4. "I went to the ObamaCare Clinic for a skull fracture and they said it would be cheaper to treat me for four broken limbs."
5. When Gay Pron Star "Johnny Schlong" tried to escape the basement of his "Number One Fan," Barney Frank went all Misery on him.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Hey, what's with the banjo music? Guys? Guys? Okay, this isn't funny..."
Best of Matt the K
Spotting her disabled prey from high above, Army of Mom swoops in for the kill.
Best of sonicfrog
"Next time I'll go easier on you," Army of Mom promised to the twink.
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
OK Uncle Frank, hit that shock absorber with the air hose again!
Best of robert
You put your right foot in / You put your right foot out / You put your right foot in / And you shake it all about. / You do the Hokey Pokey / And you turn yourself around... and then it got weird.
Best of prince of leaves
"Brokelimb Crawlspace", Ang Lee's acclaimed sequel to "Brokeback Mountain", earned the director six Oscars and three consecutive life terms.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Since he was already plaster cast in the right position and on Extra Strength Vicodin, Fred's frat brothers ignored his weak protests and decided he could go skydiving again.
Best of mega
"Let's take a vacation this summer, she says. Let's go to Toronto cause the people are so friendly, she says."
Best of JohnS1959
In retrospect Bobby realized he probably shouldn't have asked the team of BP scientists and engineers to help him with his bad hair day.
Best of Adriane
"Just a flesh wound ... "
24 comments:
"Hey Nancy, want to see my fifth cast"?
Vinney
"Hey, what's with the banjo music? Guys? Guys? Okay, this isn't funny..."
And that was the last time Skeeter tried to hump an over-heating meth vat.
Spotting her disabled prey from high above, Army of Mom swoops in for the kill.
"Wut do you say to a redneck rent boy with 2 broke legs and 2 broke arms?"
"Nuthin. You done told him 4 times."
It puts the lotion in AoM's basket or it gets the hose.
"Next time I'll go easier on you," Army of Mom promised to the twink.
The doctor was stumped as to how he broke all four limbs at once.
This is not the cast wrap party he hoped for.
Oh the irony, the white supremacist not only got his ass kicked, but had to have to black arms for 6-8 weeks.
Dude, yo casts dey be so gimp!
OK Uncle Frank, hit that shock absorber with the air hose again!
I swear! I was just helpin' the bull over the fence!
You put your right foot in / You put your right foot out / You put your right foot in / And you shake it all about. / You do the Hokey Pokey / And you turn yourself around... and then it got weird.
"Brokelimb Crawlspace", Ang Lee's acclaimed sequel to "Brokeback Mountain", earned the director six Oscars and three consecutive life terms.
Ebony & Ivory yur doin it rong.
And now, if Dumb can crawl to the podium a little faster, he'll be accepting a posthumous Darwin Award for his brother Dumber for "Best U R Doing It Wrong Stunt" filmed during JackAss sweepsweek.
-OR-
Just as Kyle thought things couldn't get worse, the doorbell rang and he heard... "Hewwo, it's Congrethman Bawney Fwank, looking for a new fwiend!"
-OR-
Obamalama's Credit Loan Remediation deals sound good, but with banks outsourcing collections to guys like Knuckles and Jimmy the Claw, you know there's got to be a downside.
Someday, Zippy would look back on the machine wash/tumble dry dare and laugh. Someday.
-OR-
Geronimo!
Since he was already plaster cast in the right position and on Extra Strength Vicodin, Fred's frat brothers ignored his weak protests and decided he could go skydiving again.
"Let's take a vacation this summer, she says. Let's go to Toronto cause the people are so friendly, she says."
In retrospect Bobby realized he probably shouldn't have asked the team of BP scientists and engineers to help him with his bad hair day.
The best Tarzan scream I ever heard was at the circus, when the catcher realized he was the blunt of a nasty prank, SUPERGLUED to his trapeze AND to his catch. I sure hope it's posted on YouTube.
wv: thatHow
Gay suburbanites have the weirdest fetishes
"Just a flesh wound ... "
How was I supposed to know it was Chuck Norris blowing that vuvuzela?
An obvious lack of Monroe shock absorbers.
And maybe he was hauling too wide a load, with a not wide enough stance.
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