Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Arrgh! My Eyes! The Goggles, They Do Nothing!

Brender


1. Sullivan watched the Prvincetown 4th of July parade go by, muttering "plugged that hole... plugged that hole... coulda plugged that hole... plugged that hole."

2. That reminds me, I gotta pick up some cottage cheese on the way home.

3. Ultimately, its commitment to a diverse workforce was what did in 'Baskets' as a competitor to 'Hooters.'

4. On his way to the White House, General McChrystal occupied his time by imagining things that would be more humiliating than a dressing down from a dipsh-t community organizer.

5. "First of all, Ang Lee, it's way too soon for a V for Vendetta remake. Second of all..."

Best of Capt. Queeg
TOPHAT AND TAILS
UR DOIN IT RONG

Best of GregMan
The Obamessiah's oil spill expert commission goes out in the Gulf for another afternoon of hole-plugging.

Best of Adriane
The real reason that cameras at the Royal Ascot Horse Race are allowed only at the East Entrance ...

Best of Double the U
The Naked Cowboy/Cowgirl franchise never caught on. The Naked Chimney Sweeps did remarkably well.

Best of Submariner
Bad News: There is still no Gulf Coast tourism to be seen.
Good News: It's no longer because of the oil spill.

Best of JohnS1959
Unfortunately, the shipper confused the orders and sent the Victoria's Secret shipment to the Moose Lodge by mistake. The annual belly flop competition went down hill from there...

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
If this isn't one of the signs of the approaching apocalypse...it should be.
The verification word is "fabobkis." I have seen Fabobkis and this is not fabobkis.

Best of Dactyl
The made-for-TV version of Lovecraft's "Shadow Over Innsmouth" had a pretty small special effects budget, but they managed to make it scary anyway.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Screw you, we work for Mel Brooks."

Best of Submariner
I'm not sure who they are, but I'm fairly certain that short one in the middle of the next to last row is the Secretary of State.

Best of Matt the K
After a day of cavorting with the chorus boys of 'Mary Poppins', Dick Van Dyke swore off the booze for good!

Best of molson
Don't ask a string to do the work of a 10'x20' tarp.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Subby says - I'm fairly certain that short one in the middle of the next to last row is the Secretary of State.
Vegas bookies have it being that mouthy maryland medicine ball, Barbara Mikulski.

Best of mega
The Financial Reform Bill left a lot of Wall Street bigwigs without the shirt on their back, but still in posession of their tophats. The overall effect was, actually, fairly surreal.

40 comments:

Capt. Queeg said...

TOPHAT AND TAILS
UR DOIN IT RONG

GregMan said...

The Obamessiah's oil spill expert commission goes out in the Gulf for another afternoon of hole-plugging.

GregMan said...

Another educational conference set up by the Safe Schools Czar, I see.

GregMan said...

Commencement Day at the Folsom Street Community College was always something to look forward to.

Adriane said...

The real reason that cameras at the Royal Ascot Horse Race are allowed only at the East Entrance ...

Unscrupulous said...

The bad news is.... well.... that's obvious. The good news is that they did decide to take a long walk off a short pier.

Submariner said...

PUTIN ON DA RITZ; UR DUIN IT RONG

Submariner said...

Fat guy in a tiny slingsuit.
Another fat guy in a tiny slingsuit.
And another fat guy...

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING;

Barney Frank has deployed a team of crack accountants to solve the banking industry problems.

Developing...

DRUDGE UPDATE;

Barney Frank has employed a crack team to account for his insolvency due to the banking industry problems.

Developing...

Submariner said...

"Im-Ho-Tep, Im-Ho-Tep, Im-Ho-Tep..."


"Gaia; we're too late - the 8th plague has been released!"

Double the U said...

The Naked Cowboy/Cowgirl franchise never caught on. The Naked Chimney Sweeps did remarkably well.

Submariner said...

MMS implements a new disaster plan plan.

Bad News: There is still no Gulf Coast tourism to be seen.

Good News: It's no longer because of the oil spill.

Silhouette said...

"Brides should be cautioned over taking wedding party pictures near bodies of water as our tuxedos may shrink if wet."

Anonymous said...

In a disgusting display of public protest, AARP's demonstration against Medicare cutbacks is taken right from the pages of Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals.

Vinney

JohnS1959 said...

Unfortunately, the shipper confused the orders and sent the Victoria's Secret shipment to the Moose Lodge by mistake. The annual belly flop competition went down hill from there...

dadoctah said...

The next season of Survivor promises to be the strangest yet.

dadoctah said...

Just another Saturday afternoon over at the McCain ranch....

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

If this isn't one of the signs of the approaching apocalypse...it should be.

The verification word is "fabobkis." I have seen Fabobkis and this is not fabobkis.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Guillermo del Toro's resignation as director of 'The Hobbit' movies opens the way for a major revision in the history of how Ents evolved.

-OR-

With the cosmetic industry jumping on the male make-up bandwagon, be prepared for some odd and spectacularly gross Super Bowl commercials for wrinkle cream.

-OR-

4th of July reenactment of the founding fathers preparing to enact some corrupt legislation after coining the phrase - "You scratch my backside, I'll scratch yourn."

Dactyl said...

The made-for-TV version of Lovecraft's "Shadow Over Innsmouth" had a pretty small special effects budget, but they managed to make it scary anyway.

WV: rumpuc. I, er, shit you not, you rump puckers.

Rodney Dill said...

"Screw you, we work for Mel Brooks."

dadoctah said...

"This is *not* the clone army I ordered!"

Submariner said...

New York Times:
Dateline, 2023, Lake Placid, NY

As the Iranian hordes drew close for their 13th assault wave, Emperor for Life Obama (Praise be upon him) sent in the remaining US Presidential Guard. He stated; "You must go to, um, war with the , uh, army that you, uh, have, and, um, not necessarily the Army you wish you had."

Submariner said...

I'm not sure who they are, but I'm fairly certain that short one in the middle of the next to last row is the Secretary of State.

Submariner said...

It looks like Avalon Manor told their guests they would prefer them to come dressed formally for dinner...

Matt the K said...

After a day of cavorting with the chorus boys of 'Mary Poppins', Dick Van Dyke swore off the booze for good!


wv: caphop

Matt the K said...

This Sunday, Oscar Wilde holds his footman auditions in the park.

Matt the K said...

A Sherlock Holmes mystery best left unsolved...

Matt the K said...

The League of Extraordinary Gendermen

Matt the K said...

The League of Extraordinary Genderbenders


wv: dogyn. I'll say...

molson said...

Don't ask a string to do the work of a 10'x20' tarp.

Anonymous said...

The future was clear. With the advent of the thong, giving wedgies were becoming a thing of the past.

Vinney

Submariner said...

I don't think this team has a prayer to win in the Mummer's Parade unless they develop one heckuva synchronized inflatable cowboy routine.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Subby says - I'm fairly certain that short one in the middle of the next to last row is the Secretary of State.

Vegas bookies have it being that mouthy maryland medicine ball, Barbara Mikulski.

WordVerify: sorro - what i won't feel about any career politician that loses the next election

Rodney Dill said...


PUTTIN' ON THE RIIIIIITZ!!!"

Rodney Dill said...

Tour de Prance

mega said...

The Financial Reform Bill left a lot of Wall Street bigwigs without the shirt on their back, but still in posession of their tophats. The overall effect was, actually, fairly surreal.

Submariner said...

I don't think I'll ever understand British humor...

Matt the K said...

Ebeneezer Scrooge is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Fabulous.

dadoctah said...

When the reach the age of seventy, adult males on the planet Zvxblgts are marched off to the sea.

But at least they get to wear their Sunday best for the trip.