Monday, June 07, 2010

And I Cannot Lie


1. Dayum!

2. Yeah, they all start out as hot Brazilian teenage booty, then, they turn into that!

3. Obama knew better than to voice what he was thinking, "Does that thing beep when you back it up?"

4. How can you expect the president to deal with the oil spill, the deficit, the economy, or Iranian nuclear aggression when every night he must confront something even bigger and scarier.

5."That, um, reminds me. You ever see that, um, website. 'People of Walmart?'"

Related Headline: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler

Best of andthenblammo!
'Oh gawd, she's wearing my jockstrap again.'

Best of dub
Ba-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka
*passes over crack*
donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka

Best of HLam
"M'chel, you don't need to sneak your carry-on luggage onto Air Farce One. What? There's no duffel-bag stuffed in your pants? My bad."

Best of GregMan
Obamessiah thought bubble: "That reminds me, BP better plug that hole soon."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Speaking of plugging holes.... how 'bout we try our own junk shot tonight."

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"Remember girls: In case of a water landing, your Mother's ass can be used as a flotation device."

Best of Matt the K
"Mr. President, your ass-mounting truck, sir."

Best of molson
Baby got back and a good part of the neck roll too.

Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "When my wife sits around the White House..."

Best of Dactyl
The gravitational field of a black hole is so strong that not even light(workers) can escape it.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

After seeing Michelle's "visible panty line," Obama thought an atomic wedgie was in order.

Vinney

dub said...

"We're gonna need a bigger jet."

dub said...

Ba-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka

*passes over crack*

donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka-donka

HLam said...

"M'chel, you don't need to sneak your carry-on luggage onto Air Farce One. What? There's no duffel-bag stuffed in your pants? My bad."

GregMan said...

The Lightbringer thought bubble: "Man, sometimes I sure do miss Frank Marshall Davis."

GregMan said...

Obamessiah thought bubble: "That reminds me, BP better plug that hole soon."

GregMan said...

Obummer thought bubble: "That looks like two kittens fighting in a sack. Two big, fat, ugly, misshapen mutant kittens."

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

BHO: Hey Sarge, where da skinny white womens??

Blue said...

BHO: hmmm, the bigger the cushion the better the pushin, or so I've heard

mpur said...

Well, at least we can all rest easier knowing that M'Chell doesn't wear a thong.

dadoctah said...

"Okay, everybody remember where we parked!"

Rodney Dill said...

"I...uh didn't really mean nothin' could make your ass look bigger... dang where's TOTUS when you need it."

Rodney Dill said...

"Speaking of plugging holes.... how 'bout we try our own junk shot tonight."

Rodney Dill said...

Drill baby, drill

Rodney Dill said...

"Well if you used the handrail right you wouldn't have high water pants."

Jay Guevara said...

"Maybe we need two more zip codes."

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "Ya know, next trip, the Grand Canyon."

Jack Reacher said...

"Sergeant, what's the lift capacity of this aircraft, anyway? Oh, just wondering, really. No reason."

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

And in a voice cold with fury, Zeus intoned, "Release the Kraken!"



(And I think it entirely inappropriate that the verification word is "golic.")

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

She really IS just like Jackie, and this really IS just like Camelot!

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"Remember girls: In case of a water landing, your Mother's ass can be used as a flotation device."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Presidential thawtbubble: "Sad thing is, them ain't panty lines."

-OR-

Presidential thawbubble: "Another reason to ban imports from China. 'Invisible panty lines,' indeed!"

-OR-

Presidential scream: Arrrgh, my EYES!
Secret Service: POTUS needs the full strength bleach bottle, again!

WordVerify: thedric - how they pronounce Cedric in San Francisco.

Rodney Dill said...

I think we're gonna need a bigger plane.

Rodney Dill said...

Bend and.... rrriiippp

Rodney Dill said...

Stacy and Clinton were not amused.

Capt. Queeg said...

"An' I think I'll start with that one, right there!"

Matt the K said...

"Mr. President, your ass-mounting truck, sir."

Mr. Hankey said...

"Sorry bitches...I'm only going to New Orleans and have to pretend like I'm really working - so you stay home & do some laundry."

jj said...

Why Barney Frank is gay.

molson said...

Baby got back and a good part of the neck roll too.

molson said...

Damn Baby, what the heck you wearing those capri pants for? That arse was built for riding, not show.

Mr. Hankey said...

The New & Improved Tough Obama - "...and don't come back until you bring me my pancakes"

Mr. Hankey said...

...and if I hadn't found out until we got to New Orleans that you were wearing that period underwear, da'yem bitch...

Rodney Dill said...

"...and what the hell's that smell!!!"

Submariner said...

The One's thawt bubble; "I wonder if we'll see any OTHER hippos in Kenya on the family estate?"

Submariner said...

Donkey'd LOVE M'Chel...

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "When my wife sits around the White House..."

Submariner said...

SrA's thawt bubble; "Ho-ly SHI-ITE! I've seen max-pack seabags for six-month deployments with fewer bulges and ripples..."

Dactyl said...

The gravitational field of a black hole is so strong that not even light(workers) can escape it.