1. Marty should lay off the Haagen-Daaz if he hopes to keep his job at the strip club.
2. You think the thong is bad, you should see his tramp stamp.
3. Rejected by yet another of those cute thirteen year old boys, the Safe School Czar prepares to drown his sorrows in mint chocolate chip and Glee reruns.
4. Al Gore interrupts his daily jog for some urgent "carbo-loading."
5. Rosie O'Donnell makes a midnight raid on her personal, custom refrigerator.
Best of curly
Sherlock Holmes visits San Francisco: “'Elementary, my dear Watson! Haven’t you ever seen a gay plumber on his day off?”
Threadwinner: Matt the K
SNL ORA: "What a beauty! An old Norge, you don't see many of these things anymore."
Best of dadoctah
Under no circumstances is he allowed to buy any flavor of ice cream with the word "ripple" in the name.
Best of Submariner
THERE it is; Fudge Packer Swirlie...
Best of Jack Reacher
Next stop--the lotion aisle.
Best of dub
I just figured out where I'd be when my vomit reflex kicked in.
Best of Festivus
Akhmed risks everything by throwing a not-so-subtle hint Jamaal's way.
Best of Vinney
Ted liked to floss before he ate.
Best of Targetpractice
Anyone else feel the sudden urge to claw their eyes out and pour bleach in the empty sockets...or is just me?
Best of mega
Unable to afford the final third of the hair plugs, Sully decided to see if the Atlantic wanted to buy another article about Trig.