Saturday, May 01, 2010

Th-th-thong thong thong

Amy

1. Marty should lay off the Haagen-Daaz if he hopes to keep his job at the strip club.

2. You think the thong is bad, you should see his tramp stamp.

3. Rejected by yet another of those cute thirteen year old boys, the Safe School Czar prepares to drown his sorrows in mint chocolate chip and Glee reruns.

4. Al Gore interrupts his daily jog for some urgent "carbo-loading."

5. Rosie O'Donnell makes a midnight raid on her personal, custom refrigerator.

Best of curly
Sherlock Holmes visits San Francisco: “'Elementary, my dear Watson! Haven’t you ever seen a gay plumber on his day off?”

Threadwinner: Matt the K
SNL ORA: "What a beauty! An old Norge, you don't see many of these things anymore."

Best of dadoctah
Under no circumstances is he allowed to buy any flavor of ice cream with the word "ripple" in the name.

Best of Submariner
THERE it is; Fudge Packer Swirlie...

Best of Jack Reacher
Next stop--the lotion aisle.

Best of dub
I just figured out where I'd be when my vomit reflex kicked in.

Best of Festivus
Akhmed risks everything by throwing a not-so-subtle hint Jamaal's way.

Best of Vinney
Ted liked to floss before he ate.

Best of Targetpractice
Anyone else feel the sudden urge to claw their eyes out and pour bleach in the empty sockets...or is just me?

Best of mega
Unable to afford the final third of the hair plugs, Sully decided to see if the Atlantic wanted to buy another article about Trig.

26 comments:

curly said...

Sherlock Holmes visits San Francisco: “'Elementary, my dear Watson! Haven’t you ever seen a gay plumber on his day off?”

curly said...

Since her ObamaCare vote, going out in public incognito made life far simpler for Senator Barbara Mikulski.

Matt the K said...

SNL ORA:
"What a beauty! An old Norge, you don't see many of these things anymore."

Matt the K said...

Ralph is on the dessert committee for Flashdance SF.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thongcrackgate was just the latest in a series of out-of-the-closet gaffes to draw attention to the Pink Elephant Party.

-OR-

When asked why he chose such a plain thong for his late night performance at Jiffymart, ex-Florida legislator and reigning bj-meister Bob Allen replied, "Ah, well, ruffles have ridges."

dadoctah said...

Under no circumstances is he allowed to buy any flavor of ice cream with the word "ripple" in the name.

dadoctah said...

Cosmic cruelty: why do they always put the low-fat stuff on the bottom shelf?

Submariner said...

Geoffrey, Folsom Street Chapter Chair for Butts Not Bombs led off the evenings festivities. They were received with about the same welcome as their better-known feminine counterparts.

Submariner said...

THERE it is; Fudge Packer Swirlie...

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "hmmmm, do I feel up to corn dogs tonight?"

molson said...

Victor's Secret Catalogue? No freaking thank you.

Jack Reacher said...

Next stop--the lotion aisle.

Passionate Conservative said...

"Does this thong make my ass look fat?"

"--no, all the frakking ice cream you eat does!"

Passionate Conservative said...

Charles preparing for the Folsom Street Fair

dub said...

I just figured out where I'd be when my vomit reflex kicked in.

dub said...

Standard Capshin #423: Best Thursday Ever!!

Festivus said...

Akhmed risks everything by throwing a not-so-subtle hint Jamaal's way.

Anonymous said...

Ted liked to floss before he ate.

Vinney

Submariner said...

Just.Say.No.To.Crack.

Submariner said...

Not-so ORA:

Thought bubble; "Let's see - sorbet, ice milk, ice cream, frozen yogurt... where in the hell do they hide the pudding?"

dub said...

His buddies finally figured out why Frank made a whistle noise when he farted.

blue said...

I used to put a gerbil up there but now my new boyfriend makes me put a cat up there....

Anonymous said...

Another furtive, bald, white male.

Vinney

Submariner said...

"Honest officer, I always pick up the napkin palm up..."
"Fine Senator. Let's go tell 'em about it downtown."

Targetpractice said...

Anyone else feel the sudden urge to claw their eyes out and pour bleach in the empty sockets...or is just me?

mega said...

Unable to afford the final third of the hair plugs, Sully decided to see if the Atlantic wanted to buy another article about Trig.