Saturday, May 22, 2010

Standing on a Beach


1. ORA: "So, dad, did randomly shooting that Arab confirm your theories on existentialism?"

2. ORA: "So where the f*ck did that polar bear come from anyway?"

3. "You know, Daddy Gilligan, it's great that you and Mary Ann got together and had us kids... but seriously, who are we supposed to f*ck when we grow up?"

4. "At last, Cthulu awakes! This is gonna be awesome!"

5. "...used condoms...broken hypodermic needles.....used tampons...empty crack vials...green algae..This is just like our bathroom back home!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The elves aren't ever coming back, are they, Pappa Aragorn?
Sadly, no. Hey, if you squint and use your imagination, those tarballs resemble orcs I fought long ago.

Best of curly
“Look Dad, I know that Obama’s plan to collapse the US economy and usher in the New World Order is upon us, but do you really think we can swim all the way to Costa Rica?”

Best of curly
“No sweetie, those are common smells of an ocean beach at low tide and not a nearby meeting of senior Democratic congresswomen, female Supreme Court justices, Janet Napolitano and Elena Kagan.”

Best of molson
The sheen off of the oil slick sure is beautiful this time of the day.

Best of Double the U
Daddy, please tell us again how at one time this land provided food for the people of that place you called America.

Best of dub
Tom took a moment to take in another glorious sunset, proudly realizing he only has 3 regrets in life.

Best of Submariner
"What does that mushroom cloud on the horizon mean," Joey? I'll tell you what it means; you kids can go have a couple of six packs for breakfast while your mom and I see where all we can get sand before I go fish with no limit... THAT'S what it means

Best of dadoctah
"Okay, kids, now hold on and we'll all walk slowly forward together until the hurt goes away."

Best of mega
The Gore family was heartbroken to see another sunny mild day, no changes in the climate, same as a week ago, same as ten thousand years ago.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Christmas portraits for shy families.

Best of GregMan
"So we hold hands, walk into the waves, slowly ascend into Heaven and become beings of pure light and love? At least that's less confusing than the series ending of Lost.

28 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The elves aren't ever coming back, are they, Pappa Aragorn?
Sadly, no. Hey, if you squint and use your imagination, those tarballs resemble orcs I fought long ago.

-or-

Parenting 101: To Heed or Not to Heed... a Tsunami Warning

curly said...

"Thank you, President Obama, for granting us an interview."

curly said...

“Look Dad, I know that Obama’s plan to collapse the US economy and usher in the New World Order is upon us, but do you really think we can swim all the way to Costa Rica?”

curly said...

“Wow Dad! Before the earthquake, everyone thought you were crazy when bought this land in Arizona and referred to it as beachfront property.”

curly said...

“No sweetie, those are common smells of an ocean beach at low tide and not a nearby meeting of senior Democratic congresswomen, female Supreme Court justices, Janet Napolitano and Elena Kagan.”

molson said...

The sheen off of the oil slick sure is beautiful this time of the day.

Double the U said...

Daddy, please tell us again how at one time this land provided food for the people of that place you called America.

dub said...

Tom took a moment to take in another glorious sunset, proudly realizing he only has 3 regrets in life.

Submariner said...

"What does that mushroom cloud on the horizon mean," Joey? I'll tell you what it means; you kids can go have a couple of six packs for breakfast while your mom and I see where all we can get sand before I go fish with no limit... THAT'S what it means

Submariner said...

Trust me kids; if Uncle Subby said he'd meet us at this beach, he will. Just keep watchin' for a periscope...

Submariner said...

Ted and Bob and Carole and Alice wait patiently on a Bay area beach for their newest swing partners, Freddy and Lassie.

Adriane said...

OK. So if, 'Life's a beach and then you die' ... and this morning, we're here on this beach, then tonight ... AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE

Chevy Rose said...

..."Yes, it's far, but there are no racial pimps allowed on "Little America Island", and it's guarded by well-armed patriots, o.k., The End. Now let's head back to L.A.." - - Just another sick fable for the kiddos.

Chevy Rose said...

...."Yes, we're LOST, but I saw something like this on TV, so watch for other plane survivors to surface."

"BUT DADDY! WE WERE ON A SAIL BOAT!!"

w/v= outedgy

curly said...

I love the smell of iPalm in the morning.

dadoctah said...

"Okay, kids, now hold on and we'll all walk slowly forward together until the hurt goes away."

dadoctah said...

The Courtship of Eddie's Father. And Eddie. And the neighbor girl Eddie used to play doctor with. And the French exchange student who came to live with us after Mrs Livingston got deported back to Japan.

dadoctah said...

The Greenbaums still stand like this for hours at a time, wishing NBC would bring Conan back.

dadoctah said...

"Look, Sarah! You can see Russia from here!"

Anonymous said...

Fred was so cheap. He took his family on vacation and told them this was the best spot for whale watching.

Vinney

mega said...

The Gore family was heartbroken to see another sunny mild day, no changes in the climate, same as a week ago, same as ten thousand years ago.

Submariner said...

ORA:

I've carefully calculated that this is the best place on Earth to see "Wolf-Biederman."

dub said...

Yes....silicon comes from sand. So all we have to do is grind some up and we can finally get mom some tits to be proud of.

dub said...

Kids, I dont care what your mom tells you....you can not get crabs from coming here.

dub said...

Is it low tide, or did mom queef again?

Mr. Hankey said...

Anonymous Christmas portraits for shy families.

GregMan said...

The Wilson family basks in the soft glow of Iranian and North Korean atom bombs detonating in the distance.

GregMan said...

"So we hold hands, walk into the waves, slowly ascend into Heaven and become beings of pure light and love? At least that's less confusing than the series ending of Lost.