1. "Look Bessie! Ashton Kutcher had a yard sale. I bought his bong. It'll be great once I wash the Demi Moore smell out."
2. The romantic alpenhorn music did nothing to ease Bessie's first night in Enumclaw.
3. Wesley Crusher's "Swiss Cow-Tipping" Holodeck program was one of the many reasons the Enterprise crew hated him as much as the fans did.
4. In a meadow near Flagstaff, illegal immigrant Diego Hernandez thinks his clever disguise will thwart the border police.
5. Seeing the artificial insemination device for the first time, Bessie panics.
Best of Vinney
"And in the latest news on Wall Street, Ricola has just bought Laughting Cow Cheese."
Best of David
Best of curly
♪ The hills are alive with the sound of moo-ing
With bongs the size of a cowhand’s spears
Methane farts fill the air with the sound of moo-ing
Mozart would rip out his ears. ♫
Best of Army of Dad
dub flashes back to Thursday.
Best of Rodney Dill
The horn blower was outstanding in his field.
Keith Olberman flashes back to his college days.
Best of Festivus
Pioneer Days in Enumclaw: Huffing Marigolds and Taking Turns on Bessie.
Best of Passionate Conservative
Val Kilmer tries to relive his breakout roles, Part One.
Best of Submariner
Mythbusters be damned, Adolf and Bessie prove the reality of "the brown note."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Wilhelm hated the daily chore of blowing the wax out of grandpa's hearing aid almost as much as he hated watching grandpa do much the same thing to his pet, Gertruda.