Monday, May 31, 2010

Rain Man


1. "Emanuel! Axelrod! Get your chalky-white honky asses back here and do The Mikato with me."

2. "In the Holy Name of Allah, I command this rain to stop!"

3. The ceremony was going great until a drunken Patrick Kennedy slammed his Beamer into a fire hydrant.

4. "Wow. Look at my teleprompter guy twitch. How many volts do you think are going through him?"

5. "So, Pelosi is water-soluble. Who knew? What a world, indeed."

Best of mega
Unprecedented rainstorm.

Best of Submariner
♪ I'm singin' in the rain...♪
kick the US econonmy
♪ Just singin' in the rain...♪
upper cut to the taxpayer
♪ What a glo-rious feeling, ♪
rabbit punch the wealthy
♪ I'm Hap- Hap- Happy again! ♪

Best of blue
I wonder what happens if I grab the microphone when it is wet??

Best of Censors Hip
those queer boys who want me to repel Clinton's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" did promise me a golden shower

Best of Matt the K
As a stipulation of the bailout package, the Morton Brothers were pressured to pick a certain someone as their new Salt Girl.

Best of dadoctah
"Okay, who pissed off the Hopi dancers?"

Best of HLam
"This rain is, um, Bush's fault."

Best of Adriane
Hanging Around ... Some kind of lonely clown ... Rainy Days and Mondays ...

Threadwinner curly
The clouds acted stupidly.

Best of dub
For the first time in my life, I am proud to own an umbrella.

Best of Dactyl
Note to White House staff: next time we visit the Tallahassahoochy County fair, position podium farther away from the annual spittin' contest.

26 comments:

mega said...

Obama had long since learned; when Chris Matthews is in the house, it's wise to carry an umbrella for, um, protection. Especially when you get to the part about Transformative Change and Renewal.

mega said...

Unprecedented rainstorm.

Submariner said...

♪ I'm singin' in the rain...♪
kick the US econonmy
♪ Just singin' in the rain...♪
upper cut to the taxpayer
♪ What a glo-rious feeling, ♪
rabbit punch the wealthy
♪ I'm Hap- Hap- Happy again! ♪

Submariner said...

...and I, um, HOPE for a, uh, CHANGE in the, um, weather.

mega said...

"And on this Malarial Day, we honor the corPses and salute the brave rednecks who for god knows what reason take IEDS so we can enjoy our iPads in peace and quiet."

molson said...

Who will stop the rain? I will stop the rain. The buck stops here.

blue said...

I wonder what happens if I grab the microphone when it is wet??

Censors Hip said...

those queer boys who want me to repel Clinton's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" did promise me a golden shower

Matt the K said...

As a stipulation of the bailout package, the Morton Brothers were pressured to pick a certain someone as their new Salt Girl.

dadoctah said...

"Okay, who pissed off the Hopi dancers?"

mega said...

"Whoever does Singing In The Rain at a press conference is the most powerful man in the history of the world. Maybe a God." Rahm's practical joke got waaaaaay out of hand.

mega said...

"OK guys, now pay attention. When the Israeli commandos come down the rope, grab your umbrella or other weapon like this, and swing it as hard as you can."

Rodney Dill said...

"No Joe... Hold the umbrella over TOTUS, not over you."

HLam said...

"This rain is, um, Bush's fault."

Adriane said...

Hanging Around ... Some kind of lonely clown ... Rainy Days and Mondays ...

curly said...

The rain insane falls mainly on Hussein.

curly said...

The clouds acted stupidly.

dub said...

For the first time in my life, I am proud to own an umbrella.

dub said...

Trying to ease the mood, Biden does his best impression of what's washing up all over the gulf coast...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Even though mother nature is raining on my parade, I take full responsibility, and assure you your federal govt is doing everything it can to put a stop this unprecedented event.

-OR-

Thawtballoon - Dammit, if Biden was here, he'd be staring straight up and I could save him from drowning and look all presidential.

Dactyl said...

Note to White House staff: next time we visit the Tallahassahoochy County fair, position podium farther away from the annual spittin' contest.

jj said...

"Plug that damn hole"

WV: holine... Where O is going to meet Slick Willie after this speech.

Anonymous said...

Ted Danson in blackface couldn't resist Jolson's rendition of April Showers.

Vinney

Submariner said...

Long-time observers have now noted that for some unknown reason, every time Jet Blue flies over one of the President's speaking engagements, there was always a short-term, localized, blue-sky shower...

Submariner said...

"April, uh, um, uh, showers, bring, um, May, uh, uh..."

mklasing said...

"I have important stuff to say--but if you are going to let a little rain drive you away then as my VP would say F*** You"