Friday, May 28, 2010

More Bears


1. "Oh, c'mon Yogi. What kind of sick intercourse would demean this adorable nature scene with second-rate bestiality-pedophilia references."

2. "Keep acting cute until we lure the hippies close enough to rip their throats out."

3. "No, not here in the open. Let's go beneath the trees where nobody sees. Then, we'll have our 'picnic.'"

4. "That 'Eiffel Tower' with Goldilocks was awesome! Gimme five, bro!"

5. "Do you see any trees around here? Take it into the woods, Winnie-the-Pooh!"


Best of Submariner
Dammit; if our nose tackle is begging for another breakfast at the campsite again, I'm gonna kick his a$$.

Best of Tim
That sound you hear is a million Furries fapping in their suits

Best of Adriane
It's just a rug, man. Really! It's nobody we know ...

Best of curly
“Life is full of opportunities for bears. Just look at our great aunt, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan.”

Best of Julie the Jarhead
"Let's take the 'T' into Boston next weekend and make this official."

Best of Silhouette
"See? You have them and so do I. In fact, we have a RIGHT to bear arms."

Best of Jack Reacher
"I'm from the Federally-Managed Wildlife Habitat Area, and I'm here to help you."

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
I'm white, you are black - maybe our cub will grow up to be a community organizer!

Best of Matt the K
Having grown up in a Southern forest, the cubs' mixed marriage was frowned upon.

22 comments:

dadoctah said...

"Check it out. I got a spot on an upcoming South Park where I get to dress as Mohammed."

lostandu: I'm lost too, thanks for asking.

Submariner said...

Sully's web search for bear on bear did not yield the results he expected, but were nevertheless intriguing...

Submariner said...

Dammit; if our nose tackle is begging for another breakfast at the campsite again, I'm gonna kick his a$$.

Tim said...

that sound you hear is a million Furries fapping in their suits

Adriane said...

It's just a rug, man. Really! It's nobody we know ...

curly said...

“Life is full of opportunities for bears. Just look at our great aunt, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan.”

dub said...

Broke Back Mountain 2, starring Winnie The Pooh and Barrack Obama.

Julie the Jarhead said...

"Let's take the 'T' into Boston next weekend and make this official."

Silhouette said...

"See? You have them and so do I. In fact, we have a RIGHT to bear arms."

Submariner said...

dub said...
Broke Back Mountain 2, starring Winnie The Pooh and Barrack Obama.


With Obamala being the "not-quite-a-black-bear," right?

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm from the Federally-Managed Wildlife Habitat Area, and I'm here to help you."

Jack Reacher said...

"You've seen those Charmin commercials, right, Dave? Just sayin', you might want to check yourself."

Jack Reacher said...

Many years ago
"Your DNA will be spliced to that of a man and a pig. In the process, we will begin our march to control the world."

blue said...

come on honey & I'll show you what a bear does in the woods!

Submariner said...

Salmon carrion? You shouldn't have...

Submariner said...

C'mon, Honey; Dawn says there's a great sale at Old Navy.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

I'm white, you are black - maybe our cub will grow up to be a community organizer!

dadoctah said...

♪♫First you pick a rag♪♫
♫♪Put it in the bag♫♪
Bump, Bump!
♪♫Then you bend your back♪♫
♫♪Put it in the sack♫♪
Bump, Bump!
♪♫This is how it's done♪♫
♫♪It's a lot of fun♫♪
Bump, Bump!
♪♫Cuttin' capers♪♫
♫♪Puttin' papers in the bag!♫♪

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Leave me alone, Frank, I don't wanna hold hands!
C'mon, John, who's going to see us way out here? Aren't you a little bear-curious?

-OR-

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Here's the good stuff I promised. Hasn't been stepped on. Don't worry about paying me. Someday, I may ask for a favor. If you want more, Smokey Jr, I'll be down at the salmon stream.

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mega said...

Sex And The Farm, the highly anticipated spin off, dispensed entirely with the fifty year old sluts in favor of a more natural vibe.

Matt the K said...

Having grown up in a Southern forest, the cubs' mixed marriage was frowned upon.

molson said...

I'd hold your hand, but without that opposable thumb thing maybe you'd settle for a little hug instead.