Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Molotov C0cktease

Psonic Phrog, ironically enough


1. Think of this post as a dipstick to check our levels of Smelly Pirate Hooker captions.

2. "Told you she was fat. She done split the front of her outfit wide open." dub felt vindicated.

3. How nature says, "Here's $20, it's more than you're worth."

4. Chicago Bulls cheerleaders are Bad Ass in more ways than one.

5. The Breast Council has sponsored this ad to remind you that breasts exist.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
If the suit rips a little more, I;ll show you how to smoke this cigarette with my.....


Best of Army of Dad
Drew Barrymore is The Queen of Herpes, coming this summer.

Best of Submariner
Failed Ad Campaigns #3173:
Got Milk?

Best of blue
Does this eye patch make my butt look fat?

Best of dadoctah
"Hon? I'm just gonna give the sitter a ride home, if that's okay...."

Best of Jack Reacher
Stop; you had me at "In the park or in the car--twenty bucks either way."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Dr. Fistula picked the nurse's uniform to lessen anxiety among patients about to undergo colonoscopies and hernia exams.

Best of Vinney
Aaarrr, me hearties.

30 comments:

dub said...

It was a nice outfit until Shelly's gut split the middle open.

dub said...

Apparently not all black is slimming.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

if the suit rips a little more, I;ll show you how to smoke this cigarette with my.....

Army of Dad said...

Ginger pirate.

Army of Dad said...

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

Jay Guevara said...

"Mom, I'd like you to meet.."

Army of Dad said...

Drew Barrymore is The Queen of Herpes, coming this summer.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

If reviewers just skimmed revisionist character changes the way congress passes lobbyist crafted bills:
1. Peter Pan's nemesis might become a rather coarse Cap'n Hooker.
2. Dr. No gets a sex change and becomes Dr. No F'ing Way.
3. Joker could turn Batwoman into Bitchwoman the feminazi to spread herpes throughout Gotham.
4. The Pillsbury Doughboy becomes the Pasty Doughy Woman.
5. Bicycle playing cards might replace the Kings with Butch Queens (Q of Hearts shown)

-OR-

Clara discovered yet another way that smoking's hazardous to health and why moms always yell, "Don't run in the house with a pointed object cause you'll poke your eye out!"

-OR-

Drinking and Lawmaking don't mix! - After a night of heavy tax free ale drinking, the tiny PRINCIPALITY OF SEALAND's new charter called for a black, white and red national HAG instead of FLAG. Ooopsie.

Nearly lost my lunch, thought it was Thursday!

Submariner said...

Failed Ad Campaigns #3173:

Got Milk?

Submariner said...

Betcha AoM has this outfit in 2 different cami patterns.

blue said...

does this eye patch make my butt look fat?

Double the U said...

No-no, you are getting it wrong, I am staring at your breasts, not your heart.

Wesley M. said...

No one told the Russian inspector for the latest Nuclear Arms Reduction Treaty that she would have to smoke outside the ICBM silo...

Rodney Dill said...

AAAARRRR.....f

Submariner said...

Mulder giggled, "That was the 'Red SHOE Diaries,' Sully."

dadoctah said...

"Hon? I'm just gonna give the sitter a ride home, if that's okay...."

Spin said...

Oh baby, beat me like a redheaded stepchild.

Submariner said...

I wouldn't go after her; not because she's curvy but because she's got a big heart on.

Jack Reacher said...

Stop; you had me at "In the park or in the car--twenty bucks either way."

Jack Reacher said...

Looks like the Safe Schools Czar has his 2nd in command picked out.

Jack Reacher said...

Well blow me down, Matey.

Kaptain Krude said...

One wonders what she was doing so much of that she had to take a cigarette break from it.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Darla took a part-time job as a US census taker, the perfect cover for her "We Do You At Home" massage therapy enterprise.

-OR-

Dr. Fistula picked the nurse's uniform to lessen anxiety among patients about to undergo colonoscopies and hernia exams.

dadoctah said...

Took 'em long enough, but eHarmony.com finally found me a match!

racerboy said...

I can haz... moar body paint?

dub said...

ATDLE

(and then dawns leotard exploded)

Steve O said...

Chance of carrying Herpes ...around 86%.

Steve O said...

Right. Like we all wouldn't go for a ride.

Anonymous said...

Aaarrr, me hearties.

Vinney

curly said...

"...and so, you are zee super hero with zee very small penis? Well, I am zee superhero with zee sagging tits and zee flabby belly."