Friday, May 07, 2010

Job for a Cowboy

Brender
1. When will the New Village People stop holding auditions and finally tour?

2. Unfortunately, Fatima's decision to invite a stripper to her combination eight-grade-graduation/bachelorette party would lead to the honor killing of her entire class.

3. It's easy to stop the last few Bush holdovers in the State Department.

4. So, two cowboys, a Kabuki dancer, and 13 Muslim women walk into a bar... stop me if you've heard this before.

5. These non-denominational churches are just too weird for me.

Best of MKK
Nooooo dadblammit!!! I said the sheriff's a sand n****r!!!

Best of curly
To spice up after-life sex in paradise with his 72 virgins, former suicide bomber Abdrool’s role acting usually gravitates to that of gangsters or robbers.

Best of dub
Quit screwing around and fix my computer!

Best of Army of Dad
Very nice George Bush costume Achmed.

Best of Vinney
The uninformed Muslim crowd yelled, "Hey Slim, the burka goes on your head not your mouth."

Best of metalgarth
Demand was really high for the world's first Inflatable Pakistan Cowboy

Best of Submariner
"Blowing up the inflatable cowboy" held an entirely different meaning to Achmed the Jihadi...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"I'm an old cowhand, from the Rio Grande" - despite later success in Startrek and Stargate Atlantis, Robert Picardo's 20 Iraqi fans always ask for a reprise of Cowboy.

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
Acmed thought he found a loophole...for while the Koran bans gays, it does not seem to ban gay cowboys.

Best of Submariner
Minutes later, Betty White busted down the door, kicked ass, and DIDN'T take names.

Best of Matt the K
Threats aside, the local Taliban Sheriff could not scare the villagers into giving up the location of the elusive Orange Ceiling Snake.

Best of Matt the K
"Ahmed Wesley Hardin was so mean, he once shot a man just for bathing"

37 comments:

MKK said...

Nooooo dadblammit!!! I said the sheriff's a sand n****r!!!

Jack Reacher said...

"...that's 'cause we haven't played cowboys and Muslims yet." Oddly, Mike's joke fell flat.

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm from the Justice Department, and I'm here to read you your Miranda rights."

Jack Reacher said...

"Take the mask off, Tex. I thought you said sell ten BILLION shares of PG. Now look what's happened."

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm a racist, homophobic, violent Tea Partier. Yee ha!"
"Mr. Olbermann, you're on in twenty."
"Oops. Gotta go."

Anonymous said...

In an effort to stop the Earp brothers once and for all, the Clanton gang was seeking to become suicide bombers. It was Wild West Jihad"!

Vinney

curly said...

To spice up after-life sex in paradise with his 72 virgins, former suicide bomber Abdrool’s role acting usually gravitates to that of gangsters or robbers.

curly said...

Now that he has the crowd warmed up, Abdrool will up the ante by donning his exploding vest.

David said...

"I've just come from my ranch, where I've been punching cattle. And by 'punching', I mean 'screwing'."

dub said...

Cowboys and Indians...TO LITERUL

dub said...

Quit screwing around and fix my computer!

dub said...

"You will be excusing me while it is that out I whip this."

Bollywood fails on their Blazing Saddles re-do.

dub said...

Great...here comes a gay earthquake.

Army of Dad said...

♪..My name is Kid Iraq and I'm a cowboy baby..♪

Army of Dad said...

Oh I get it. He is from Pakistan and wants to play Cowboys and Indians.

Army of Dad said...

Very nice George Bush costume Achmed.

Rodney Dill said...

"Yep... I done shot Tonto... right after I found out what Kemosabe meant."

Silhouette said...

Yup ma'am. There's a new sharif in town.

Anonymous said...

The uninformed Muslim crowd yelled, "Hey Slim, the burka goes on your head not your mouth."

Vinney

metalgarth said...

Demand was really high for the world's first Inflatable Pakistan Cowboy

Adriane said...

Well to be pedantically correct, he is a 'sheepboy' ... but I'm not going there.

Kaptain Krude said...

I don't understand. I thought the world didn't want a cowboy President anymore.

Submariner said...

"Your money or your life" just didn't get the same results in Islamic countries.

Submariner said...

"Blowing up the inflatable cowboy" held an entirely different meaning to Achmed the Jihadi...

curly said...

Choose the correct answer and win a free iPad!

Abdrool’s Bush pantomime was easy to guess, but no one could figure out his Obama impersonation until he:

a. grabbed Achmed by the ass in a suggestive manner;
b. apologized to each and every person in the audience on behalf of Amerikkka;
c. condemned Amerikkkans as being hateful clingers.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"I'm an old cowhand, from the Rio Grande" - despite later success in Startrek and Stargate Atlantis, Robert Picardo's 20 Iraqi fans always ask for a reprise of Cowboy.

-OR-

Two birdwomen from Planet Ffrot^4 were so charming, the Iranians had no idea they were really there to harvest oil and fissionable materials. Next stop... the Gulf of Mexico.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad knew the stupid Americans had porous borders, but nobody dared tell him his plan to sneak across under cover of darkness and blend in with the locals needed updating.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Acmed thought he found a loophole...for while the Koran bans gays, it does not seem to ban gay cowboys.

dadoctah said...

We can get started as soon as the firetruck and the guy in the gorilla suit get here.

Submariner said...

Yippee-I-owe-yi-ay, Cow Patty.

Submariner said...

Minutes later, Betty White busted down the door, kicked ass, and DIDN'T take names.

Matt the K said...

Threats aside, the local Taliban Sheriff could not scare the villagers into giving up the location of the elusive Orange Ceiling Snake.

Matt the K said...

How the West Bank Was Not Won.

Matt the K said...

The remake of West World just doesn't have the same 'oomph' as the original...

Matt the K said...

“I haven’t lost my temper in 40 years; but, Pilgrim to Mecca, you caused a lot of trouble this morning; might have got somebody killed; and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won’t. I won’t. The hell I won’t!”

Habib Wayne delivers his trademark line.

Matt the K said...

"Ahmed Wesley Hardin was so mean, he once shot a man just for bathing"

sonicfrog said...

How people react when Sonicfrog sings...