1. "Huh huh huh. Huh Huh huh. This desk is on my butt. Huh huh huh!"
2. "It's Chris Matthews's birthday. Send him a signed copy of How to Make Love to a Black Man."
3. The Gulf is filled with oil, Nashville is under eight feet of water, and all the president does is play "Invisible Limbo Pole."
4. "And I was thinking, maybe I should take responsibility this time instead of blaming Bush. ... Hahahahahaha! Just kidding! Damn, Axelrod, did you crap your pants?"
5. "I didn't get an 'Allahu Akbar!' out of that man!"
Best of HLam
"Damn it Rahm. If one drop of apple juice soils this rug after Sasha and Malia cleaned it you'll be fired. Why do you think I levitated over it to the desk?"
Best of Submariner
Weeeelllllll, if you're both SURE I can't get Ward Churchill through, let's go with that Kagan broad...
Best of dub
Not to be outdone by anyone, Barry orders the most extravagant presidential toilet ever.
Best of molson
Who's up for a Hot Karl?
Threadwinner: Jay Guevara
"Fifty? No sh!t? You're sure?"
Best of GregMan
"I know, let's nominate a fat ugly bull-dyke to the Supreme Court!"
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
..look, you 2 honkeys better learn how to do the hand jive or else you are out of here!
Best of Rodney Dill
"OK, so the damage done, Elena's been named, but I wanna change my nominee to Betty White... She's popular and I really need a win on this."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Rahm, I'm going to need you to Google 'Removing Super Glue from pants and desk.' Just do it!"
Best of Army of Dad
Rahm: Mr. President, that isn't the copier.
Best of Eric
Only opinions on the palm side of my hand will be forced on congress.
Best of dadoctah
"Careful! The floor is lava!"
Best of Mr Hankey
As I am no fool, I can definitely see this wonderful clothing you are holding up and will gladly wear it in tomorrow's parade.