Wednesday, May 05, 2010

How to tell when you're really really stoned

Matt

1. What critics took for performance art was actually just Yoko Ono's advancing senility.

2. Um, mom... none of those things is actually going to help your glaucoma.

3. Tonight on the E! Celebrity Cautionary Example: Margaret Cho.

4. Ming Lee was beginning to suspect her optometrist was a quack.

5. "Keith Olbermann makes so much more sense when you're on mescaline."

Best of Submariner
7:23 am, teacher's lounge, Ward Churchill Elementary.

Best of curly
My new crack-goggles and -earphones make watching CNN a snap!

Best of Mr Hankey
New White House interns are having to be even more inventive with their use of cigars.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Blow it out your ear!"

Best of dub
Sadly this seems to be one of the few ways we get to see a smoking woman on here.

Best of Double the U
...and with that Gertrude became the oldest member of the sorority.

Best of Army of Dad
♪.."Smoking in the nail salon and they are smoking in the laundry too"..♪

Best of Matt the K
George Michael was a bit disappointed when his Google search for "Smokin' hot nuts in the eye, fag in the ear" came up with this.


31 comments:

Anonymous said...

And what we see is just above her waist.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

And what we see is just above her waist.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

And what we see is just above her waist.

Vinney

Army of Dad said...

Towlie approves.

Submariner said...

Nothin'
Nothin'
Jus' burnin' the doobie at both ends, havin' a Bud.
You?

Submariner said...

7:23 am, teacher's lounge, Ward Churchill Elementary.

Submariner said...

Shortly thereafter, Grandma got run over by a John Deere.

Submariner said...

"Sorry; Obamacare still doesn't make sense."

"Start the Methadone drip."

Army of Dad said...

Medical marijuana gets weird.

HLam said...

The first time Kim Kim refused dear leader he plucked out her left eye. After that Kim Kim was more than happy to be dear leader's ashtray.

Capt. Queeg said...

♪.."They said someday you'll find
All who love are blind
Oh, when your heart's on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes"..♪

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "Got a good seat. Good thing I got here for the Obama rally."

curly said...

Mind if I smoke?

curly said...

Unfortunately, the rumors that smoking will keep ultra-liberal moonbat Obama supporters at bay were recently disproven.

curly said...

Since Bob’s sex change operation didn’t provide the plumbing necessary for spontaneous queef production, his new Mary persona overcompensates by continuously burning tuna incense.

curly said...

My new crack-goggles and -earphones make watching CNN a snap!

Mr Hankey said...

New White House interns are having to be even more inventive with their use of cigars.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Smoking shortens life. Being smoked extends the shelflife of salmon and trout. Why can't the FDA get this straight?

-OR-

Little Known Cigar Factoid:
Ear candling has been debunked, but Chinese cigar manufacturers are hiring gullible fans of the practice to put waxy/plastic tips on cheap smokes.

-OR-

"Blow it out your ear!"

dub said...

best.bong.ever.

dub said...

best.medical.marijuana.card.ever

dub said...

Sadly this seems to be one of the few ways we get to see a smoking woman on here.

dub said...

^ that one works better with "smokin" instead of "smoking". Fail.

Double the U said...

...and with that Gertrude became the oldest member of the sorority.

Army of Dad said...

♪.."Smoking in the nail salon and they are smoking in the laundry too"..♪

Army of Dad said...

"Doctor doctor, Mr. MD, can you tell me, what's burning on me?"

Army of Dad said...

Phong Lee was incensed by the new anti-immigrant law in Arizona.

dadoctah said...

It's a new treatment for certain--er--*chronic* conditions.

Matt the K said...

Who knew that Xian Shen's 'Happy Lucky Son-in-Law Repellent' would sell like hotcakes?

Matt the K said...

George Michael was a bit disappointed when his Google search for "Smokin' hot nuts in the eye, fag in the ear" came up with this.

Targetpractice said...

And here, we get a behind the scenes look at the drafting of the new Financial Reform bill.

Targetpractice said...

How to speak Australian: "Multi-tasking."