Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Flipper the Baby Daddy

Matt

1. Combining the progressive left's two biggest fetishes --- sea mammals and abortions --- Sea World made a fortune.

2. The ObamaCare Federal Health Care Board determined that billions could be saved by replacing ultrasounds with dolphin encounters.

3. Flipper enjoyed the woman's attention, but Dubber wouldn't go anywhere near her.

4. "Don't be afraid, Thing, it's just a friendly dolphin."

5. ORA: "Fa find Bea. Make Bea pay Child Support now!"


Best of dub
Flipper thought bubble "hey... her crotch smells like my cousin".

Best of Submariner
Flipper was confused; he had done the trick perfectly - why was the trainer not giving him that succulent herring she was obviously hiding?

Best of Jay Guevara
"Was your pregnancy an accident?"
"No. I did it on porpoise."

Best of dadoctah
Teaching Smiley to knock a beach-ball into the air with his snout turned out to have unfortunate consequences.

Best of GregMan
Psychiatrists never figured out why, but Becky's son's fear of fish, men with long noses, and water never left him as long as he lived.

Best of Double the U
Fat, pregnant, fat, fat, fat, pregnant, fat... those highly intelligent dolphins guessed correctly every time.

Best of Submariner
Mrs. Paul? Nooooooooooooooooo!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Baby's First Words - "Will someone answer the damn phone? Make the ringing stop!"

Best of curly
"What is it Flipper? You say Obama’s purposely destroying the nation’s economy by the quantitative easing of his massive national debt spending in order to create Weimar Republic styled hyper inflation, so that we might all become enslaved to a new socialist One World government?”

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Flipper was guite the stud. He wanted to know if Sally was a real blonde.

Vinney

dub said...

Um, Flipper....wrong hole.

dub said...

Flipper thought bubble "hey... her crotch smells like my cousin".

Submariner said...

Flipper was confused; he had done the trick perfectly - why was the trainer not giving him that succulent herring she was obviously hiding?

Submariner said...

Obamacare institutes new labor inducing techniques.

curly said...

"Don't worry about our love child running for president in the future, Flipper. No one will ask for his birth certificate."

curly said...

How cute! Flipper LOVES my queefs!

Jay Guevara said...

"By the power vested in me by Sea World, I now pronounce you ...uh...dolphin and wife."

Jay Guevara said...

"Was your pregnancy an accident?"

"No. I did it on porpoise."

dadoctah said...

Teaching Smiley to knock a beach-ball into the air with his snout turned out to have unfortunate consequences.

Army of Dad said...

It's pod people!

Army of Dad said...

It isn't that weird-she has a blow hole too!

GregMan said...

Psychiatrists never figured out why, but Becky's son's fear of fish, men with long noses, and water never left him as long as he lived.

GregMan said...

Figuring a you can never start a good thing too early, the Obamessiah extended Pre-K Sex Ed to Pre-Natal Sex Ed.

GregMan said...

High School Biology after the Safe Schools Czar took over was an unholy thing.

mpur said...

And they told me you could not get pregnant by swimming in a public pool.

Double the U said...

Fat, pregnant, fat, fat, fat, pregnant, fat... those highly intelligent dolphins guessed correctly every time.

Matt the K said...

The porno remake of "Cocoon" was really rather disturbing.

Submariner said...

Thrillian and the 2nd most intelligent being on Earth (n-1) settled down in faux-Mazatlan to enjoy tropcal afternoons.

Submariner said...

>snicker<
Mom's had this outfit three times.

Submariner said...

Flipper's thought bubble; "Gaia! I think I see the head!"

Submariner said...

Flipper's thought bubble; "I guess it wasn't the incredible Mr. LIMPet she fiddled around with."

Submariner said...

"Eek click cliiiiick whee eek-eek-eek, Clickity snicker ickety eek!"



Translation: "You'd have been better off sucking Mike Nelson's respirator, girlie."

Submariner said...

...and after you've spawned, there's a pole dancing position open at the Sea World Day Care, toots.

Mr Hankey said...

The Incredible Mr Limpet visits the family.

Submariner said...

Mrs. Paul? Nooooooooooooooooo!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

If the medical community thought the controversy over ultrasounds was bad, a sudden increase in babies with tinnitus after foetal encounters with porpoises isn't going to help.

-OR-

Baby's First Words - "Will someone answer the damn phone? Make the ringing stop!"

sonicfrog said...

Obamacare institutes new sonogram imaging techniques....

curly said...

“What is it Flipper? You say Obama’s purposely destroying the nation’s economy by the quantitative easing of his massive national debt spending in order to create Weimar Republic styled hyper inflation, so that we might all become enslaved to a new socialist One World government?”