Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Delightfully Dreadful


1. M'Chel's childhood obesity initiative was dealt a mild setback when "Greenie, the Healthy Vegetable" Mascot was found to be a convicted sex offender.

2. Due to notoriety, the Safe School Czar must resort to elaborate disguises when he goes on a date.

3. The New Religion of Gaia found that, with the right costumes, child sacrifice could be a festive occasion.

4. "Leaf him alone!" (I had to say it, or Rodney Dill would have.)

5. In Soviet Russia, vegetables molest you!

Best of Rodney Dill
Boston Strangler remake starring Arte Choke.

Best of dub
Little Timmy thought he was doing a good Michael Jackson impersonation with his cheesy jacket. He had no idea that Arte Choke was about to trump that impersonation in a big way....

Best of Rodney Dill
Judge: "Bay leaf... restrain that child."

Best of Jack Reacher
Sprouts and ginger.

Threadwinner: Spin
♪♫ Crimson and Clover, over and over ♪♫

Best of Submariner
Hey kid; come with me over to the hidden valley and I'll give you a taste of some "creamy ranch" that you'll never forget.

Best of dub
When Timmy offered to toss his salad, he had no idea what he was in for.

Best of molson
It's a vegetable? Well it acts more like a fruit.

Best of Wesley M.
Blissfully unaware of the approaching "teachable moment" with First Lady Michelle Obama's Task Force on Childhood Obesity, young Timmy enjoys the final pre-therapy momentof his life...

Best of dadoctah
"...and then the scary mascot came up behind me and made me touch his niblets!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
Little Scott slowly felt ennui creeping up on him.

41 comments:

sonicfrog said...

Suspected child molester Green M&M finally shows his true colors... and form.

Rodney Dill said...

"Leaf him alone!" (I had to say it, or Rodney Dill would have.)
I actually thought of "Leave Me Alone" before I read your number 4.

Rodney Dill said...

Make like a tree, and get outta here.

Submariner said...

Is that Rodney's Dill sticking out down there, or are you just happy to see that li'l red sprout?

Submariner said...

A life-long aversion to fruits and vegetables begins in 3... 2... 1...

Submariner said...

Pimps were a bit different in the "Valley of the Jolly, Ho, Ho, Ho; Green Giant."

Submariner said...

I TOLD the "Veggie Tales" animators not to let Ang Lee shoot a live action episode, but would they listen? Noooooooo...

dub said...

What's that little boy? You dont like to eat your vegetables? Well, you're gonna hate what's cumming next.

dub said...

If you dont want some soylent green, then tug my "sprout" once.

If you DO want some, then tug it 100 times.

Rodney Dill said...

Is that Rodney's Dill sticking out down there, or are you just happy to see that li'l red sprout?

Stop Gherkin me around

Rodney Dill said...

Count Arugula and the 11.4 trillion dollar national debt

Rodney Dill said...

Boston Strangler remake starring Arte Choke.

dub said...

Hey little boy, wanna see where creamed corn comes from?

Rodney Dill said...

Peapud

Rodney Dill said...

Attempting a grab from behind with the old Hemlock maneuver.

dub said...

Hey Kobe, I'm open!

dub said...

Little Timmy thought he was doing a good Michael Jackson impersonation with his cheesy jacket. He had no idea that Arte Choke was about to trump that impersonation in a big way....

dub said...

In Enumclaw, VegeTales was replaced by PedoVeges.

Rodney Dill said...

Darth Deciduous: Bud... I am your father.

Rodney Dill said...

I am the Gore-ax I speak for the trees.

Rodney Dill said...

Judge: "Bay leaf... restrain that child."

Rodney Dill said...

Worst.Lady Gaga.costume.ever

Jack Reacher said...

Sprouts and ginger.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obscene as it looks, it coulda been worse. The wardrobe seamstress was a classical realism aficionado who wanted sap dripping from the leaf petiole.

-OR-

Wardrobe Malfunction meets Viagra
Everyone knows Arte "forgets" his jockstrap just to show off.

Submariner said...

Tell me Joey; have you ever contracted Dutch Elm Disease?

Submariner said...

Funny; I pictured Mohammed and Aisha a bit differently...

Spin said...

♪♫ Crimson and Clover, over and over ♪♫

dadoctah said...

Worst. Superhero. Ever.

Rodney Dill said...

When in Rome, do what the Romaines do.

Anonymous said...

"Hey Johnnie, you've seen salad dressing. I bet you've never seen salad undressing. Come here, kid."

Vinney

Submariner said...

Hey kid; come with me over to the hidden valley and I'll give you a taste of some "creamy ranch" that you'll never forget.

Rodney Dill said...

Just one "Jolly Ho Ho Ho" and Imus was in trouble... again...

dub said...

Hey kid, wanna see my acorns?

dub said...

When Timmy offered to toss his salad, he had no idea what he was in for.

Mr. Hankey said...

A bail-out is in the works after the Obama administration replaces all characters at DisneyWorld with new healthy eating idiots.

molson said...

It's a vegetable? Well it acts more like a fruit.

Wesley M. said...

Blissfully unaware of the approaching "teachable moment" with First Lady Michelle Obama's Task Force on Childhood Obesity, young Timmy enjoys the final pre-therapy momentof his life...

Wesley M. said...

"Hey, Kid! Do you know if I'm supposed to hawking organic food or green energy today? I can't keep it all straight anymore!"

dadoctah said...

"...and then the scary mascot came up behind me and made me touch his niblets!"

dadoctah said...

The warning signs had been there all along, if only someone had thought to ask Timmy to *describe* his imaginary friend.

wv: codrogr. Fish sticks endorsed by the B-52's.

Kaptain Krude said...

Little Scott slowly felt ennui creeping up on him.