Monday, May 24, 2010

The Children's Hour

Brender

1. "Really? You want us to be the 'main event' at the Annual Idi Amin Memorial Dinner? What an honor!"

2. "The Safe Schools Czar? He's in the broom closet giving the boys crotch-lice inspections."

3. "Thanks for decapitating our teacher with your b'ath leth, M'Chel. I guess that counter-revolutionary capitalist whore got what was coming to her!"

4. When M'Chel thought of the hollowed-out shell of a country she and her husband would leave to the little brats, she couldn't help but smile.

5. "When I find out which of you little petaQs glued Lucky Charms to my Tiffany necklace, I'll rip out your still-beating heart and eat it while you watch!"

Best of curly
“Dude, I told you watching Barney on acid was a bummer!”

Best of Jack Reacher
"Miss Jones? The children have informed me of your, ah, unhelpful statements regarding the administration. Those men in back will need to speak with you. You can leave your things here."

Best of dub
Lazyeyesayswhat?

Best of GregMan
Hey look, another picture of that disgusting rodent from the White House.

Best of divine miss m
Getting a lot of mileage out of Standard Cap # 666 this week, aren't we?!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Why is it that some people simply refuse to take down the christmas decorations after the holidays?

Best of dub
I'm sorry Ms. Jolie, you can only adopt the little ones.

Best of dadoctah
"I asked for a photo op, not a freakin' Benetton ad!"

Best of Dactyl
Once again, M'Chel's eyes would prove to be bigger than her stomach.

Best of Submariner
The only chance you have against a T Rex is to stay absolutely motionless so as not to draw its keen-eyed attention.

Best of prince of leaves
Carlos' good math scores may have gotten him onto the stage with the First Lady, but Tiffany's "Condom Rainbow" collage got her first position in the pecking order.

Best of metalgarth
Living proof that Mr. Burns has some very "excellent" Jungle Fever back in the 1960s

Best of Mr. Hankey
"I'm here to read "The Pet Goat" to the class while your country is attacked....I mean liberated."

Best of mega
"Alpha, may I eat the white child?"

31 comments:

curly said...

“Dude, I told you watching Barney on acid was a bummer!”

curly said...

Just what we need, another kids' show featuring a purple monster.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Pablo's face assumed a rictus of terror as the Frist Lady explained that due to classroom overcrowding, students number 26 through 35 would be sold for biological experiments.

Jack Reacher said...

Curly gets Threadwinner in one. Bravo.

Jack Reacher said...

"Miss Jones? The children have informed me of your, ah, unhelpful statements regarding the administration. Those men in back will need to speak with you. You can leave your things here."

Jack Reacher said...

Coming to NBC this fall: "Survivor, Young Revolutionary Edition."

dub said...

Lazyeyesayswhat?

HLam said...

Little girl to the tall Redwood: "Geez, what is that smell? Can you hang one of those Christmas Tree deodorizers down here please?"

molson said...

With the debt we're saddling you with, you kids will be lucky to eat out of a garbage can.

GregMan said...

Hey look, another picture of that disgusting rodent from the White House.

GregMan said...

Timmy warned Lisa, "That's right, just keep smiling up at it, and for Allah's sake don't do anything to startle it!"

GregMan said...

M'chelle thought, "Yes, these two will go very nicely with the sweet potato from my phoney White House garden!"

divine miss m said...

Getting a lot of mileage out of Standard Cap # 666 this week, aren't we?!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Why is it that some people simply refuse to take down the christmas decorations after the holidays?


WordVerify: dermisms - the witty comments made by plastic surgeons about ugly and fat patients while they're under anesthesia

dub said...

I'm sorry Ms. Jolie, you can only adopt the little ones.

dadoctah said...

"I asked for a photo op, not a freakin' Benetton ad!"

Dactyl said...

Once again, M'Chel's eyes would prove to be bigger than her stomach.

Submariner said...

"The damned First Predator is eating all the best children AGAIN!" the Secretary of State whined.

Submariner said...

S.l.o.w.l.y back out of its way, Tyrone. Its got its eye on Typhanie...

Submariner said...

"Shi-ite; that ain't no beat-down, boy. Lemme show you how it's done, Chicago-style..."

Submariner said...

The only chance you have against a T Rex is to stay absolutely motionless so as not to draw its keen-eyed attention.

Jurassic Park Primer.

prince of leaves said...

Carlos' good math scores may have gotten him onto the stage with the First Lady, but Tiffany's "Condom Rainbow" collage got her first position in the pecking order.

prince of leaves said...

"Wait...what? These kids voted for *who* in the 2008 mock election...?"

metalgarth said...

Living proof that Mr. Burns has some very "excellent" Jungle Fever back in the 1960s

Anonymous said...

A very savy Tommy snidely remarked, "Gee Shaneeka, I'll bet Oprah would love to trade places with you right now."

Vinney

Mr. Hankey said...

So in our new economy - Roberto & Shaniqua here represent the workers that the rest of you will exploit.

Mr. Hankey said...

"I'm here to read "The Pet Goat" to the class while your country is attacked....I mean liberated."

mega said...

"Alpha, may I eat the white child?"

Submariner said...

You're so precious - I could just eat you up.
Seriously.

blue said...

"Why does Mrs. Barney call us LunchMeat?"

Censors Hip said...

is it just me or does it look like M'Chel needs Depends?????