1. "I found your golf ball... its down here next to a baby alligator and the Democrat Party's ethics."
2. Every night, Andrew Sullivan's proctologist awoke from the same nightmare.
3. Apathetic New Yorkers barely notice as the CHUD's drag another pedestrian to a horrible death.
4. "CNN's ratings have to be around here somewhere."
5. "I've never seen a man rip off a sewer grate just to vomit before ... of course, he did just see Rosie O'Donnell in a thong."
Best of mega
"Hey down there...the LGF domain name renewal is due. You got 10 days to pay, buddy."
Best of Vinney
After watching Keith Olbermann, Ted needed to clear his head-quickly.
Best of dub
Andrew Sullivan's search for "man holes" returned disappointing results.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Canadian border patrol examining tunnels where illegal Americans are crossing the border in search of gainful employment.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Here he is, guys! Hey, Rand Paul! We have a few more questions about the Civil Rights Act!"
Best of Steve O
Another Communications major enters the workforce.
Best of sonicfrog
Hey, that's Chris Mathews looking for Obama's approval ratings.
Best of curly
“Mr. Oberman, please come out! It’s time for your meds…”
Best of dadoctah
"Oh my god. It's full of stars."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Rookie firemen always fall for the "turn on the fire hydrants" command.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Betty White? Damn, you keep popping up everywhere."
Best of Matt the K
Lawrence always picked the worst places to lay down his breakdance mats.