Friday, May 21, 2010

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Al

1. Yogi had himself declared an illegal immigrant and sued Jellystone Park for harassment. Now, the Ranger has to bring *him* the pickanick basket.

2. "No, seriously, when do we eat?"

3. "Happiness, you are like the salmon in the stream, forever slipping out of my paws. Oh, ennui!"

4. When Andrew Sullivan went to meet a "bi ol' horny bear" at the rest area on the Jersey turnpike, he had expected something different. Not better, just different.

5. "Hey! Hurry up with that pickanick basket! I got to get back to Wall Street as soon as the New Financial Regulations kick in."

Best of dadoctah
Looks like my employer has outsourced the annual performance reviews.

Best of Vinney
"Hey people, I just ate Andrew Zimmern. Kosher and a bit gamey but not bad."

Best of dub
Another fine example of the Pacific Northwest African American Bear.

Best of Adriane
Why do people keep askin' me about a Man and a Pig?

Best of Submariner
Despite the picture that USC players always paint, I find most Cal linemen to be well behaved.

Best of sonicfrog
Of course, the bear won't admit it, but he is sulking and a little jealous that that rat got some on-camera time with the President and he didn't.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
After Ed took this cute photo, his nagging bitch wife yelled at the bear to get its elbows off the table. Next year, Ed will be enjoying a singles cruise in the Bahamas.

Best of blue
And for desert I will that that Somalian kid with the 3 fish


Best of curly
"I gotta take a shit but I'm waitin' for the Pope to finish up."

Best of Spin
Why yes, that device to my left is were I shit.

Best of curly
“Goldilocks and Mama Bear kicked me and Baby Bear out, became hardcore lesbian activists, and are now living in Enumclaw.”

26 comments:

dadoctah said...

Looks like my employer has outsourced the annual performance reviews.

Anonymous said...

"Hey people, I just ate Andrew Zimmern. Kosher and a bit gamey but not bad."

Vinney

dub said...

Another fine example of the Pacific Northwest African American Bear.

dub said...

Where da white campers at?

Adriane said...

Why do people keep askin' me about a Man and a Pig?

Rodney Dill said...

Does a bear sit in the woods?

Submariner said...

Dear Lord; for the camper I'm about to eat, I thank Thee. Amen.

Submariner said...

Gimme sum, Honey?

Submariner said...

Despite the picture that USC players always paint, I find most Cal linemen to be well behaved.

Submariner said...

Yeah, baby; this table should be sturdy enough for us.

Submariner said...

Him? I'm fattening him up enough to cover the hole in the carpet in front of my fireplace...

sonicfrog said...

ORA: Where is your invitation, Senor Beaver?

sonicfrog said...

Of course, the bear won't admit it, but he is sulking and a little jealous that that rat got some on-camera time with the President and he didn't.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

After Ed took this cute photo, his nagging bitch wife yelled at the bear to get its elbows off the table. Next year, Ed will be enjoying a singles cruise in the Bahamas.

-OR-

Thawtballoon of a brown-nose bear: You look beautiful tonight, baby, and something smells great, so what's fer supper?

-OR-

ORDER! ORDER! We're here to discuss non-violent options for chasing off tourists! Ripping their heads off and rolling them down the road may sound like fun, Howard, but it tends to make park rangers a bit peevish. Remember last time?

Passionate Conservative said...

Michelle Obama didn't want to wait to be seated at the picnic.

blue said...

and for desert I will that that Somalian kid with the 3 fish

curly said...

"I gotta take a shit but I'm waitin' for the Pope to finish up."

Submariner said...

Not-so-ORA:


Whoa; Kellerman's has really fallen on hard times.

Spin said...

Why yes, that device to my left is were I shit.

Chevy Rose said...

The "Bears" are ready to bargain terms with "O" for effective border control in Arizona. Honeycomb was substituted for beer.

molson said...

I think I will be having bagels and Goldilocks for breakfast today.

curly said...

Camping with my wife can be a real bear before she gets her first cup of coffee.

curly said...

“Goldilocks and Mama Bear kicked me and Baby Bear out, became hardcore lesbian activists, and are now living in Enumclaw.”

curly said...

Elena Kagan’s interpretation of the right to bear arms.

dadoctah said...

E! True Hollywood Story: What Really Happened to Christopher Robin.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Jeez, Ethel, don't tell me we're out of H - O - T - D - O - G - S!!! This thing still looks hungry and the warden said humans can't outrun them!
What do you mean, you only have to run faster than me!?!

-OR-

Don't leave, Clyde. Seriously, I've seen it work hundreds of times with tourists. A dude sits at one of these tables, and a woman actually serves him food! Let's give it some more time.