Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Baby on Bored

Knowledge Is Power


1. "Should his feet be blue? Does anybody have a baby book?"

2. The 'Guantanamo Bay' line of accessories for hideously ugly babies found a strong niche following.

3. "It's still squirming. Tighten the straps!"

4. "Wouldn't it be aster to just strap him into the car seat and roll the Lexus into a lake... you know, solve two financial problems at one?"

5. "Can you believe the wife wanted to waste $200 on parenting classes?"

Best of dub
I dont care how you accessorize it....conjoined twins freak me out.

Best of David
*muffled* "Start the reactor. Free Mars..."

Best of Jack Reacher
"The guy who sold it to me said something about air holes. I'll read the manual tonight to see what he was talking about."

Best of dadoctah
A chilling smile spread across Stewie's face as he finally located the ganglion that would allow him to control his host's higher motor functions.

Best of Julie the Jarhead
Baby-as-chick-magnet: FAIL.

17 comments:

dub said...

Not to be outdone by South Park, V teh K cleverly posts a picture of Mohammed inside a backpack.

dub said...

I dont care how you accessorize it....conjoined twins freak me out.

David said...

*muffled* "Start the reactor. Free Mars..."

dub said...

Oops, crapped my backpack.

GregMan said...

Little Timmy really hated "BDSM Day" at his Obamessiah-mandated Pre-K Sex Ed class.

GregMan said...

Ahmed hit upon the perfect way to carry around his wife Fatima and cover her in a baby-burka at the same time.

Jack Reacher said...

"So I said 'you watch the baby. I'm going backpacking.' Then I left. Shows you who wears the pants at my house."

Jack Reacher said...

"The guy who sold it to me said something about air holes. I'll read the manual tonight to see what he was talking about."

dadoctah said...

With the vestigial second pair of legs projecting from his back, Dennis turned heads wherever he went.

dadoctah said...

A chilling smile spread across Stewie's face as he finally located the ganglion that would allow him to control his host's higher motor functions.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Television market researchers quickly determined that the original idea for Stargate's parasitic Goa'uld only scared fathers-to-be.

-OR-

Before his dismissal, the zoo director felt it was a hoot to shave a sloth's legs and walk around upsetting park patrons.

Eric said...

With the newest model taliban "simulated baby on back suicide back pack", Omar Akballa Akakakakabur, walked among the inhabitants of the great satan as they giggled at his ineptitude at parenting skills.

dub said...

Hold still...I should be able to burn it out with a match....


wv: dacat...I dont think that's what's in there.

dadoctah said...

"Hmmm, now where did I leave my lunch?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

People hectored timid Sherman about having no backbone. He made the mistake of choosing a cheap Tijuana clinic to perform an experimental operation. Now he's really got a monkey on his back.

WordVerify: billooty - term used to descibe all the spurious fees fatcat bankers pile on customers to make it appear banks "earn" money.

Julie the Jarhead said...

Baby-as-chick-magnet: FAIL.

Anonymous said...

"Annie, I think we have a problem. Your son has an erection."

Vinney