Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The President Meets the Mayor of Canada

The Anchoress

1. "C'mon! This is one of my Holy Boogers. Katie Couric would give her left testicle for one of these."

2. "Does this look infected?"

3. "And yesterday some skinny white boys were standing on top of a slag heap pointing... like this. I didn't get that one either."

4. "Yo, Steve. My eyes are up here."

5. Everyone was amazed at Obama's ability to lecture for 54 minutes, off-TelePrompter on the topic of prostate massage.

Best of Vinney
"The next time we have to talk about this I'll have Rahm Emmanuel poke his finger at you while naked. Is that gay enough for you? Humm."

Best of Rodney Dill
Steve waits anxiously, knowing that Obama will eventually relent and bow to him too.

Best of Army of Dad
"Bad Canadian, Bad. Next time you poop on my carpet I will um, have to rub your nose in it!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Obama poses for the re-painting of the Sistine Chapel.

Best of Maogwai
"You are white, you must bow to ME".

Best of Wesley M.
"...and stop referring to those French fries topped with cheese curd and brown gravy as poutine! You're causing an unhelpful international incident with each bowl!"

Best of Submariner
Don't even THINK about running for Governor of New York!

Best of Jay Guevara
"I didn't hear a harrumph out of you!"

Best of Targetpractice
I am the Messiah! The greatest president in US history! YOU WILL PULL MY FINGER!

Best of Submariner
What exactly did you mean by sending davenport material to my wife and suggesting she "make another dress?"

Best of andthenblammo!
"I, um, I love hockey. The Chicago Blankhawks were my favorite, uh, hockey team. I thought Ron Santo was the greatest center ever!"

Best of Dactyl
Yo, can you explain curling to me?

Best of Double the U
I was wondering if you could stop sending all that cold air down from Canada in the winter.

Best of Steve O
Enzyte!

Best of mega
"I was supposed to get a 10 point bump after I copied your stupid-ass health care system, cracker."

51 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mother May I?
Harper: Good boy! Now, lower your right arm, lift your left leg and rub your tummy.

Anonymous said...

"And if you don't support my proposal we are not going to let your people come to the US for medical procedures. Oh, and another thing, we're taking the Toronto Blue Jays back."

Vinney

Capt. Queeg said...

"...and in 1961, I was born riight about here..."

Anonymous said...

"The next time we have to talk about this I'll have Rahm Emmanuel poke his finger at you while naked. Is that gay enough for you? Humm."

Vinney

Rodney Dill said...

Steve waits anxiously, knowing that Obama will eventually relent and bow to him too.

Rodney Dill said...

Pull my finger.

Army of Dad said...

"Bad Canadian, Bad. Next time you poop on my carpet I will um, have to rub your nose in it!"

Army of Dad said...

"I want YOU to help fuck up our economy!"

Army of Dad said...

"...and here we have a typical white grandfather..."

Army of Dad said...

Canadian thought bubble: Look, another alien trying to phone home.

Army of Dad said...

Much to the press' surprise wet willies are not good for international diplomacy.

Mr. Hankey said...

Obama wows the audience with his shadow puppet show.

Mr. Hankey said...

Obama poses for the re-painting of the Sistine Chapel.

Mr. Hankey said...

...and just remember what happened in Poland...

Maogwai said...

"You are white, you must bow to ME".

Wesley M. said...

"...and stop referring to those French fries topped with cheese curd and brown gravy as poutine! You're causing an unhelpful international incident with each bowl!"

blue said...

...and why do they call Canada America's hat??? I don't get it....

Submariner said...

Don't even THINK about running for Governor of New York!

Jay Guevara said...

"I didn't hear a harrumph out of you!"

Jay Guevara said...

"I got a bone to pick with you. And I hope you speak American, because I don't speak Canadian."

Jay Guevara said...

Harper thought bubble: "Three hundred million people to choose from in America - and another 200 million in Indonesia - and this was the best they could come up with?"

Achilles said...

The Nuclear Arms Summit Logo does NOT look like an Islamic Crescent!

Targetpractice said...

I am the Messiah! The greatest president in US history! YOU WILL PULL MY FINGER!

Jay Guevara said...

"I don't want to hear any more 'Michelle' jokes from you!"

Submariner said...

We'll eliminate 3500 metric tons of weapons grade plutonium if HE'LL do the Hokey Pokey...

Submariner said...

Him! Harper has the dog crap on his shoe.

jj said...

Did you bring any table dancers?

Submariner said...

What exactly did you mean by sending davenport material to my wife and suggesting she "make another dress?"

jj said...

How can you call it Hockey Night in Canada when some of the games are played in the US. You do know that there are 57 of em?

mpur said...

Harper: God, I miss Bush!

dadoctah said...

"Mmm'kay, so if you could just put the cover pages on your TPS reports from now on, that'd be gre-e-eat...."

dadoctah said...

"There's *PUMAS* in those cravices!" Barry and Steve knock the press correspondents dead with a routine from the early sixties.

Jay Guevara said...

"And _another_ thing..."

Jay Guevara said...

"Oh yeah? How many Nobel Peace Prizes have you won? Huh? Huh?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Hey, it wasn't a 'girly throw.' Zimmerman called for a pitchout-beanball-change-up, OK?"

Submariner said...

"I, um, think that, uhhhh, Adam Dunn is on first. Why, um, do you, uhhh, ask?"

The One proves that Community Organizing was a far better career choice than comedy.

andthenblammo! said...

"Right about here, this is where my half-brother lives in a Viking refrigerator crate. Mr. 'Always Tell The Truth'. What a chump. I'm eating a waygu steak in his memory tonight!"

andthenblammo! said...

"I don't believe it. YOU'RE Ace from Ace of Spades HQ?????"

andthenblammo! said...

"Take it off! No, uh, you take it off! Hoosier! Hoosierhead! Uh, you're not laughing, haven't I got that bit right?"

andthenblammo! said...

"I, um, I love hockey. The Chicago Blankhawks were my favorite, uh, hockey team. I thought Ron Santo was the greatest center ever!"

Dactyl said...

You Canadians are our upstairs neighbors, right? Cause I wish you would keep it down up there.

(WV: upinnugh, which made me think of this)

Dactyl said...

I'm a little teapot FAIL

Dactyl said...

Yo, can you explain curling to me?

molson said...

You gonna eat that booger?

blue said...

OK bend over, I am Dr ObamaCare & it is time for Canada's physical

metalgarth said...

In the alternate universe where Homer Simpson died grabbing two high voltage wires, Frank Grimes' life wasn't much better because of Carl's "reign of terror"

Submariner said...

Who's yo daddy, biyatch?

Double the U said...

I was wondering if you could stop sending all that cold air down from Canada in the winter.

Steve O said...

"Boom goes the dynamite!"

-- okay, who remembers that one.

Steve O said...

Enzyte!

mega said...

"I was supposed to get a 10 point bump after I copied your stupid-ass health care system, cracker."