Monday, April 12, 2010

If you wanna kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel

Brender


1. "Me, who art in heaven, Hallowed be my name, my kingdom come, my will be done, in Jesusland as it is in Chicago..."

2. "Ia... um... Ia - Cthulhu ...um... fhtagn!"

3. "... and please let Sarah Palin's face be eaten by rats, inshallah!"

4. "What makes you think you're so great anyway?"

5. "And may the workers throw off their chains and rise up against the white devils..." At that moment, PBO knew he had found his new church.

Best of Vinney
BO thought bubble: "Come guys, snap your pictures. I can't look contrite forever."

Best of Jay Guevara
"Oh, and God, please don't let those effing Americans find my real birth certificate. Amen."

Best of Jay Guevara
Thought bubble: "That Soros is a genius. He found the one church whose pews face exactly toward Mecca."

Best of GregMan
"And please, Allah, kill the Jooos!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Awaiting sainthood, the Obama family begins to get impatient.

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Gosh DARN, America!!!" - Obama pivots to the center.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Bless this country we are about to consume..."

Best of Steve O
The Obama family prays "Present."

Best of molson
Blah. Blah. Blah. Higher taxes. Amen.

28 comments:

Submariner said...

Thought bubbles from the right;
"Better hurry, Warf's big blade fight TNG rerun is on at 1."
"Self, am I listening to my prayers to me?"
"Daddy, give me a hot, manipulatable boy friend and I'll never ask for another thing."
"Hope they have a better altar wine that that last crap...

Anonymous said...

entire family: oh please, oh please we pray that Malia is not pregnant...the Plains would make so much fun of us!!

Anonymous said...

BO thought bubble:
"Come guys, snap your pictures. I can't look contrite forever."

Vinney

Jay Guevara said...

"Oh, and God, please don't let those effing Americans find my real birth certificate. Amen."

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "That Soros is a genius. He found the one church whose pews face exactly toward Mecca."

GregMan said...

"Jesus is the son of G-d. Yeah, right. Everyone knows I'M the son of G-d."

GregMan said...

"And please, Allah, make these bitter racist clinging tea-bagging morons finally realize how awesome and wonderful I am. I'm getting tired of trying to explain it to them."

GregMan said...

"And please, Allah, kill the Jooos!"

GregMan said...

"No, no, not G-d BLESS Amerikkka, G-d DAMN Amerikkka!"

GregMan said...

"This is a real crappy church. 20 minutes into the service and the minister hasn't said a THING about hating Amerikkka!"

Mr. Hankey said...

Awaiting sainthood, the Obama family begins to get impatient.

Capt. Queeg said...

"Gosh DARN, America!!!" - Obama pivots to the center.

Capt. Queeg said...

M'Chel:"..and please, G-d, let that thing get smaller and these things get bigger..."

Mr. Hankey said...

Not able to attend a REAL church so as to avoid disruptions, the Obama family prays in an Orchestra Pit during their visit to Broadway - closing down streets for hours.

Jack Reacher said...

The sun is in my eyes at this angle. I need to sign an executive order correcting that.

Jack Reacher said...

Just waiting for the collection plate, so I can make a withdrawal.

Jack Reacher said...

"Bless this country we are about to consume..."

Eric said...

DAMN. I told Malia to shave before every photo-op. Please God no more mistakes.

Targetpractice said...

Continuation of #1:

"Give us this day our daily bailouts.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trepass against us (except Republicans, Tea Baggers, Conservatives, CEOs, etc, etc, etc...).

And lead us not into capitalism, but deliver us from conservatism.

For mine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever (Or at least until 2012...).

Amen."

Steve O said...

The Obama family prays "Present."

Spin said...

"Gawd I need a smoke!"

Submariner said...

"Should I tell daddy about the Secreyt Service Agent's hands..."

molson said...

Blah. Blah. Blah. Higher taxes. Amen.

Mr. Hankey said...

As Obama prays....Michelle looks down to see her chest grow.

Julie the Jarhead said...

Younger daughter's thought bubble:

"We've pissed over a trillion dollars into the economy, and we still can't find a decent camera with a bitchin' depth-of-field!"

(No, I don't know her name. Shot me.)

Julie the Jarhead said...

shoot

w.v. sukos!

Steve O said...

God's turn to vote "Present."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The snoring is distracting so Michelle nudges him in the ribs, and a startled Obamalama yells BINGO! Film at 11.

-OR-

Hi there, remember me? Yeah, well thanks for the election win. I was wondering what you could do about the economy, jobs, Afghanistan and Biden cause I am totally out of my element.