Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Free For All

Or, What You Will...

Best of andthenblammo!
"Damn, woman, that ain't a waistline, it's an equator! I swear I see a blue shift as gravity bends around yo' ass! Baseball mascots shake less when they walk! I bet when you unzip your pants I can hear calliope music and the ringmaster announcing the next act! I found out you're visible on Google Earth! I hear the funeral home has an environmental land-use impact statement on file in your prepaid burial plan! I'm sure under all that fat there's a nice girl; maybe two or three nice girls! Last time I saw so much fat Costco was having a pallet sale on Crisco!"

Puffy practices some tough love on a friend with weight issues.

Best of andthenblammo!
"Ummph! Thanks, baby, that undescended testicle always bothered me"

Best of Submariner
Coming to a theatre near you this May, Wesley Snipes reprises his role in "Blade Rumper IV: Fatback on the Hoof."

Best of Jay Guevara
A brother helps to fight hunger in America.

Best of Passionate Conservative
"Honey, I'm stuck, can you unclench for a second?"

Threadwinner: Son Of The Godfather
...And then Dawn's ass exploded.

Best of mega
ORA "Give me that award, bitch. OK people, I just want to say, Oprah or Rosie O'Donnel deserved this award more."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
David Attenborough whispers: Wait for it... the male gorilla is about to scream, "Help me unstick my pee diddly from the junk in this elephant's trunk!"

Best of Double the U
It is good to see Whitney has finally kicked that coke habit.

Best of Rodney Dill
"I din't mean Beyonce' was the best, I'z meant bouncy was the best."

Best of Vinney
Recently while clubbing, Oprah and Steadman prove that Kitty Kelly's book is a pack of lies.

Best of dub
ATDHE (and then dubs head exploded)

Best of Steve O
P Diddy. So far, not breaking any stereotypes...

40 comments:

andthenblammo! said...

"I'm just helping it over the fence!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Damn, woman, that's not junk in the trunk, that's the whole damn scrapyard!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Whoa, darlin, when the Old Country Buffet manager chains himself over the dessert island maybe it's time to go!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Don't worry, I'll save you! I don't know if the Heimlich maneuver will shoot out a whole chicken, but I'll give it a shot!"

andthenblammo! said...

Father Puffy had never exorcised an entire case of Ho-Hos, but he felt he had to keep up with the times.......

andthenblammo! said...

"Damn, woman, that ain't a waistline, it's an equator! I swear I see a blue shift as gravity bends around yo' ass! Baseball mascots shake less when they walk! I bet when you unzip your pants I can hear calliope music and the ringmaster announcing the next act! I found out you're visible on Google Earth! I hear the funeral home has an environmental land-use impact statement on file in your prepaid burial plan! I'm sure under all that fat there's a nice girl; maybe two or three nice girls! Last time I saw so much fat Costco was having a pallet sale on Crisco!"

Puffy practices some tough love on a friend with weight issues.

andthenblammo! said...

"Ummph! Thanks, baby, that undescended testicle always bothered me"

andthenblammo! said...

"Oh, man, baby, a couple dabs of popcorn butter behind the ears and I just go crazy!"

mega said...

The new Scared Straight program to discourage senior prom dry-humping was nearly 100 % effective, but led to several cases of severe psychological trauma.

Submariner said...

Coming to a theatre near you this May, Wesley Snipes reprises his role in "Blade Rumper IV: Fatback on the Hoof."

Submariner said...

Even the Obamessiah couldn't throw Nell under the bus.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Every time he squeezed, Hakeem was reminded how Tootie got her nickname.

Jay Guevara said...

A brother helps to fight hunger in America.

Passionate Conservative said...

"No, dumbass, I said Wesley Snipes has really reached THE bottom!"

Passionate Conservative said...

"Honey, I'm stuck, can you unclench for a second?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

...And then Dawn's ass exploded.

mega said...

ORA "Give me that award, bitch. OK people, I just want to say, Oprah or Rosie O'Donnel deserved this award more."

Adjustah said...

Crushed pelvis? No, why do you ask?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

In Harlem, the Heimlich Manuever does you.

-OR-

David Attenborough whispers: Wait for it... the male gorilla is about to scream, "Help me unstick my pee diddly from the junk in this elephant's trunk!"

-OR-

Why isn't PETA outraged? Defenseless jeans don't deserve that kind of abuse. This is a perfect example why cows should be forced to wear moo-moos.

Double the U said...

It is good to see Whitney has finally kicked that coke habit.

Rodney Dill said...

Later Kanye was released as the charges were dropped to just following too close.

Rodney Dill said...

"I din't mean Beyonce' was the best, I'z meant bouncy was the best."

Anonymous said...

Jamal was just trying to get the conga line started but Lateesha thought he was after her beef jerky - things went donw hill from there.

Anonymous said...

Recently while clubbing, Oprah and Steadman prove that Kitty Kelly's book is a pack of lies.

Vinney

Submariner said...

Somehow I don't think she can get on the downlow...

Submariner said...

Bet they're dancing to "A Whole Lotta Love."

dub said...

ATDHE (and then dubs head exploded)

curly said...

Up next on “TV’s Funniest Heimlich Maneuvers”: P. Ditty takes the challenge to release an entire roast turkey from Laqueefy’s obstructed airway.

curly said...

All manner of interesting beasts pop out of minor celebrities in “Alien – The Ghetto Version”.

curly said...

None of the stunned bystanders one could figure out which was worse, the foul odors or the lower life forms that were manifested by Taniqua’s thunderous queefs.

Army of Dad said...

"I love you like you love cake!"

Army of Dad said...

Great, now he is doing a cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Army of Dad said...

"Hell no I wasn't talk to you when I sadio to 'back dat ass up' I meant that fine honey over there!"

blue said...

5 bucks on Magilla

Anonymous said...

"He gets confused when he's wearing his rose colored glasses"

Steve O said...

Puff Daddy and Puff Mommy.

Steve O said...

P Diddy. So far, not breaking any stereotypes...

Jay Guevara said...

P. Diddy's benefit to fight hunger in America was a huge success.

Anonymous said...

Suddenly she says: 'K, Im'a let you finish -- but first I jest wanna say...


Stoo