Saturday, April 10, 2010

Big Hairy Beasts

Sondra K

1. In late 2010, Countdown with Keith Olbermann was canceled and replaced with Ape Fight Tonight. Ratings quadrupled and the intellectual caliber of the network was generally raised.

2. Winner gets to f--k the horse from Friday.

3. Peaches and Bong-Bong were hired as MSNBC commentators when it was discovered they were 30% less likely to throw feces at the camera than Keith Olbermann.

4. And for an extra $46.99... you can get Comcast's Super-Extended Package, including the Ape Channel. Actually, you don't have a choice, Cable TV is a regulated government monopoly and you have to pay for all kinds of crap you'll never use. Enjoy your ObamaCare!

5. Gallant trained under the direction of a former Olympic boxer, while Goofus was up all night spamming right-wing blogs with "QUITTER PALLIN KILLS WOLVES WINGNUTS!"

Best of David
After Obama's utter failure and refusal to run for a second term, the Democratic Party chose an unorthodox method of deciding their next Presidential candidate.

Best of blue
5 bucks on Magilla

Threadwinnerer: dadoctah
"Get yer stinkin' paws off me, you damn dirty Filipino!"

Best of jj
I forget, is it the winner or the loser that gets to take on M'chel?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
How many dyslexics misread the title as "Big Hairy Breasts" and wondered why V was running another Hilary and Pelosi photo so soon?

Best of Jay Guevara
The celebrity boxing match to benefit ACORN featured Robin Williams vs. Ed Asner as the headliners.

Best of mega
"Hey, I remember you....3rd Platoon, took the Statue of Liberty way back when. Good times, good times."

Best of Wesley M.
"Not the face! Not the face!"

Best of metalgarth
ESPN 9 had none of the dignity of ESPN 8 and ESPN 7 but all the excitement of ESPN 6

Best of Rodney Dill
If you have any poo, fling it now.

25 comments:

David said...

After Obama's utter failure and refusal to run for a second term, the Democratic Party chose an unorthodox method of deciding their next Presidential candidate.

blue said...

5 bucks on Magilla

dadoctah said...

"Get yer stinkin' paws off me, you damn dirty Filipino!"

jj said...

I forget, is it the winner or the loser that gets to take on M'chel?

Anonymous said...

When they billed this fight as the "rumble in the jungle," they weren't kidding.

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

How many dyslexics misread the title as "Big Hairy Breasts" and wondered why V was running another Hilary and Pelosi photo so soon?

-OR-

Bananabubble: If that ref calls me a dumb ape once more, I'm gonna hit him below the belt and bite his ear off.

-OR-

PoonTang whispers to Hairy Breasts, "Alright, you can take the fall this time, but don't do a Clyde or I'll turn you every which way but loose!

Jay Guevara said...

Democrats starting primaries already?

Jay Guevara said...

The celebrity boxing match to benefit ACORN featured Robin Williams vs. Ed Asner as the headliners.

Jay Guevara said...

It was telling that neither of the boxers thought that Guam was in danger of capsizing.

mega said...

As MSNBC wryly noted: is there anyone who DIDN'T think the teabaggers would eventually turn on themselves?

mega said...

"Hey, I remember you....3rd Platoon, took the Statue of Liberty way back when. Good times, good times."

Wesley M. said...

"Not the face! Not the face!"

Submariner said...

Let's get ready to r-r-r-rUMBLE!
In the Code Pink corner, a native New Yorker, you know her as the Zionist movement terror; put your hands together for, BELLAAA AB-ZUG!
And in the bluest of blue corners, the Wookie of No Nookie, The Predator, that consumer of community activists, the champion and First Lady of Economic Disaster; M'CHELLLLLL O'BAMAAAAAAAAAA!

Submariner said...

Oh yeah, ATDHE

dadoctah said...

"See you tomorrow at the tea party?"

metalgarth said...

ESPN 9 had none of the dignity of ESPN 8 and ESPN 7 but all the excitement of ESPN 6

metalgarth said...

I swear all the boxers these days are just aping Leon Spinks

Rodney Dill said...

Float like a butterfly,
Sting like a bee,
Who is the greatest?
Mohammad Monkey.

Rodney Dill said...

If you have any poo, fling it now.

GregMan said...

The fight ended like a debate on the Keith Olbermann show when both monkeys stopped boxing and began furiously masturbating to a picture of M'chelle Obama.

GregMan said...

The loser gets served up for dinner.

GregMan said...

The Ang Lee remake of "Million Dollar Baby" was faithful to the original, except that instead of pulling the plug on the injured boxer the coach threw poo at it.

Mr. Hankey said...

The waiting room at the new White House family Beauty Salon.

StewartIII said...

ChickaBOOMer: MSNBC's Primate Time
http://chickaboomer.blogspot.com/2010/04/msnbcs-primate-time.html

Rodney Dill said...

"Who you callin' a minkey?"