1. In late 2010, Countdown with Keith Olbermann was canceled and replaced with Ape Fight Tonight. Ratings quadrupled and the intellectual caliber of the network was generally raised.
2. Winner gets to f--k the horse from Friday.
3. Peaches and Bong-Bong were hired as MSNBC commentators when it was discovered they were 30% less likely to throw feces at the camera than Keith Olbermann.
4. And for an extra $46.99... you can get Comcast's Super-Extended Package, including the Ape Channel. Actually, you don't have a choice, Cable TV is a regulated government monopoly and you have to pay for all kinds of crap you'll never use. Enjoy your ObamaCare!
5. Gallant trained under the direction of a former Olympic boxer, while Goofus was up all night spamming right-wing blogs with "QUITTER PALLIN KILLS WOLVES WINGNUTS!"
Best of David
After Obama's utter failure and refusal to run for a second term, the Democratic Party chose an unorthodox method of deciding their next Presidential candidate.
Best of blue
5 bucks on Magilla
"Get yer stinkin' paws off me, you damn dirty Filipino!"
Best of jj
I forget, is it the winner or the loser that gets to take on M'chel?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
How many dyslexics misread the title as "Big Hairy Breasts" and wondered why V was running another Hilary and Pelosi photo so soon?
Best of Jay Guevara
The celebrity boxing match to benefit ACORN featured Robin Williams vs. Ed Asner as the headliners.
Best of mega
"Hey, I remember you....3rd Platoon, took the Statue of Liberty way back when. Good times, good times."
Best of Wesley M.
"Not the face! Not the face!"
Best of metalgarth
ESPN 9 had none of the dignity of ESPN 8 and ESPN 7 but all the excitement of ESPN 6
Best of Rodney Dill
If you have any poo, fling it now.