Saturday, March 27, 2010

You Didn't See This


1. The Crocodile Hunter's kid would go on to all sorts of predicaments.

2. Critics say the sexual imagery in Roman Polansky's new film lacks subtlety.

3. Tragedy ensued when the babysitter's cries of "A snake! A snake! Oh, it's a snake!" were mistaken for an homage to the BadgerBadgerBadger website.

4. No one ever figured out why little Maggie grew up to be such a huge lesbian.

5. "Dang," thought the snake. "Shouldn't have filled up on the cat."

Best of Double the U

This is the only caption I have and it isn't a caption:

http://www.theonion.com/video/boys-tragic-death-could-have-happened-to-any-famil,17024/

Best of Oiao
Ah, spring time in a Flordia meth lab home.......

Threadwinner: Vinney
Exclusive photos of Harry Reid fawning over his new grandchild.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Baby Thawtbubble: Don't panic... if I play dead, it'll ignore me. No, that's for bears. "Red on Yellow Kills a Fellow, Red on Black"... nah, that's for coral snakes. Darn it. I must have been napping during the "when boas attack" segment.


Best of curly
Planned Parenthood’s “Don’t Tread On Me” poster, while a big hit with the Barbara Boxer crowd, was considered too cutting edge for the clingers in fly-over country.

Best of molson
Congress experiments with a work around for the ban on Federally funded abortions.

Best of mega
Fortunately, liberals' plan to go back in time to kill George Bush as a baby was foiled, by assuming that a harmless brown snake would consume a baby based on CBO analysis.

Best of mpur
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing baby!

Best of Adriane
Is that a snake in your onesie or is Baby just happy to see me?

Best of Steve O
The Trailersnake uses his specialized pillowcase-camoflage to avoid detection.

Best of dadoctah
Okay, whose idea was it to let Alice Cooper host a parenting show?

Best of Matt the K
Dept. of Social Services shows up at Slash's house A LOT.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Some of the sacrifices given to Satan to ensure Justin Bieber's career success.

26 comments:

dub said...

Richard Gere's daughter gets off to an early start.

Double the U said...

This is the only caption I have and it isn't a caption:

http://www.theonion.com/video/boys-tragic-death-could-have-happened-to-any-famil,17024/

(clicking on link in name will also take you to video)

Oiao said...

Ah, spring time in a Flordia meth lab home.......

Anonymous said...

Exclusive photos of Harry Reid fawning over his new grandchild.

Vinney

dadoctah said...

I swear those Thompsons spoil their pet python rotten. They even bought him one of those lifesize dolls to sleep with.

Here's a slightly later picture from the same household: http://www.parentfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/baby-boa.jpg

Carpe Phlogiston said...

First, Cletus loses his job, gets drunk and accidentally burns the double-wide down. Then, his floozy wife Velma runs off with the milkman. Now, Congress goes on recess* and the unemployment checks stop. What more could go wrong?

* Considering how irresponsibly juvenile Congress has acted these past few decades, calling it recess is apropos, ain't it?

-OR-

Snake Thawtbubble: If the jammies are laced with fire retardants the acid reflux for go on for days, but how can I resist a warm snack before bedtime... damn those Hot Pockets commercials.

-OR-

Baby Thawtbubble: Don't panic... if I play dead, it'll ignore me. No, that's for bears. "Red on Yellow Kills a Fellow, Red on Black"... nah, that's for coral snakes. Darn it. I must have been napping during the "when boas attack" segment.

-OR-

This happens all the time in the Amazon, but Florida never had these problems until idiots began turning unwanted pets loose.

curly said...

The Obamacare late, late, late-term 6th trimester abortion provisions provide for a python and a Kenyan witch doctor.

Festivus said...

An early example of the groundbreaking Kevin Jennings curriculum for toddlers. It was actually considered child abuse at the time.

curly said...

Planned Parenthood’s “Don’t Tread On Me” poster, while a big hit with the Barbara Boxer crowd, was considered too cutting edge for the clingers in fly-over country.

molson said...

Congress experiments with a work around for the ban on Federally funded abortions.

mega said...

Fortunately, liberals' plan to go back in time to kill George Bush as a baby was foiled, by assuming that a harmless brown snake would consume a baby based on CBO analysis.

mpur said...

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing baby!

Adriane said...

Is that a snake in your onesie or is Baby just happy to see me?

dadoctah said...

In certain parts of the country, this counts as infant baptism.

Army of Dad said...

This is what happens when you name your baby after Harry Potter.

Steve O said...

The Trailersnake uses his specialized pillowcase-camoflage avoid detection.

Steve O said...

The Trailersnake uses his specialized pillowcase-camoflage to avoid detection.

robert said...

Meanwhile at the shallow end of the gene pool...

The rise of the Idiocracy continues apace.

blue said...

this baby will need physiotherapy before grade school...thank goodness fro ObamaCare!!!!

dadoctah said...

Okay, whose idea was it to let Alice Cooper host a parenting show?

wv: squakepi. The ratio between the circumference of a squake and its diameter.

sonicfrog said...

Oh, let me guess, ObamaCare will fix this too!

sonicfrog said...

The Templetons were shocked when their baby was diagnosed with a severe case of boaconstrititis.

Steve O said...

If he survives early childhood, Jack stands to be awarded a later bedtime than his most of his friends.

curly said...

Hatched by a snake in a Kenyan double wide? No wonder Barack Obama won’t release his birth certificate.

Matt the K said...

Dept. of Social Services shows up at Slash's house A LOT.

Mr. Hankey said...

Some of the sacrifices given to Satan to ensure Justin Bieber's career success.