Monday, March 22, 2010

Worst Ladies

Divine Miss M

1. "And when Pelosi gets here, our production of Macbeth may begin."

2. "Back off, doughnut bumper. You could not begin to handle a Klingon woman's clenis."

3. "Told you mine was bigger, you chalk-faced whore!"

4. "Wouldn't you know, American flag in the background, and neither one of us with a gawdam lighter."

5. B'Ator was supportive when L'Ursa was stricken with the Michael Jackson skin whitening disease.

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Gramma's dentures buggin' ya?"

Best of GregMan
"A sale? At Old Navy? Let's go, woman!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Am I still smiling? Whew, thought the force field had failed! The energy it takes to power this artificial grin could light a small city. If the grid ever fails, can you imagine how many people my cheeks will take out?

Threadwinner: Vinney
"Oh, silly me. I thought when you said you're not fond of crackers you were talking about the soup."

Best of molson
That's no strap on, and yes, it is magnificent.

Best of censors hip
"...and at last month's ex-first ladies wife swap I drew Jimmy Carter, now I know why he is identified with the peanut!"

Best of Blue
"...Hillary honey, when Barrack asks where da white womens, he sure didn't mean you!"

Best of curly
“Now Simon says ‘touch your fat, doughy thighs’.”

Best of Rodney Dill
Yes Wiccan!

25 comments:

Capt. Queeg said...

"Gramma's dentures buggin' ya?"

GregMan said...

"You're right, M'chelle, those curtains behind me would make a lovely gown!"

GregMan said...

"A sale? At Old Navy? Let's go, woman!"

ATDHE

GregMan said...

"Girl, you lets out one mo' queef likes dat last one, and health care ain't gone be the last thing what gets dee-stroyed tonight!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Am I still smiling? Whew, thought the force field had failed! The energy it takes to power this artificial grin could light a small city. If the grid ever fails, can you imagine how many people my cheeks will take out?

Anonymous said...

"Oh, silly me. I thought when you said you're not fond of crackers you were talking about the soup."

Vinney

molson said...

That's no strap on, and yes, it is magnificent.

Blue said...

why honey, did Laura Bush forget to give you the prescription for the "presidential" strength Viagra?

censors hip said...

"...and at last month's ex-first ladies wife swap I drew Jimmy Carter, now I know why he is identified with the peanut!"

dub said...

Bitch please. Yo man only f*cked an intern. Mah man just f*cked an entire country.

Blue said...

"...Hillary honey, when Barrack asks where da white womens, he sure didn't mean you!"

Anonymous said...

I told you as far as minorities go black men have more power than women, that is why Obama got the health bill to pass and you didn't.

Jack Reacher said...

"It's just an ache I get when listening to the monotonous drone of your husband rambling on."
"You, er, were listening to him? No offense, Madame Secretary, but that's just dumb."

Jack Reacher said...

"It's just an ache I get when I listen to your husband's monotonous, droning voice, rambling on and on."
"Tell it, Sister; you can almost hear the thunderous clap of millions of mute buttons being pressed right now, all across America."

Kaptain Krude said...

"I'm telling you, it'll work. You get your husband to demote Biden back to fetching us our coffee and replace him with Bill. Then, a little while later, they'll both meet with 'tragic' 'accidents', if you know what I mean, and then *WE* can take over. And no one will ever suspect!"

wv: mulear - nuclear mule energy?

Jay Guevara said...

"Ever thought we'd cornhole America this bad, Hillary?"

"Nope. We've boned 'em beyond my wildest dreams."

curly said...

“…and I’ll bitch-slap you again the next time I hear you took a pro-Israeli, anti-Hamas stance.”

curly said...

“Dat’s right sista; rub da juice innnn.”

curly said...

“Now Simon says ‘touch your fat, doughy thighs’.”

curly said...

Whenever Michelle Obama spoke, Hillary felt a thrill going up her hoggish jowls.

Eric said...

Barry want's to know, Where da White women at?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Read My Lips - Hillary doesn't bother with diplomatic subtleties when speaking out of either side of her piehole.

-OR-

A bored Hillary whispers: Did you hear the one where our husbands start to walk into a bar and trip over their egos? Oxford and Nobel lay dead in the gutter after being run over by reality.

-OR-

Michelle: Hon, when I look in your ear, there's definitely light coming through!
Hillary: Yeah, well, Oz didn't give me a brain. He thought I asked for a "stain" and, well, you know the rest of the dress story.

Rodney Dill said...

Yes Wiccan!

Rodney Dill said...

Bags fly free

Jay Guevara said...

"Bill into wife-swappin'?"