Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Woman Who Tried to Eat Ann Coulter

Sondrak K
1. Note to the leftist media --- this is what an ugly violent mob looks like. In the future, when covering Tea Party protests, please use this for reference.

2. The little kid who kept chucking bean bags in her mouth hoping to win a prize got the beating of his life several minutes later.

3. Latreena's plan to suffocate all the white folks by breathing in all the air in the Western hemisphere at once was, fortunately, unsuccessful.

4. Would it be racist to suggest that Latreena could go bobbing for watermelons?

5. Latreena died tragically, moments later, when a passing Greyhound bus mistook her mouth for the entrance to the Holland tunnel.

Best of dadoctah
Uh, miss, the American Idol auditions are *inside*. And just a helpful suggestion, you might want to pick something a little less corny than "I Will Always Love You" for your opener.

Best of GregMan
"Sale at Old Naaavy!"

Best of Rodney Dill
"BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!"

Threadwinner: Rodney Dill
Somewhere near Enumclaw there's a horse with a smile on its face.

Best of mpur
Bill Clinton called. He wants your phone number.

Best of Jay Guevara
Global warming has extended the cottonmouth's range northwards into Canada.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The grief-stricken parents of little Becky Sue reported hearing an odd swallowing noise and a loud belch immediately before noticing their daughter was missing.

Best of Mr. Right
Hasbro presents: Hungry Hungry Libbos!
The winner is the first player to lose all of their marbles.

Best of Submariner
"Amateur" Hillary sniffed as she finished off two toddlers and an eight year old in two gulps.

Best of Steve O
Republican superhero "Sonic" sends a shockwave to shatter the Health Care bill. Unfortunately, a supervillian known only as "The Wookie" used the massive bulk of her thighs to intercept and absorb the force of the blow.

Best of dub
Dude watch out, Tracy Chapman is pissed.

37 comments:

dadoctah said...

Uh, miss, the American Idol auditions are *inside*. And just a helpful suggestion, you might want to pick something a little less corny than "I Will Always Love You" for your opener.

GregMan said...

Ironically Taqueefna was leter beaten by her husband Mohammed for being in public without her related male escort.

GregMan said...

"Sale at Old Naaavy!"

Rodney Dill said...

"BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!"

GregMan said...

"O' course I believes in freedom of speech! Now shut up, you right-wing m*****-f*****!"

GregMan said...

"Get offs ma lawn!"

Rodney Dill said...

Somewhere near Enumclaw there's a horse with a smile on its face.

Blue said...

"...someone take my place - I have to go get my free cheese..."

Anonymous said...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

Oh, have Detroit City Council meetings started again?

Capt. Queeg said...

dispensing with some standards"

"BRAAIIINSS!"

-and-

"Kobe, etc etc."

mpur said...

Bill Clinton called. He wants your phone number.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This clearly supports the theory of evolution. Female mouths evolved to ahem "accomodate" a tribe's most prevalent-sized salami.

-OR-

David Attenborough whispers: We are witnessing a rare event outside the jungle... here, Jemimahleroyette is caught demonstrating the snake-like ability to detach her upper and lower jaws!

WordVerify: mathoat - what she gurgles in a panic when it's rammed in too hard... "ge i ouw o mathoat!"

Jay Guevara said...

"Where da white men at?"

Jay Guevara said...

Lakeesha Coulter still bore a grudge toward her half-sister.

Jay Guevara said...

Global warming has extended the cottonmouth's range northwards into Canada.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The grief-stricken parents of little Becky Sue reported hearing an odd swallowing noise and a loud belch immediately before noticing their daughter was missing.

-OR-

Attendees at this summer's Concert in the Park were pleased that mobile mosquito catchers were strategically positioned thoughout the esplanade.

Mr. Right said...

Hasbro presents: Hungry Hungry Libbos!

The winner is the first player to lose all of their marbles.

Jay Guevara said...

Were they using lures or live bait to get them to strike like that?

Submariner said...

"Amateur" Hillary sniffed as she finished off two toddlers and an eight year old in two gulps.

Submariner said...

"Amateur" Sully sniffed...

Steve O said...

Republican superhero "Sonic" sends a shockwave to shatter the Health Care bill.

Unfortunately, a supervillian known only as "The Wookie" used the massive bulk of her thighs to intercept and absorb the force of the blow.

Submariner said...

I will gladly pay you in November for Health Care Reform today...

molson said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Submariner said...

Amerikkka - Under the bus. NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

Submariner said...

Hooray. BEER!

Jay Guevara said...

"What do we want?"

"Pink Cadillacs!"

"When do we want 'em?"

"NOW!"

skinnydipinacid said...

bobbing for watermelons... that was hilarious!

John.....just John said...

Obamasiah! I have tonsillitis. Cure me with your healthcare now please. Wanna see it?

Shambhala said...

I'm amazed no one left the obligatory "ATDHE"

Word Verification: chuming - looks like the shark smelled the bait.

dub said...

Dude watch out, Tracy Chapman is pissed.

curly said...

Lescheisse was such a carpet muncher, her burps amounted to little more than regurgitated queefs.

curly said...

Only Lequeefa could ‘out-Michelle’ Michelle Obama.

curly said...

My uterus – Your business. Just $2.

Adriane said...

Ang Lee remakes "The Sound of Music" ...

Jay Guevara said...

Tragically, Lakeesha failed to see the hook in the piece of fried chicken dangling in front of her.

Submariner said...

Deys won't smell mah finner, yer Obamessiahship, suh! MAKE 'EM likes ya made 'em buy dat unwanted health 'nsurance!


ATDHE