1. Note to the leftist media --- this is what an ugly violent mob looks like. In the future, when covering Tea Party protests, please use this for reference.
2. The little kid who kept chucking bean bags in her mouth hoping to win a prize got the beating of his life several minutes later.
3. Latreena's plan to suffocate all the white folks by breathing in all the air in the Western hemisphere at once was, fortunately, unsuccessful.
4. Would it be racist to suggest that Latreena could go bobbing for watermelons?
5. Latreena died tragically, moments later, when a passing Greyhound bus mistook her mouth for the entrance to the Holland tunnel.
Best of dadoctah
Uh, miss, the American Idol auditions are *inside*. And just a helpful suggestion, you might want to pick something a little less corny than "I Will Always Love You" for your opener.
Best of GregMan
"Sale at Old Naaavy!"
Best of Rodney Dill
"BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!"
Threadwinner: Rodney Dill
Somewhere near Enumclaw there's a horse with a smile on its face.
Best of mpur
Bill Clinton called. He wants your phone number.
Best of Jay Guevara
Global warming has extended the cottonmouth's range northwards into Canada.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The grief-stricken parents of little Becky Sue reported hearing an odd swallowing noise and a loud belch immediately before noticing their daughter was missing.
Best of Mr. Right
Hasbro presents: Hungry Hungry Libbos!
The winner is the first player to lose all of their marbles.
Best of Submariner
"Amateur" Hillary sniffed as she finished off two toddlers and an eight year old in two gulps.
Best of Steve O
Republican superhero "Sonic" sends a shockwave to shatter the Health Care bill. Unfortunately, a supervillian known only as "The Wookie" used the massive bulk of her thighs to intercept and absorb the force of the blow.
Best of dub
Dude watch out, Tracy Chapman is pissed.