1. American democracy was struck and killed today by a drunk driver with an "Obama 08" bumper sticker.
2. Congressman Patrick Kennedy is still recovering from St. Patrick's Day.
3. How a Founding Father would react to the idea that the House of Representatives can deem a law "Passed" without a vote.
4. Contrary to the happy gay disco song, "It's Raining Men" would actually be a gory and horrific scenario.
5. Onlookers wondered which Clinton he had betrayed.
Best of dub
Not to be bothered by a dead body in the road, Shelly, pictured far right, hurries along to her Thursday photo shoot.
Best of Vinney
Unemployment was so bad in Detroit, Fred took a job as a part time speed bump.
"Give it up, Neil. Unless we get some snow, nobody's going to follow your lead and start making asphalt angels."
Best of Matt the K
In Russia, street crosses you.
Best of Submariner
You're such a drama queen, Moshe... Seriously, 54 cents a pound is not that bad for bananas.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Laziest suicide bomber in history... makes people come to him.
Best of molson
Glenn Becks's latest stunt to portray the healthcare bill as DOA only resulted in curious stares from onlookers.
Best of Jay Guevara
Onlooker: "I was kidding. Obama didn't really tell the truth."
Best of mega
"And I hereby declare this road to be our ancestral home, and I will die to protect it, and you can never ever drive on this road again." Effing Palestinians.
Best of GregMan
"Take him to the Emergency Room? Nah, he's too old, the Death Panel guidelines say let him die in the street."