1. Star Wars trivia: The holding cell next to Princess Leia on the Death Star was occupied by Morrissey.
2. The worst part about John Derbyshire's captivity were Sully's constant taunts of "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."
3. ORA: Eventually, Gul Madred "persuaded" the conservative that he really did hear racial slurs in the videotape.
4. "Please, help me. I'm trapped in Joy Behar's bedroom."
5. Paintings of Gitmo Prisoners being tortured on Stop signs --- and 1,001 other surefire ways to win an NEA Grant., now available at STIMULUSMONEYGRAB.COM.
Best of dub
Give 'em hell buddy....you show that turd who's boss!
Best of HLam
He'll eventually learn that the Pink button gets him the cheese and the green button gets him 10,000 volts.
Best of Double the U
Under Obama's health care, no one can hear you scream.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Ironically, Woody Allen sunk his life savings into the development of a "real" orgasmatron, only to learn that it was another Madoff Ponzi scheme.
Best of Army of Mom
Stool softener my ass.
Best of Army of Mom
God almighty. No wonder Brenda won't let me do anal on her. I thought, how bad could it me when she said she'd let me do it to her if I let her do it to me. Gees, where is the icepack and that rubber donut?
We really need to ease off the acceleration in the escape pods.
Best of Jack Reacher
"You can get out of the chamber once you give me your TPS report, Mm-kay?"
Best of Festivus
"Polygonal Jeopardy's" wrong answer penalty of gassing contestants ultimately forced the show into early syndication.
Best of dadoctah
Test-marketing the new Michael Bolton CD box set.
Best of GregMan
"There... Are... FOUR... Tea Party Activists Calling A Black Congressman A N*****!!!"
Best of Matt the K
MST3K really jumped the shark when they hired David Byrne as the new 'Joel'.
Best of Submariner
Best of Rodney Dill
Eventually piping in Britney Spears' music was deemed to be in the same category of torture as waterboarding.