Friday, March 26, 2010

Meanwhile, In the Honeycomb Hideout

Brender

1. Star Wars trivia: The holding cell next to Princess Leia on the Death Star was occupied by Morrissey.

2. The worst part about John Derbyshire's captivity were Sully's constant taunts of "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

3. ORA: Eventually, Gul Madred "persuaded" the conservative that he really did hear racial slurs in the videotape.

4. "Please, help me. I'm trapped in Joy Behar's bedroom."

5. Paintings of Gitmo Prisoners being tortured on Stop signs --- and 1,001 other surefire ways to win an NEA Grant., now available at STIMULUSMONEYGRAB.COM.


Best of dub
Give 'em hell buddy....you show that turd who's boss!

Best of HLam
He'll eventually learn that the Pink button gets him the cheese and the green button gets him 10,000 volts.

Best of Double the U
Under Obama's health care, no one can hear you scream.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Ironically, Woody Allen sunk his life savings into the development of a "real" orgasmatron, only to learn that it was another Madoff Ponzi scheme.

Best of Army of Mom
Stool softener my ass.

Best of Army of Mom
God almighty. No wonder Brenda won't let me do anal on her. I thought, how bad could it me when she said she'd let me do it to her if I let her do it to me. Gees, where is the icepack and that rubber donut?

Threadwinner: Dactyl
We really need to ease off the acceleration in the escape pods.

Best of Jack Reacher
"You can get out of the chamber once you give me your TPS report, Mm-kay?"

Best of Festivus
"Polygonal Jeopardy's" wrong answer penalty of gassing contestants ultimately forced the show into early syndication.

Best of dadoctah
Test-marketing the new Michael Bolton CD box set.

Best of GregMan
"There... Are... FOUR... Tea Party Activists Calling A Black Congressman A N*****!!!"

Best of Matt the K
MST3K really jumped the shark when they hired David Byrne as the new 'Joel'.

Best of Submariner
Shouldn't.Have.Selected.The.Double.Ought.Gauge.Plug.

Best of Rodney Dill
Eventually piping in Britney Spears' music was deemed to be in the same category of torture as waterboarding.

41 comments:

dub said...

Richard Gere has really gained some flexibility.

dub said...

In the ultimate show of irony, Richard Gere's hell involves him spending eternity shoved up a giant gerbils ass.

dub said...

As seen in the mirror on Dub's desk on any given Thursday.....

dub said...

Give 'em hell buddy....you show that turd who's boss!

satted said...

Winston Smith was not enjoying his visit to the mintry of love.

molson said...

Consumer trials of the Barney Frank massage chair produced widely mixed results scoring well in California, but not so well in Texas.

HLam said...

He'll eventually learn that the Pink button gets him the cheese and the green button gets him 10,000 volts.

Double the U said...

Under Obama's health care, no one can hear you scream.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

NASA cutbacks forced closure of the centrifuge facility and grounded zero-gravity planes. Strapping aspiring astronauts into a blue ball and pushing them off Pike's Peak proved acceptable for culling out those with weak stomachs.

-OR-

In 2019, one of the few remaining people in the US with a BMI under 29 was forcibly taken to a secret facility and studied by snack food manufacturers intent on turning everyone into fat pigs. You fool! Pick the RED or WHITE snowballs and things will go much easier on you!

-OR-

Ironically, Woody Allen sunk his life savings into the development of a "real" orgasmatron, only to learn that it was another Madoff Ponzi scheme.

Army of Mom said...

You may find yourself sitting in shotgun shack and you may find yourself in a honeycomb barber chair and you may ask yourself, my god, what have I done?

Army of Mom said...

WHY.DIDNT.I.BRING.THE.WITCH.HAZEL?

Army of Mom said...

Stool softener my ass.

Army of Mom said...

This will only hurt a minute. Yeah right.

Army of Mom said...

Brokeback Astronaut showed us how HE REALLY felt after his, uh, er, experience.

Army of Mom said...

That's the last time I get drunk in Vegas.

Army of Mom said...

God almighty. No wonder Brenda won't let me do anal on her. I thought, how bad could it me when she said she'd let me do it to her if I let her do it to me. Gees, where is the icepack and that rubber donut?

Army of Mom said...

God almighty. No wonder Brenda won't let me do anal on her. I thought, how bad could it me when she said she'd let me do it to her if I let her do it to me. Gees, where is the icepack and that rubber donut?

Army of Mom said...

After a night in the county lock-up, David vowed to never again say "things couldn't get any worse than this."

Army of Mom said...

Note to self: Don't go in leather bar and say "Whats up my homos?"

Anonymous said...

brought to you from www.butplugsRus.com

Forgot to use lube.

Oiao.

Dactyl said...

We really need to ease off the acceleration in the escape pods.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

The public found passing ObamaCare much more difficult than Congress had.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the deepest inner mind to the outer limits.
Ralph, the first human to make contact with aliens from a different galaxy (as opposed to Mexico), was quite surprised to hear that they liked microwave popcorn...

Spin said...

"Please, help me. I'm trapped in Katie Couric's anus."

Film @ 11:00.

Jack Reacher said...

Got stool softener?

Jack Reacher said...

"You can get out of the chamber once you give me your TPS report, Mm-kay?"

Rodney Dill said...

"NO NOOOOO, Not the COMFY CHAIR"

curly said...

Hope and Change! Hope and Change! Hope and Change! Hope and Change! Hope and Change! Hope and Change! HOPE AND CHAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!!!

curly said...

Bill had a hot time in Jeffrey Dahmer’s microwave.

Submariner said...

If Maureen Dowd's vision of Ronnie Reagan's afterlife were true...

Festivus said...

"Polygonal Jeopardy's" wrong answer penalty of gassing contestants ultimately forced the show into early syndication.

dadoctah said...

Test-marketing the new Michael Bolton CD box set.

GregMan said...

"There... Are... FOUR... Tea Party Activists Calling A Black Congressman A N*****!!!"

GregMan said...

ORA: The Neural Neutralizer made the Comfy Chair of Tantalus V much less comfy than it could have been.

curly said...

Open the hive door, Hal!

sonicfrog said...

How liberals are made.

Steve O said...

Still won't vote in favor?

Audience, let's turn it up to eleven!!

Kaptain Krude said...

Yeah, I had the same reaction the first time I heard Aerosmith.



wv: bunkervi - I've got bunker vision.

Matt the K said...

MST3K really jumped the shark when they hired David Byrne as the new 'Joel'.

Submariner said...

Shouldn't.Have.Selected.The.Double.Ought.Gauge.Plug.

Rodney Dill said...

Eventually piping in Britney Spears' music was deemed to be in the same category of torture as waterboarding.