Saturday, March 20, 2010

March Madness


1. "Yeah, those boys from St. Joseph's Academy really freaked when they saw our Satanic Goat's Head mascot and the bloody pentagram at center court."

2. "Dammit! Can't we have just one normal game where Tom Cruise doesn't try and sell us on Scientology?"
3. Other team's shooting and passing attempts were invariably distracted by the creepy deformed hand growing out of Billy's shoulder.
4. "The thing is, guys, I'm two payments behind on the Prius and... long-story short, if you could miss a few lay-ups in the next period and keep the spread down to six points, it would help out your old coach a lot. Whaddya say?"
5. "I can't believe you schmucks are down 15 points against a girls team."

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Coach, I have a question. Have you noticed, there are no Blacks on our team?!!. Are you freakin' crazy"!

Vinney

jj said...

Look, you guys lose this game and there will be no more "special visits" with Father Frank.

blue said...

after the NCAA expanded the tourney, the 96th ranked Rams get ready to play the #1 seed in the East

dadoctah said...

It's good to know Ryan Seacrest has another job he can fall back on.

Submariner said...

No, #14; it's the shofar or ram's HORN that you blow, and then only at the start of Synagogue services...

Submariner said...

OK, guys, after last season I think at least 3 of you have a solid chance to make the team and Dwight is a veritable lock for starting quarterback over Bulger...

Submariner said...

OK guys, their cheerleaders not wearing panties is just a gimic to get your minds off the game. Guys? Guys? Over here... Strategy session?



v word - psick - what type of intercourse V is...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

PEP Talk - WRONG:
Ronald, we've lost 6 games in a row because of your massively clumsy ball handling, but getting assigned #13 is just coincidence. Nobody thinks you're a jinx, right guys?

-OR-

Don't Ask, We Can Tell
An overly giddy Coach Fritz exclaims, "tee hee, game over, now let's head for the showers, guys!"

curly said...

The Rahm’s coach was all smiles in public, but it was different when he and the boys were all naked in the showers, with lots of yelling, screaming and finger-pointing.

curly said...

OK Rams, who’s turn is it to be the ewe today?

mega said...

Don LaPre's new infomercial, "The 400 Things They Don't Want You To Know About Playing Basketball", was a huge money-maker.

curly said...

The paranoid-schizophrenic coach’s lurid description of his current hallucination of the opposing team having a girl player sitting atop the hoop left the boys bewildered and speechless.

dadoctah said...

"I've seen you guys in practice. Screw it, I'm gonna go watch the marching band."

Spin said...

I'll handle the body on the stage ONLY after you guys put up some points.

Mr Hankey said...

All is good guys. My wife and I are planning to head to West Memphis to adopt a black boy.

GregMan said...

Billi listened to his coach, suspecting nothing as the Salad Tongs Of Death closed in on him from the right.

GregMan said...

"OK, boys, just one more quarter to play and then we can go watch gladiator movies!"

GregMan said...

Coach Lance's habit of conducting circle jerks during timeouts eventually caught up with him.

molson said...

Slam dunk? I think not.

Rodney Dill said...

"...and I live in a van down by the river."

dub said...

Aw Coach, I dont wanna be your #69 again tonight.