Monday, March 15, 2010

Look at the Size of that ... Thing


1. $4,000,000 in Stimulus Funding went into the Suppository Museum in John Murtha's Congressional District.

2. "F--- You, Dr. Cochrane. We need the money for Health Care. The Phoenix Project is cancelled."

3. "Mr. President... how shall I put this... your 'first stage' is leaking fuel."

4. "Yes, Mr. President, they will be ready for M'Chel's birthday. But may I ask why she wants the world's largest set of Lee Press-On Nails?"

5. "Yes, Mr. President... I suppose one could make 'one helluva bong' out of that thing."

Best of dadoctah
"Mmmm, cone-y!"

Best of GregMan
"...and this represents the size of Hillary's clenis."

Best of blue
I sure HOPE this time capsule from Jimmy Carter's administration contains tips on how to CHANGE things so that I won't be a one term president.....

Best of Rodney Dill
"How many D-cells?"

Best of divine miss m
Well, we don’t need Freud for that one, do we?

Best of Vinney
"Sir, the project's original mission was to land a man on Kim Kardashian's ass, then we realized that's been done before...many times."

Best of curly
“Don’t worry, Mr. President. Your fragile ego will be safe and secure in this baby.”

Best of Submariner
"What's this do?"
"DON'T TOUCH THAT BU"
Then the tape goes all snowy, sir...

Best of Steve O
"Does it go to 11? Mr President, this baby STARTS at 11."

Best of Rodney Dill
Joe Biden's cone-of-silence is just finished Mr. President.

Best of sonicfrog
ORA: After conquering the universe with little more than a toilet plunger for so many years, the Daleks FINALLY get an upgrade.

Best of dub
Big giant Klan hat? Uh...what big giant Klan hat Mr President?

Threadwinner: Mr Hankey
And with thermonuclear power along with state of the art nano technology, I think this thing will finally get Michelle off.


42 comments:

dadoctah said...

"Mmmm, cone-y!"

Oiao said...

"I'd, um, auh, like one of these for shoving up every American taxpayers' ass."

GregMan said...

"...and this represents the size of Hillary's clenis."

Oiao said...

"Are you, um, auh, sure we can get Biden into this and put him in orbit?"

GregMan said...

"Um, this is the, ahh, biggest butt-plug I've ever seen."

blue said...

I sure HOPE this time capsule from Jimmy Carter's administration contains tips on how to CHANGE things so that I won't be a one term president.....

Anonymous said...

"Sir, we're putting the finishing touches on Kevin Jenning's butt plug. This is one birthday gift he'll never forget."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

"And, you call this the Wendy William's cup? Don't tell Michelle I said that."

Vinney

Rodney Dill said...

"How many D-cells?"

Rodney Dill said...

"...and with just 1.21 Gigawatts... it'll vibrate.:

HLam said...

Off to the side, Hillary's thought bubble "Yeah, I could fit that".

divine miss m said...

Well, we don’t need Freud for that one, do we?

Anonymous said...

"Sir, the project's original mission was to land a man on Kim Kardashian's ass, then we realized that's been done before...many times."

Vinney

USMC8541 said...

Okay...We'll use this to loosen them up for the ramming they'll get with Obamacare.

Capt. Queeg said...

"It, um, isn't, um, rocket science, uh, after all.."
"Yes, it is, sir."

curly said...

“Don’t worry, Mr. President. Your fragile ego will be safe and secure in this baby.”

Oiao said...

"Um, again, uah, let me get this, um, this is the ObamaCare treatment thing, that we, um, drop on all seniors at the moment they are eligible to draw Social Security?"

curly said...

“The alien said ‘take me to your leader’, but Michelle was busy so we had to call you instead.”

curly said...

“Sir, we received urgent orders to probe Uranus.”

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan sent back his plug, sir, and asked if we had anything in a larger size...

Submariner said...

Paint a message on the, uhhh, side like they did in, um, World War II, um, that says "To all Red States, with, uh, extreme malice."

Submariner said...

What harm could he, um, do? Send it, uhh, FedEx and sign the tag, um, "To Mahmoud, love Barry."

Submariner said...

"They're call 'riblets' sir; they afford maximum pleasure upon insertion."
"This is for the, um, American people. Eliminate them."

Submariner said...

"What's this do?"
"DON'T TOUCH THAT BU"

Then the tape goes all snowy, sir...

Steve O said...

"Does it go to 11? Mr President, this baby STARTS at 11."

Steve O said...

Yes, Mr. President, we are following Ms. Pelosi's design specs exactly.

The taxpayers will never know what hit them.

Steve O said...

...Oh, sure, the test subjects do scream and bleed a little bit.

...no, nobody HAS survived, Mr President.

...why yes, Mr President, it DOES remind me of the health care bill a little bit.

Steve O said...

"Well, usually we promise to just put the tip in, and if it hurts then we promise to take it out.

Yes, I know, it's just like the health care bill. You said that already."

Steve O said...

"No, Mr President, it does NOT remind me of any frathouse parties where I passed out and woke up screaming.

Why did you think it might remind me of something like THAT?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You've done a yeoman's job on the nipple caps for my mother-in-law's birthday, Stanley. Yep, she's a big woman. Payment? Coming out of the Secret Service slush fund. Those clowns never notice anything.

-OR-

That fat head Biden could utter another faux pas at any moment and I want this dunce cap ready. Size 105, right?

Matt the K said...

"Yes sir, your Texas Book Suppository is ready."

Rodney Dill said...

Joe Biden's cone-of-silence is just finished Mr. President.

Anonymous said...

A dunce cap proportional to the stupidity of the dunce.

sonicfrog said...

ORA: After conquering the universe with little more than a toilet plunger for so many years, the Daleks FINALLY get an upgrade.

Matt the K said...

The current Leader of the Free World is let it on the most closely held space secret: 'Mork & Mindy' was a documentary; NOT a comedy.

dub said...

Big giant Klan hat? Uh...what big giant Klan hat Mr President?

dub said...

Yes Mr President, we had to repaint the Butler 4000 green a different color after your election.

dub said...

You should see the size of the black one Mr President.

Mr Hankey said...

And with thermonuclear power along with state of the art nano technology, I think this thing will finally get Michelle off.

Mr Hankey said...

We got it from some place called Remulak, apparently it's outside of France. This Baldar guy says it's supposed to allow you to ....shall we say..."take over the world".

dadoctah said...

"So let me get this straight. Once Biden is sealed inside, you just pump in liquid nitrogen and that'll put him in cryogenic suspension until the 2012 Democratic convention?"