Friday, March 12, 2010

A Little Late, But...


1. Anthropologists still do not understand the Canadian Fertility Ritual.

2. The Salute to Jenna Jameson was a highlight of the Vancouver Games.

3. The Lilliputians didn't understand what the prop from The Naked Gun was, but they decided to worship it anyway.

4. Did the Oscars really need a tribute to Jerry Mathers?

5. Inflatable Rubber Beaver. Inflatable Rubber Lumberjack. Come on, guys, you're so-o-o-o-o close!

Threadwinner: Best of GregMan
Maybe if all those lumberjacks hadn't pounded that beaver so much it wouldn't have gotten that big.

Best of Vinney
Thankfully the children didn't understand it, but the symbolism was disgusting as the giant beaver was slid to meet a giant rooster at mid-ice.

Best of blue
Canada's attempted invasion of the USA with their Trojan Beaver failed when it was discovered that all the US troops on the border supported the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Best of dub
Is it too much to ask to have it shaved first?!?

Best of HLam
After mumbling "I'll get that varmint", Bill Murray had an aneurysm.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Charlie Sheen's Thawtbubble: Hey, I recognize that beaver! I woke up in a strange motel room staring at it just a few nights ago.

Best of molson
So that's where Wynona's big brown beaver got off to.

Best of mega
Funny how it only took one guy to drag the beaver before the unions got involved.

Best of Submariner
The story was the same, but the "Faithful carrying the Arc of the Covenant through the wilderness" was retold in a slightly different manner by Canadian educators.


24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thankfully the children didn't understand it, but the symbolism was disgusting as the giant beaver was slid to meet a giant rooster at mid-ice.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

The Ace of Cakes wheels out his masterpiece dessert at the annual Gynecologist's Convention.

Vinney

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Proof positive: Yes, the Beaver has teeth.

Army of Dad said...

Paul Bunyon's beaver.

blue said...

Canada's attempted invasion of the USA with their Trojan Beaver failed when it was discovered that all the US troops on the border supported the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

dub said...

Rosie O'Donnells beaver, shown to scale.

dub said...

Is it too much to ask to have it shaved first?!?

GregMan said...

ORA: "Nice beaver."

Can't believe nobody took that one yet.

Rodney Dill said...

"Think that's a real beaver?"

Rodney Dill said...

Eat a beaver... save a tree.

GregMan said...

Maybe if all those lumberjacks hadn't pounded that beaver so much it wouldn't have gotten that big.

GregMan said...

In logging country, when you're the only beaver in town you can be as big and fat as you want and still get attention from the lumberjacks.

dub said...

The "Giant Beaver" parade float was a huge success in the Hugh Hefner tribute parade.

Andrew Sullivans "Giant Cock" would have been warmly received as well, had a large inflatable rooster been used.

HLam said...

After mumbling "I'll get that varmint", Bill Murray had an aneurysm.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This is why, even in Canada, real men don't watch the Ice Capades.

-OR-

Richard Gere found he needed increasingly powerful prostate stimulation.

-OR-

Charlie Sheen's Thawtbubble: Hey, I recognize that beaver! I woke up in a strange motel room staring at it just a few nights ago.

molson said...

So that's where Wynona's big brown beaver got off to.

dadoctah said...

Meanwhile, at Chucky Cheese corporate HQ, trademark-infringement attorneys suddenly sprang to life.

BradyBunch said...

Im a lumberjack and Im okay, I sleep all night and I work all day. I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shoppin', and have buttered scones for tea!!

sonicfrog said...

ORA "Thanks, I just had it stuffed yesterday..."

mega said...

Funny how it only took one guy to drag the beaver before the unions got involved.

metalgarth said...

The prize for being a Threadwinner @ Caption This! was not what the monors expected.

Rodney Dill said...

Lesser known cousin of Sasquatch is the Giant Snatchsquatch

Steve O said...

Yes, it's a big hairy beaver with a blue box, but it's not exactly what I was looking for.

Submariner said...

The story was the same, but the "Faithful carrying the Arc of the Covenant through the wilderness" was retold in a slightly different manner by Canadian educators.