Monday, March 15, 2010

Lab Work



1. "Lookee me! I'se a scientist! Yee-haw!" ATDHE.

2. When it was explained how the tiny Teleprompter could be implanted in his cornea, the president wet his pants in sheer delight.

3. "Frankly, Mr. President, you're not even qualified to sweep the floors here. Now, please back away from the virulent pathogen."

4. "I guess you're more familiar with the kind of 'lab' people set up in garages and storage units, huh Mr. President?"

5. "Actually, Mr. President, you're thinking of a tele-scope. The 'I can see Uranus' joke really doesn't work here."


Best of Rodney Dill
Obama: "So Biden's brain on the edge of a razor looks just like..."
Scientist: "a pea... rolling down a four... lane... highway..."

Best of Vinney
"Sir, if you look closely, you can see traces of your popularity."

Best of Oiao
Ah, um, auh, which end do I bow to?

Best of GregMan
Hussein looks at the last vestiges of American freedom and liberty.

Best of dub
...and then the other end is embedded deep in your anal cavity. Now look here, and you should be able to see your head.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Obamalama: "Hey, did I just see a little ship go floating past with Dennis Quaid at the helm?"

Best of divine miss m
Stand back; I’m going to try science.

Threadwinner: curly
“Free radicals attack the WHITE blood cells? I like it!”

Best of Steve O
"So, if I look in this thingy here, can I SEE the embyros die?"

Best of Rodney Dill
Obama: "Cool Hookah... Where do I suck?"
Scientist: "Everywhere."

Best of Jay Guevara
"The macrophages acted stupidly."

34 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "So Biden's brain on the edge of a razor looks just like..."
Scientist: "a pea... rolling down a four... lane... highway..."

Rodney Dill said...

"Yessir... if we can see your balls we can reattach them."

Rodney Dill said...

"...no, but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Anonymous said...

"Sir, if you look closely, you can see traces of your popularity."

Vinney

Oiao said...

Ah, um, auh, which end do I bow to?

blue said...

yes, yes, shrinking all the republicans will make their votes count less...yes, yes - health care will now pass

sonicfrog said...

Obama looks everywhere to find enough votes to pass his health care bill...

GregMan said...

"So, um, uh, I can get, duh, Internet pr0n on this, uhhh, thing, right!"

GregMan said...

Hussein looks at the last vestiges of American freedom and liberty.

scotty said...

your going to need this to see your chances at being re-elected

dub said...

...and then the other end is embedded deep in your anal cavity. Now look here, and you should be able to see your head.

curly said...

“This is the strangest looking crack pipe….”

Anonymous said...

"Ha! Limbaugh was wrong! Look! Gibbs does have a brain."

Vinney

censors hip said...

where do I put the quarter?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Alive! It's alive! It's alive!" - Obamalama does his famous Gene Wilder impersonation to an unappreciative audience of one.

-OR-

Dr. Shemp strikes a blow for the Tea Party and nerds everywhere by putting black shoe polish on the eyepiece... but it would be days before anyone at the White House noticed.

-OR-

Obamalama: "Hey, did I just see a little ship go floating past with Dennis Quaid at the helm?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Why...uh...thank you... uh... uh... for letting me ...uh...watch your...uh...small screen ...uh... TV, corpse-man."

Jay Guevara said...

Obama thought bubble: "I bet this is how George Washington Carver got started."

Jay Guevara said...

"Yessir, Mr. President, proof positive that you're 100% white after all. But your secret is safe with me."

Jay Guevara said...

"Don't worry, Mr. President, modern antibiotics can knock out the clap in no time. Do you have an HMO or a PPO?"

Jay Guevara said...

Improved version:

"Yessir, Mr. President, proof positive that you're 100% white after all. Guess the joke's on the electorate, huh?"

divine miss m said...

Stand back; I’m going to try science.

Capt. Queeg said...

"Please don't touch the microscope, Mr. President."
"It's, um, OK, I'm a, um, Nobel laureate."

curly said...

“Free radicals attack the WHITE blood cells? I like it!”

curly said...

President Obama is honored to have a newly discovered intestinal parasite named after him.

Steve O said...

"So, if I look in this thingy here, can I SEE the embyros die?"

Submariner said...

I, um, guess I'll be, uhhh, right here, when my um, laxative kicks in...

Submariner said...

The One's thawt bubble*: "THAT much economy still left? What else can we tax?"




*I know, kind of oxymoronic, but I needed it for the cap.

Submariner said...

BO does his best Organ Grinder's pet impersonation to rave reviews.

Steve O said...

"And you say when we go live I'll be able to control them all from here?"

Steve O said...

Our Dear Leader shows researchers how to cure cancer.

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "Cool Hookah... Where do I suck?"
Scientist: "Everywhere."

Mr Hankey said...

Obama joins the death panel's review of Margaret Wilson's pap smear. Afterwards he decides that she only desrerves some Tylenol.

Jay Guevara said...

"The macrophages acted stupidly."

Jay Guevara said...

"OK, I see the sickle cells. But where are the hammer cells?"