Sunday, March 21, 2010

Kneel, Gaiman



1. "Coach, please... don't leave me like this. It was just one time. I swear he meant nothing to me!"

2. "You used to be an altar boy, didn't you Ricky?"

3. "Oooh! That one was especially pungent. Make some more!"

4. "Please, coach, please let me take these up an inch or two. Your inseam is much too long for these little sausage legs of yours."

5. "I know it was a hard hit, coach, but was it really necessary to perform a field amputation of my lower leg? I'm feeling woozy."

16 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This ain't Quidditch, you ain't no Harry Potter, and feeling me up ain't going to get you benched unless you lift your hand about 6 inches. Get on your feet, go out there and kick Finklestein's ass!

-OR-

Stop hiding from them, you fairy. We know it was an accident, but it did look like you intentionally skewered Kornbluth's eyeball and ran around with it dangling on the handle. Grossed everyone out, I tell you what!

curly said...

Trying to break his physical addiction to Obama speeches, the coach tried everything to simulate that ‘tingle running up my leg’ sensation.

curly said...

Billy works on his “Demon Pass”.

Anonymous said...

Young Eric Massa thought his sports participation would someday help him as a House Representative.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

"Bobby, what the hell are you doing, you little fruitcake? This is why I really need to coach a girl's team."

or

"Bobby, do you like gladiator movies"?

Vinney

curly said...

Billy learns the difference between grid iron and groin iron.

blue said...

Coach, please , please do not send me to teh ObamaCare clinic...I can play with my broken leg...I want to Live!!

dadoctah said...

Mister Roarke and Tattoo participate in a guest's fantasy to relive his high-school sports triumph.

Matt the K said...

Kyle didn't know which was worse, grovelling to the coach for playing time, or the constant drumstick-in-the-ear jabbing from teammate Tyler.

Matt the K said...

"What are you looking at?!!That's right, you better focus on putting your gear on, boy! Nothing to see over here! Hunter, is your backed still turned!!!?? Better be!!"

Coach Benson progressively brazen right up to his arrest in the 3rd quarter.

Matt the K said...

"Catholic Lacrosse League Boys in Trouble", a Samuel L. Bronkowitz Production

dub said...

Bobby, seriously, when I said you needed to drop down and work the shaft, I meant your defensive play.

molson said...

That's good. Now let's say we try a little higher.

Submariner said...

M go blew...



v word - subio - no I don't, I'm debt free.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

After a few early mistakes, Little Timmy went on to become a world class legless pickpocket.

-OR-

We All Have a Little DORF in Us - Coach Willers soon realized that as mascots go, a kid with no legs was a lot funnier to watch than their old 2-headed chicken.

Mr Hankey said...

ObamaCare knee braces