Monday, March 29, 2010

French Fried Tata, Mmmm Hmmmm


1. Lindsey Lohan tries freebasing.

2. Pelosi Motors "Barney Frankmobile" was another flaming success.

3. When the Pistons won it all in 2016, there was very little left in Detroit to set on fire.

4. "Just use the specs from the Ford Pinto, you said. It'll save money, you said."

5. Bollywood couldn't afford the flaming train effect Steve Speilberg used in War of the Worlds, but they did what they could on a budget.

Best of VInney
Onlooking Muslim terrorists snickered, "It must be a woman car bomber."

Best of Double the U
Oh... so that is how you get a Toyota Prius to stop.

Best of GregMan
Another Indian programmer immolates himself upon hearing that Microsoft is no longer hiring.

Best of dadoctah
"Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Oh shit!"

Best of dub
....and this is your penis after a night with Paris Hilton.
Any questions?

Best of molson
Some automakers fail to grasp the concept of internal combustion.

Best of Submariner
ORA: John Rainbird didn't really think through his taunts to Charlie McGhee about how his car is "waaaay hotter than that Ford P.O.S. your dad drives..."

Best of dadoctah
So...Matchbox or Hot Wheels? Which pop-culture reference would be funnier here?

Best of Mr. Right
Worst Marketing Campaign Ever, Grand Prize Winner: The Ford Hindenburg! Oh! The Humanity!

Best of blue
if the death panel rules against you, the ObamaCare ambulance driver pushes the cremate button

Best of Submariner
Looks like that Georgia Crematorium is back open for business again.

Best of Matt the K
"Oh, the banality!!!"

62 comments:

Anonymous said...

Onlooking Muslim terrorists snickered, "It must be a woman car bomber."

Vinney

paul said...

Another staged NBC news segment goes horribly wrong.

Double the U said...

Oh... so that is how you get a Toyota Prius to stop.

GregMan said...

Another Indian programmer immolates himself upon hearing that Microsoft is no longer hiring.

GregMan said...

Biden's motorcade claims another victim.

GregMan said...

The hell of it is, 30 minutes later you feel like setting fire to another car.

curly said...

♪ Oh what a fuel leak! Toyota! ♫

curly said...

Ash for clunkers.

dadoctah said...

"Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Oh shit!"

dub said...

Attention whore.

dub said...

Mallika was out to prove once and for all that she has the hottest ta-ta's in all of India.

Anonymous said...

For the oldtimers:

My Mother the Car started suffering from hot flashes.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

Looks like the Gambino family whacks another tree hugger trying to muscle in on their turf.

Vinney

David said...

No longer a bodacious ta-ta.

David said...

The sequel to "Ghostrider" tried to capture the enviroweenie demographic.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

As the first shiny car rolled out of the assembly plant to patriotic cheering crowds, Liechtenstein Motors' designer Emil Fribling told reporters, "I learned all about planned obsolescence while studying in America."

-OR-

Dmitry Medvedev held his fist in the air and cried, "I swear on my mother's gulag, when malotov cocktail throwing becomes an Olympic sport, we shall win gold!"

-OR-

McDonald's survived the hot coffee incident, but Shelby Dinkle's complaint was ominous - plastic cars and some really hot greasy french fries.

curly said...

Please remember to donate your burning car to the Ignited Negro College Fund.

dub said...

....and this is your penis after a night with Paris Hilton.

Any questions?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Object Lesson #4892: Never carpool with flatulent coworkers.

-OR-

Some enterprising used car huckster is looking at this photo and thinking, "Like new. Still has a new car smell that reminds you of backyard cookouts. Never been involved in a traffic collision. Low mileage unless fuel line ruptures."

-OR-

It got a 5-Star rating!?!? Much like the FDA and big pharma, NHTSA was getting way too cozy with auto manufacturers.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Frustrated PR firm to auto manufacturer: But sir, are you really sure you want us to say, "It's just a minor problem unless you're actually driving the car at the time."

-OR-

The propellent used in the new airbag crash system might need a bit of tweaking.

-OR-

On-Star: Sir, is everyone okay? The GPS device is reporting your location as hell in a handbasket??

mpur said...

Ah, must be springtime in Paris.

mpur said...

Having been told he could no longer batter his women, Ali tries flash frying them instead.

Kaptain Krude said...

Man, the escalation of the old "burning bag of poop on the doorstep trick" is really getting out of hand!

Mr. Right said...

Racing Flame Decals... EPIC FAIL!!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, you passed your immigration test. You are now a French citizen.

Mr. Right said...

The Fantastic 4's Johnny Storm laments yet another lost rental car deposit.

Oiao said...

On the bright side though.....

A car fire the size that a large Hindi operated 7-11 slurpee could put out.

molson said...

Some automakers fail to grasp the concept of internal combustion.

molson said...

Should have stuck with the bicycle.

Army of Dad said...

Well what did you expect when you started using old fry oil for fuel!?

Army of Dad said...

Ghey Transformers.

Steve O said...

Selling features: Bigger on the inside than it looks, and comes with optional "Islamic mode."

Submariner said...

KITT grinned, a hot date tonight for sure!

Steve O said...

Oh great. I'll bet that will do at least $200 dollars worth of damage to my ride.

Steve O said...

So, like, with my last ride I couldn't even pick up 63 yr old lesbians who are into the whole carbon neutral thing.

So I did what I had to do.

Steve O said...

I have been turned down by five greedy, heartless insurance companies who all of a sudden refuse to insure my car against fire damage.

Submariner said...

ORA:

John Rainbird didn't really think through his taunts to Charlie McGhee about how his car is "waaaay hotter than that Ford P.O.S. your dad drives..."

Submariner said...

One Ford exec to another; "Guess we shouldn't have named it Pinto II..."

Dactyl said...

Johnny Storm got lucky in the back seat once. Once.

Dactyl said...

"So is this the new Bluesmobile or what?"

"Fix the cigarette lighter."

dadoctah said...

Dear Click and Clack: My new car is running a little hot....

dadoctah said...

So...Matchbox or Hot Wheels? Which pop-culture reference would be funnier here?

mega said...

I thought they stopped running those Muhammed cartoons.

Mr. Right said...

Worst Marketing Campaign Ever, Grand Prize Winner: The Ford Hindenburg!

Adriane said...

Apu, I know you loved that car ... but cremating and scattering its ashes in the Ganges just isn't done back in the old country.

Rodney Dill said...

Cheech and Chong... ur doin it rong

Rodney Dill said...

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night, set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey the gas pedal came unstuck..."

Rodney Dill said...

Bodacious...

Rodney Dill said...

"SMMMMMMMOKIN'"

blue said...

if the death panel rules against you, the ObamaCare ambulance driver pushes the cremate button

dadoctah said...

I didn't know cars could be suttee.

My goal in life: at least once, send everyone on the planet scrambling for Wikipedia.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Not surprisingly, when news broke that the new Incinerator had an overheating engine problem, drive-thru lanes at warranty service centers weren't exactly packed.

Submariner said...

Looks like that Georgia Crematorium is back open for business again.




v word - wamscuri - what happens when you miss the cockroach with your shoe.

Submariner said...

Dissapointed Muslims - When your car-bomb only ignites and doesn't make the Ka-boom sound...

Matt the K said...

Opel's new HindenKar was a real flash in the pan.

Matt the K said...

"Oh, the banality!!!"

Matt the K said...

"On second thought, maybe we shouldn't have made the interior out of driftwood, oily rags, and hydrogen".

dub said...

How nature says "Dont Buy".

Mr. Right said...

A Hunk-o Hunk-o Burnin' Love Bug

sonicfrog said...

That car is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gay!

Mr. Hankey said...

Justin Bieber's new CD hits the amrket.