Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Delinquent Bills

Brender


1. His experience with selling a bloated, expensive product that was hated by the people who would, nevertheless, be forced to use it ... made Gates a natural to pitch the Democrats' Health Care Plan.

2. Clinton never forgave Gates for the 8 terabytes of fat-girl pron he lost when he installed Windows 7.

3. "The Illuminati have voted. Monique will win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Next item on the agenda, the assassination of Barack Obama."

4. Whenever Clinton got bored, he liked to fantasize about watching Janet Reno burn people alive.

5. Clinton never forgave Gates for not investing in his shrimp company.

Best of GregMan
Bill Gates: "...and not only have we replaced all our American programmers with cheap Indian H1-B's, adding billions to our bottom line, but we have outsourced the Presidency of the United States to a Kenyan."

Best of blue
Clinton thought bubble: "...that squirrelly little sh*t has more money than me, I think I'll ask B. Hussein to raise his taxes!"

Best of HLam
Clinton thought bubble: "...all that money and he can't buy a decent comb?"

Best of Submariner
SCANNERS II: Coming to a theatre near you this summer.

Best of Vinney
Clinton Thought Bubble: "Enough of this talk about business practices. Let's talk about titties."

Best of mega
The new tool was not yet effective. Private sector leaders only turned fuzzy instead of disappearing. Their wealth ended up in limbo instead of being deposited into Treasury accounts. Further testing was required.

Threadwinner: dadoctah
"It looks like you're trying to bore everybody to death. Would you like help?"

Best of molson
I unloaded a ton of leftover Vista installs on the RNC. Charged them double too. You won't have to worry about them hassling you anymore.

Best of Mr Hankey
Bill hated this speech when it was in "Revenge of the Nerds" too.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Warren Buffett, George Soros and I have had enough of this Obama clown. We've decided to reinstall Bill Clinton as President, effective immediately."

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clinton Thought Bubble: "Boy, if I had his monety, think of all the ugly girls I could screw."

Vinney

GregMan said...

Clinton thought bubble: "Yeah, I'd hit that. It still beats Hillary."

GregMan said...

Clinton thought bubble: "Where's a blocked coronary artery when you need one?"

GregMan said...

Bill Gates: "...and not only have we replaced all our American programmers with cheap Indian H1-B's, adding billions to our bottom line, but we have outsourced the Presidency of the United States to a Kenyan."

blue said...

Clinton thought bubble: "...that squirrelly little sh*t has more money than me, I think I'll ask B. Hussein to raise his taxes!"

HLam said...

Clinton thought bubble: "...all that money and he can't buy a decent comb?"

Silhouette said...

If Bill Gates is involved in a scandal, will we call it Gatesgate?

Submariner said...

SCANNERS II
Coming to a theatre near you this summer.

Submariner said...

Bubba thought bubble; "Musta had the jalapeno chile at lunch..."

Submariner said...

Bubba thought bubble; "Wonder what I'd have to pay to do a wife swap?"

Submariner said...

Bubba thought bubble; "Wonder if he'd like to share a cigar after the meeting?"

Anonymous said...

Clinton Thought Bubble:
"Enough of this talk about business practices. Let's talk about titties."

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Where Will You Be When the Rage Kicks In?
Photo was taken a split second before Hillary's long overdue left hook to the jaw finds its target.

-OR-

Bubbathawtbubble: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bubbathawtbubble: This dipweed has a hot wife and a net worth of $53billion. Obamalama got a Nobel Prize and a wife who keeps carnival tent makers fully employed. I got a BJ and fuzzy memories of toking weed at Oxford. Gotta keep it all in perspective.

dadoctah said...

Thought bubble: "Y'all shor got a purty mouth."

What? It's Tuesday, isn't it?

mega said...

"... and so I'm donating $30 billion of my own money to help diadvantaged kids around the world get laptops so they'll need Windows and Office upgrades for the next fifty years..." Clinton's fund-raiser for Haiti and other actual causes was going more slowly than expected.

mega said...

Democrats contracted with Gates to be the exclusive publisher of the Health Care Bill, in octal.

mega said...

The new tool was not yet effective. Private sector leaders only turned fuzzy instead of disappearing. Their wealth ended up in limbo instead of being deposited into Treasury accounts. Further testing was required.

mega said...

thought bubble: There's nothing quite like an Aspen Institute conference on interconnected global economies. This is just pure heat. Can't wait for Thomas Friedman's speech.

dadoctah said...

"It looks like you're trying to bore everybody to death. Would you like help?"

molson said...

I unloaded a ton of leftover Vista installs on the RNC. Charged them double too. You won't have to worry about them hassling you anymore.

curly said...

“…and instead of someone like Monica Lewinski or even a vacuum cleaner, President Clinton can now use the suckfest we call Windows Vista to relieve himself.”

curly said...

Master Gates meets MasturBates.

curly said...

“We now refer to the infamous Windows ‘blue screen of death' as our built-in ‘Vince Foster screen saver’.”

Mr Hankey said...

Bill hated this speech when it was in "Revenge of the Nerds" too.

blue said...

".. and to answer Clinton's question, no - I do not do a Monica Lewinsky impersonation....stop asking!"

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "I wonder if he gets much..."

Jay Guevara said...

"Warren Buffett, George Soros and I have had enough of this Obama clown. We've decided to reinstall Bill Clinton as President, effective immediately."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Alternate explanation for why Clinton's called "old poke her face."

-OR-

Well, using Mr. Clinton's creative definitions, I can say with a straight face that Vista has NOT screwed the public.

Steve O said...

As Gates gets more technical, Clinton starts to actually feel himself aging.