Friday, March 26, 2010

Chris Tucker Has Really Let Himself Go

Sondra K

1. "I knew Jackie Chan! You ain't no Jackie Chan."

2. "And one more thing, V the K. I don't appreciate your trying to squeeze humor out of offensive stereotypes about black women!"

3. Generic Caption #64: "No,*you* smell my finger!"

4. Teh Gheys and Lesbians argue bitterly over the merits of "Tastes Great" and "Less Filling."

5. In 2020, ObamaCare paid for Marcelus Owens's sex change. He was still angry, though.


Best of dub
Make believe gun fight!!! Pew pew pew, pew!! BANG BANG! Gotcha!!

Best of GregMan
The debate between Old Navy and Aeropostale shoppers grew ever closer to violence.

Best of Mr. Hankey
"Don't Go Breaking My Heart" "I couldn't if I tried"

Best of Submariner
Looks like Huggy Bear isn't happy that Starsky forgot the graft...

Best of curly
“…and tell them a-holes at Match.com that I want my money back!”

Best of mega
In Episode 6 of The Marriage Ref, Kenisha and Dave argue about whether it was wrong to microwave the ferret, while guest-panel member Julia Louis-Dryfus tries to look like this isn't the single most embarrassingly painful TV moment of her entire life.

Best of Adriane
"Tiger loves me best!"
"Who cares? He paid me more to keep quiet!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Canadians are lining up to touch Justin Bieber.

36 comments:

Oiao said...

From the Left: "Michell's ass is not fat, Cracker!"

From the Right: "Then why are they making the doors wider at the White House?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I came to this concert with a full head of hair and YOU sucked it cleam off trying to catch a few damned mosquitoes?!? I'll sue!
Don't you dare sue dis city, white boy. I could lose ma job over dis sitchatation! Yo hair'll grow back. Jobs like mobile skeeter catchers don't grow on trees... dey gots ta be invented by creative liberal politicians... and dey's be getting scarcer den hen's teeth!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Your mouth is a deadly weapon. Do you have a permit and training to be a mobile mosquito catcher?
Hey, now, dat little girl done jumped in my mouth accidental like, and anyways she wuz mostly skin and bones. Besides, I's be giving her parents back whatever's not gettin digested. Now are you gonna quiet down or do I suck yo hair roots out next?

WordVerify: ventses - When political pundits skewer The Precioussss, he ventses.

Anonymous said...

An astonished and upset fan couldn't believe it was RuPaul without his make-up.

Vinney

dub said...

Make believe gun fight!!! Pew pew pew, pew!! BANG BANG! Gotcha!!

dub said...

The perils of sexual encounters illustrated. On the right, his was clearly in the pink. On the left, hers was in the stink.

Any questions?

dub said...

Boy dontchoo be tellin Kobe dat you's is open. I gots here first.

GregMan said...

"You get off my lawn!"

"No, you get off my lawn!"

Laqueefla and Todd prepare for old age.

GregMan said...

"You teabagging crackers and you violent threats! I'se gone kill you all and grind your bloody white bodies into the dirt!"

Strangely, all the MSM reported was the white guy shouting back "Oh yeah?".

GregMan said...

The debate between Old Navy and Aeropostale shoppers grew ever closer to violence.

molson said...

Neolib: Guess where my finger has been in the last five minutes.

Neocon: I think I'm pointing to the general area.

Army of Dad said...

Janeane Garofalo ignores the basis for the argument and simply asks "See what George Bush hath wrought?!"

Mr. Hankey said...

"Don't Go Breaking My Heart" "I couldn't if I tried"

Mr. Hankey said...

"The Fickle Finger of Fate" vs "The Who You Talkin' To Cracker Wagging Finger"

Robert said...

Canadians enjoying the fruits of diversity.

paul said...

Ebony and Ivory, the Protest years.

blue said...

I didn't asks you to suck my finger, you silly goose....

Submariner said...

Looks like Huggy Bear isn't happy that Starsky forgot the graft...

Submariner said...

De Pres'dunt say you HAS ta smell my finner, cracker!


ATDHE-A

Submariner said...

Dennis Quaid finds a great choice to give him his proctological exam...

Submariner said...

In unison; "I only have ONE nerve left and you're getting on it!"

Submariner said...

♪Babe; I got you babe! ♪

curly said...

Lady in Red: “Must. Have. Girl. With. Long. Finger.”

curly said...

“…and tell them a-holes at Match.com that I want my money back!”

curly said...

“Sorry, ugly biyatch. I thought you was Obama in drag.”

dub said...

Woman: "Stupid ideas all up in yo head."

Man: "Hey, nice boobs!"

Double the U said...

HER: They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow
HIM: Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

HIM: Babe
BOTH: I got you babe
I got you babe

Double the U said...

Whooops, I see Submariner beat me to it.

mega said...

In Episode 6 of The Marriage Ref, Kenisha and Dave argue about whether it was wrong to microwave the ferret, while guest-panel member Julia Louis-Dryfus tries to look like this isn't the single most embarrassingly painful TV moment of her entire life.

Submariner said...

"You got chocolate in my peanut butter!"
"No, YOU got peanut butter on my chocolate!"

Jay Guevara said...

"Less filling!"

"Tastes great!"

Adriane said...

"Tiger loves me best!"

"Who cares? He paid me more to keep quiet!"

Festivus said...

A beleaguered onlooker asked, "Can't we all get a schlong?"

Steve O said...

Whitey seems confident in his position, but unsure whether he'll get slapped or not.

Mr. Hankey said...

The scene at the national convention of "People Who Haven't Washed Their Fingers Since 1988" gets testy.

Mr. Hankey said...

Folks are lining up to touch Justin Bieber.