1. Why you should never mouth off to your face-painter.
2. "So, guys, you didn't do anything to me while I was drunk, did you?"
3. A generation of teenage girls had their gaydar permanently scrambled by Twilight and so Billy's plea for help went unnoticed.
4. Dad scoffed, "I have no son... er... daughter... whatever the hell you are, I don't have you."
5. "Y'know kid, I kinda wanna sign you up with eHarmony just to see who the f--k they pair you off with."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Long before today's generation of brainless pathetic wiggers, there were... windians.
Best of Submariner
Evidently, Skeletor had a love child with Tammy Faye...
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"But Mom, I don't WANNA wear the hoodie Gramma gave me! It makes me look weird!"
Best of Barco Sin Vela II
"Grandma Stacia; Lemmy just called and said Hawkwind was gettin' back together, on tour. Can I go?!"
Best of Matt the K
Even Skeletor hates Skeletor sometimes.
Best of Dactyl
The voodoo priestess of Sherman Oaks was not what you might expect.
Best of molson
And to think people thought Teletubbies didn't f@ck with kids minds.
Best of metalgarth
King Diamond's kids really had no idea what to rebel against
Best of Steve O
SWF. Seeking same. Loves art, rainbows, incomprehensible symbolism.