Friday, February 05, 2010

Snuggleburgers

Brender

1. "Oh, Bessie, you were incredible ... I'm spent!"

2. Carly Fiorina's new attack ad depicts Tom Campbell taking the form of a bull and molesting children.

3. Tommy would grow up inexplicably infatuated with Rosie O'Donnell.

4. The Franks were mystified why Tommy always hid in the barn whenever Uncle Barney came to visit.

5. "Well, before you go to the Hormel plant, at least we can have one last night together."

Best of molson
Due to the high concentrations of methane, Timmy knew the obligatory post coital cigarette was a bad idea so he settled for a little snuggle instead.

Best of blue
Timmy fell asleep knowing that he would have to explain this to Lassie.....

Best of dadoctah
"You had me at 'yee-haw'."

Best of GregMan
Tommy had an amazing dream once Bessie began chewing her cud.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The censors removed all references to this particular day on Old MacDonald's Farm from the childrens book of nursery songs. ee i ee i o

Best of dub
So get this, last night I had a dream that I was getting a BJ from Michelle Obama.

Best of Rodney Dill
California legislature contemplates Hay Couple Marriage.

Best of Mr. Hankey
What's more embarassing than having your mother walk in while you're m*st*rb*t*ng?

16 comments:

molson said...

Due to the high concentrations of methane, Timmy knew the obligatory post coital cigarette was a bad idea so he settled for a little snuggle instead.

blue said...

Timmy fell asleep knowing that he would have to explain this to Lassie.....

dadoctah said...

"You had me at 'yee-haw'."

GregMan said...

How To Speak Enumclaw: "Sleepover"

GregMan said...

Tommy had an amazing dream once Bessie began chewing her cud.

GregMan said...

The Ang Lee remake of "Animal Farm" somehow missed the point of George Orwell's original.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

PETA MOTTO: And so it came to pass that the sheep lay down with the lions and the cows lay down with the McDonald's and Burger King patrons. Amen

-OR-

The censors removed all references to this particular day on Old MacDonald's Farm from the childrens book of nursery songs. ee i ee i o

-OR-

All 483 Guernsey's in the milking shed broke wind (farted) simultaneously... and farmhands and paramedics alike will be talking about it for a long, long time. "Huh? Wha happened? Where am I?"

dub said...

So get this, last night I had a dream that I was getting a BJ from Michelle Obama.

Anonymous said...

The real reason Mrs. O'Leary's cow kick over the latern.

Vinney

Dactyl said...

Ee eye ee eye ho.

Dactyl said...

After the Playgirl shoot Levi Johnston got all kinds of tail.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Timmy learned that the Iowa Mafia aren't content just to leave a horse's head next to you as a warning about overdue library books.

WordVerify: pikers - cheapskates, skinflints, pennypinchers, et al

Rodney Dill said...

California legislature contemplates Hay Couple Marriage.

Double the U said...

You sick people and your bestiality have it all wrong... he is just chewing the flies off the back of the cow's ears.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Daisy's Thawtbubble: "Oh Johnny, you always fall right to sleep afterwards! Haven't you heard of cow tipping? A girl's gotta have some walking around money. Clover doesn't grow on trees, you know."

Mr. Hankey said...

What's more embarassing than having your mother walk in while you're m*st*rb*t*ng?