1. "No arugula! For every sprig of arugula I find... I shall kill you."
2. "Whoa! Look who finally found a job he's qualified at. Church's Chicken must be so proud."
3. "Ummm, genius, you *did* see the 'Employees Must Wash Hands Sign' in the men's room? 'Cos there's a big hunk of Charmin 2-ply hanging off your shirtcuff."
4. "I don't know which is weirder, the cardboard cutout of Jason Bateman, or the picture of MLK being attacked by a Goa'uld symbiote."
5. "You must have really pissed off the chef to get that shiv in your neck, Mr. President."
Best of dub
The glove? Oh, I just got done fisting the American public.
Best of Vinney
"Mr. Soros says if I get Health Care passed I can work the fries station."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Token white employee "Goofy Shirley" silently prays that the prince charming behind her brought along a glass slipper. She is so tired of cleaning sneeze guards.
Best of Silhouette
"If anyone asks, you're now employed as a Food Quality Inspector. This meal is your yearly salary and it's worth $200,000." Obama creates or saves another job.
Best of molson
Thank you. That will be $25,000. It does come with a complimentary side of substandard healthcare so it's quite a deal I think.
Best of Kaptain Krude
"Um, Mr. President, aren't you supposed to take the clothes hanger out of the shirt before you wear it? Just asking, that's all."
Best of Dactyl
Evander Holyfield thought bubble: "Man, now there's some ears Tyson could sink his teeth into!"
Best of Jay Guevara
Guy on left: "It's a pleasure to meet a fellow editor of the Harvard Law Review."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Thanks to your economic miracle, Mr. President, my Toyota got repossessed before it got recalled."
Best of Rodney Dill
"No soup for you!"