Monday, February 08, 2010

Small Portions

Brender

1. "No arugula! For every sprig of arugula I find... I shall kill you."

2. "Whoa! Look who finally found a job he's qualified at. Church's Chicken must be so proud."

3. "Ummm, genius, you *did* see the 'Employees Must Wash Hands Sign' in the men's room? 'Cos there's a big hunk of Charmin 2-ply hanging off your shirtcuff."

4. "I don't know which is weirder, the cardboard cutout of Jason Bateman, or the picture of MLK being attacked by a Goa'uld symbiote."

5. "You must have really pissed off the chef to get that shiv in your neck, Mr. President."

Best of dub
The glove? Oh, I just got done fisting the American public.

Best of Vinney
"Mr. Soros says if I get Health Care passed I can work the fries station."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Token white employee "Goofy Shirley" silently prays that the prince charming behind her brought along a glass slipper. She is so tired of cleaning sneeze guards.

Best of Silhouette
"If anyone asks, you're now employed as a Food Quality Inspector. This meal is your yearly salary and it's worth $200,000." Obama creates or saves another job.

Best of molson
Thank you. That will be $25,000. It does come with a complimentary side of substandard healthcare so it's quite a deal I think.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Um, Mr. President, aren't you supposed to take the clothes hanger out of the shirt before you wear it? Just asking, that's all."

Best of Dactyl
Evander Holyfield thought bubble: "Man, now there's some ears Tyson could sink his teeth into!"

Best of Jay Guevara
Guy on left: "It's a pleasure to meet a fellow editor of the Harvard Law Review."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Thanks to your economic miracle, Mr. President, my Toyota got repossessed before it got recalled."

Best of Rodney Dill
"No soup for you!"

25 comments:

Double the U said...

yah yah yah, your glad to meet me, whatever... That will be $3.50, unless you want a drink, then it's $4.50

Jay Guevara said...

"You want fries with that?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Congratulations, Barack, I hear you got promoted up from fry cook!"

dub said...

Happy MLK Day to you too. He had a dream, you got chicken and greens.

dub said...

The glove? Oh, I just got done fisting the American public.

dub said...

You look bigger on TV Mr. Shaq. Oh....sorry. You people all look the same to me.

Passionate Conservative said...

Who the f*ck is that shacking hands with Michael Irvin?

Anonymous said...

"Mr. Soros says if I get Health Care passed I can work the fries station."

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Photo Op - Anybody need a good comparison between Obamalama and (wild guess here) a dark skinned man with a heavy negro dialect?

-OR-

POTUS Thawtbubble - Hope the idiots guarding me remembered to FRISK this guy. WTF?!? Leroy? Weird, psychotic cousin LEROY? Great, all the agents choose this time to step out for a smoke!!

Homeless guy thawtbubble - My man, you shake like a sissy. Heh heh, don't worry, they frisked me... but they didn't de-lice me, and you won't believe where this hand's been!

Simultaneous thawtbubble - It's 8-degrees outdoors and this blue plate special is supposed to keep [you/me] alive til morning?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

10 million losing their homes and life savings to fat cat gambling bankers... unbelievable.
40 million LEGAL citizens uninsured... unbelievable.
Upwards of 50 million US citizens going hungry... unbelievable.
Obamalama personally helping them all... yeah, that's believable.

-OR-

Token white employee "Goofy Shirley" silently prays that the prince charming behind her brought along a glass slipper. She is so tired of cleaning sneeze guards.

blue said...

I hopes da half honkey din'nat spit ons da foods

Silhouette said...

"If anyone asks, you're now employed as a Food Quality Inspector. This meal is your yearly salary and it's worth $200,000." Obama creates or saves another job.

molson said...

Thank you. That will be $25,000. It does come with a complimentary side of substandard healthcare so it's quite a deal I think.

Jay Guevara said...

Guy on left: "Tiger - you da man!"

Mr. Hankey said...

What a wimp-ass handshake...

Mr. Hankey said...

Disney's "The Pres and the Pauper" - Unable to escape to NYC with his wife for an evening on the town - the Pres meets a hobo on the street and arranges a plan to switch places. You'll laugh & cry."

dadoctah said...

I can't believe it took them 34 years to make a sequel to "Car Wash".

Kaptain Krude said...

"Um, Mr. President, aren't you supposed to take the clothes hanger out of the shirt before you wear it? Just asking, that's all."


wv: louse - I am now convinced the word generator is self-aware and is now doing social commentary on these pictures.

Dactyl said...

Evander Holyfield thought bubble: "Man, now there's some ears Tyson could sink his teeth into!"

Jay Guevara said...

Guy on left: "It's a pleasure to meet a fellow editor of the Harvard Law Review."

Jay Guevara said...

Guy on left: "Hey, it's cool. I haven't published anything either."

Jay Guevara said...

"Thanks for hookin' me up with that Indonesian soul food, brutha!"

Jack Reacher said...

"I voted for you, like, nine times! ACORN says I get dinner every night now, on them."

Jack Reacher said...

"Thanks to your economic miracle, Mr. President, my Toyota got repossessed before it got recalled."

Rodney Dill said...

"No soup for you!"