Saturday, February 20, 2010

Saturday Open Mike Night

Hat Tip: Sonic Frog



Threadwinner Best of Vinney
Exclusive pictures of the John Murtha autopsy.

Best of David
The Wii Sh*t was a huge hit at the Enumclaw Consumer Electronics Show.

Best of Dactyl
Honey, have you seen my keys?

Best of Submariner
Defying convention yet again, Andrew Sullivan put his lawn jockey in the living room.

Best of Submariner
But what was really amusing was how Darla continuously hummed "Oh, Dear, What Can THe Matter Be" while she experimented with colon probe techniques.

Best of dadoctah
See, now *this* is the reason I stopped watching Ace Of Cakes....

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Despite mixed reactions from patients, veterinarians looking for new sources of revenue are rushing to buy the new cola machine for their lobbies.

Best of Jack Reacher
Darla failed her veterinary technician exam when she diagnosed the patient with an enlarged prostate, failing to realize the entire front half of the patient was missing.

Best of Jack Reacher
It's good to see that funding for the NEA has remained intact.

Best of racerboy
Horribly tacky home decor. I mean, that peppermint-stripe pattern is so 90's!

Best of The Watcher
All right, if I didn't leave the remote here, whereinthehe** did I put it?

Best of Rodney Dill
"FRAU BLUCHER!!!!"

Best of Double the U
You asked for a pony, now shut up!

Best of curly
“So much lube for a simple child’s game?” asked the maid while preparing for Elton John’s pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey party.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Amateur," Sully snorted.

52 comments:

David said...

The Wii Sh*t was a huge hit at the Enumclaw Consumer Electronics Show.

Whacko said...

Another worthless government research project finds, unexpectedly, that there are more horses asses in the world than horses.

Dactyl said...

Honey, have you seen my keys?

Submariner said...

Defying convention yet again, Andrew Sullivan put his lawn jockey in the living room.

Submariner said...

Practising how to get the best possible time at the Preakness...

Submariner said...

But what was really amusing was how Darla continuously hummed "Oh, Dear, What Can THe Matter Be" while she experimented with colon probe techniques.

Submariner said...

So, like, where's Waldo, and sh!t?

Anonymous said...

Someone needs to tell liberals that when they are up to their elbows in jackass, they should rethink their political support, before things get really ugly.

Eric

dadoctah said...

See, now *this* is the reason I stopped watching Ace Of Cakes....

dadoctah said...

Worst. Pez dispenser. Ever.

jj said...

Detroit City Council looks for more of that obama cash...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Despite mixed reactions from patients, veterinarians looking for new sources of revenue are rushing to buy the new cola machine for their lobbies.

-OR-

The holographic horsie butt is used to desensitize new students to one of the less desirable aspects of veterinary medicine. The smell-o-vision option was a practical joke hack by the computer sciences dept.

-OR-

Factoid: When one of these was installed in the Capitol Rotunda for a Candid Camera episode, 100% of Congressman who passed by got their heads stuck in the thing looking for payola.

Jack Reacher said...

Darla failed her veterinary technician exam when she diagnosed the patient with an enlarged prostate, failing to realize the entire front half of the patient was missing.

Jack Reacher said...

Songwriters go "back to the well" for song ideas. Where do writers of Hollywood anti-military screenplays go? Ah, I see.

Jack Reacher said...

It's good to see that funding for the NEA has remained intact.

Jack Reacher said...

Oh, Wilbur!

Jack Reacher said...

"Where da white horses at?"

mega said...

Well, at least now we know the Training Center For Taxpayer Relations at the Treasury Dept. isn't an urban legend.

racerboy said...

Horribly tacky home decor. I mean, that peppermint-stripe pattern is so 90's!

verif word: branta - Have you had your branta day?

racerboy said...

A visual explanation of how I got through all those engineering finals...

Anonymous said...

Home schooling vets...not the greatest idea.

Vinney

Anonymous said...

Exclusive pictures of the John Murtha autopsy.

Vinney

Jay Guevara said...

Budding journalists had to pay their dues by interviewing Bawney Fwank.

The Watcher said...

All right, if I didn't leave the remote here, whereinthehe** did I put it?

blue said...

No, No, Nanette, you get into the horse costume through the other side, not by crawling up his arse hole

Rodney Dill said...

How veteranarians hide Easter eggs.

Rodney Dill said...

"FRAU BLUCHER!!!!"

Rodney Dill said...

Them road apples ain't ripe yet.

Rodney Dill said...

Probed hard and put away wet.

Rodney Dill said...

Today the Obama Administration announced its plans to train aliens... and we don't think he meant illegal immigrants from other countries.

Anonymous said...

Under the guise of artificial insemination the kinky vet was really into fisting phillies.

Vinney

Double the U said...

"Wiiiiiiiiiiii!"

David said...

"Did you see how that horse was standing there? She was ASKING for it!"

Submariner said...

ACORN trains another recruit on where to obtain voting instructions...

Submariner said...

The DNC appears to still be looking for Franken-votes.

Submariner said...

Oprah on another diet?

Jay Guevara said...

"I got your 'Hope' and 'Change' right here."

wv: shnup (somehow seemed appropriate)

Rodney Dill said...

Liberal dental class

Rodney Dill said...

"OK Kobe, she's open"

Julie the Jarhead said...

Barney Frank joke, Andrew Sullivan joke, or Richard Gere joke? I hate making such important decisions on Mondays.

Double the U said...

You asked for a pony, now shut up!

curly said...

Up next on CPAN’s “Inside The Government”: An Obama aide digs deep for new leftist legislation that will further the demise of the evil petit-bourgeois Amerikkkan middle class.

curly said...

Michelle Obama visits the dentist.

curly said...

“So much lube for a simple child’s game?” asked the maid while preparing for Elton John’s pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey party.

curly said...

From the AP newswire: A statue of Barack Obama as a boy was placed late Sunday night at the Jakarta elementary school the U.S. president once attended, after its display in a public park prompted backlash in the Indonesia capital.

molson said...

Nice lunch box.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Amateur," Sully snorted.



wv: collogen - Wrong end for that.

Rodney Dill said...

Vet mailbox

dub said...

Americans outsource to Asia.

Asians outsource to Enumclaw.

blue said...

Acron used their new funding to train volunteers on how to tell the difference between a horse's ass & a liberal

Submariner said...

Liberal training on how to stimulate a package.

Rodney Dill said...

"Dang..... how did Grandpa's teeth get in here again."