1. Sullivan's Google Image Search for "Obama's back door" was his most disappointing to date.
2. The Dalai Lama walks past the Democrat Party's last vestiges of decency and responsibility.
3. Misunderstanding Oscar Wilde's final words, the Lama decided both he and the curtains would have to go.
4. "Wow! The Safe School Czar sure does go through a lot of Kleenex and Boy's Life magazines."
5. "Yuck! Ultra-tight jeans. Latex body stockings. Empty tubes of hair gel. Eiffel 65 CD's. Gauloises cigarette packs. The White House really has been taken over by Euro-trash."
Best of BigdaddyNick
Obama still hasn't received full consciousness. Even though the polls show him on his death bed.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
My shoes are untied! Ha ha ha, I can't tell you how many times I've heard that one.
Best of Mr. Hankey
He kept saying "I thought you guys were hairier" and that he was scared "I was going to spit at him?"
Best of Submariner
♪ Hello, Dali. Well hello, Dali.
It's so nice to have you in back, where you belong...♪