Tuesday, February 09, 2010

OK, So Now People Are Just TRYING to Get on Cap This!


1. I told you you didn't want to know how Cadbury creme eggs were made.

2. Roget's new Picto-Thesaurus was one of the publishing success stories of 2010.

3. As the sheep shortage worsened, small farming communities became increasingly desperate.

4. Billy was determined not to be alone on Valentine's Day.

5. In a surprise development, Congressman Barney Frank announced today he would retire in 2010 to run a chicken farm in Enumclaw.

Best of Silhouette
Disney presents a heartwarming tale of a boy, his rooster, and a Kentucky Derby victory no one ever thought to see.

Best of Silhouette
Free range chickens don't necessarily lead happier lives.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Scenes from the Alabama Sex Addiction Farm.

Best of sonicfrog
Well, this certainly puts a whole new wrinkle into the age old question of "which came first"...

Best of Double the U
The "normal" twin on Little People Big World isn't all that normal.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"But Army of Mom, you said I could have a chance with you if I would show you my cock!"

Best of Dactyl
So I got this email that said it could make my cock bigger, but...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
To the farmer who informed me that chickens go cluck, not kwaaak, I would only ask how you know what they sound like when they're being clucked by a horny teen?

Best of Army of Mom
Pretending to be a rodeo cowboy made Randy feel better about lasting only 8 seconds.

Best of Chad
"Hey Mr. Frank! Watch me ride this cock!!"

Best of Mr. Right
ORA: Despite Officer Barbrady's best efforts, he fails to finish Teetle the Timid Taxidermist in time to save Myrtle from the clutches of the dreaded Chickenlover!

36 comments:

Silhouette said...

Disney presents a heartwarming tale of a boy, his rooster, and a Kentucky Derby victory no one ever thought to see.

Silhouette said...

Free range chickens don't necessarily lead happier lives.

Silhouette said...

You'd cross the road too.

Silhouette said...

Well, now we know at least one herb and/or spice.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

If "Reality TV" ran rodeos...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The EPA, FDA and agro-chem PACs vigorously deny that hormones, antibiotics and herbicides in drinking water have any connection whatsoever to reports of unusual tumors growing in adolescent 4-H members' crotches.

-OR-

UPDATE: Since Henry's making money selling eggs, Obamalama's praising contaminated water for lowering unemployment numbers and posits that high fiber diets might contribute to renewable resources for the brick and block industry.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Just call it Mustang Ranch 2
Young MacDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o. And on that farm he did the chicken, e-i-e-i-o. With a kwaaaak! kwaaak! here and a kwaaaak! kwaaak! there, here a kwaaaak! there a kwaaaak! everywhere a kwaaaak! kwaaak!
(meanwhile, Billy's still in the barn with the cow and the horse is getting verrry nervous)

WordVerify: pigize - How Murtha's lustful gaze at the public trough used to be described. Shelby and the rest of the crooks have that look, too.

HLam said...

"Choking the Chicken" - you're doin it rong!

Mr. Hankey said...

Just a bunch of cock and bull.

Mr. Hankey said...

Scenes from the Alabama Sex Addiction Farm.

Mr. Hankey said...

2015 - French ticklers become passe.

sonicfrog said...

Well, this certainly puts a whole new wrinkle into the age old question of "which came first"...

Rodney Dill said...

erotic - a feather
kinky - the whole chicken

GregMan said...

Then the rooster got to work with his claws and suddenly it wasn't funny any more.

GregMan said...

A young Dub decides chickens are just too fat.

Double the U said...

The "normal" twin on Little People Big World isn't all that normal.

Unscrupulous said...

Seth was tired of being accused of going off half cocked.

Kaptain Krude said...

"But Army of Mom, you said I could have a chance with you if I would show you my cock!"


(with apologies to AoM)

molson said...

The transplant was a success!

Dactyl said...

So I got this email that said it could make my cock bigger, but...

Unscrupulous said...

Peckerhead!

dub said...

Hey baby, wanna pluck my cock?

dub said...

You'll never get the beer can in it later, if you dont loosen it up now.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Competing with Levi isn't easy - An Old Navy representative admits, "Our chicken fly alternative to their button fly jeans hasn't gained much traction, and now PETA's on our ass."

-OR-

Hindsight being 20/20, Timmy expressed dismay over the photo going viral; but says he's relieved his pals arrived late and didn't take one of him doing it commando... as that would have been harder to explain to the chicken's parents.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

To the farmer who informed me that chickens go cluck, not kwaaak, I would only ask how you know what they sound like when they're being clucked by a horny teen?

Anonymous said...

Fred was hung like a Rhode Island Red.

Vinney

dadoctah said...

What happens in Iowa stays in Iowa.

Anonymous said...

Keith Olbermann finally gets laid.

Vinney

Mr. Right said...

ORA: Next, in a Fox 5 Exclusive: Nick takes Ernie's advice to heart

Unscrupulous said...

You've crossed the road fer the last time you chicken bastard!

Unscrupulous said...

OMG. Double Pits to Cocksty!

Rodney Dill said...

...but Julia Child said the bird is better stuffed.

molson said...

Neal would play with his cock for hours at a time until the poor thing got so tired it would just go limp.

Army of Mom said...

Pretending to be a rodeo cowboy made Randy feel better about lasting only 8 seconds.

Chad said...

"Hey Mr. Frank! Watch me ride this cock!!"

Mr. Right said...

ORA: Despite Officer Barbrady's best efforts, he fails to finish Teetle the Timid Taxidermist in time to save Myrtle from the clutches of the dreaded Chickenlover!