Monday, February 22, 2010

Hard Hats and ... Idiot.


1. In a further effort to revive the decadent seventies vibe at the White House, PBO begins auditions for the New Village People.

2. PBO explains how sinking $3,000,000 in stimulus funds into a Village People Museum will create or save 60 jobs.

3. PBO was happy to host SNL, but disappointed when asked to reprise The Pepsi Syndrome sketch.

4. "I am, uh... told that what these, uh, blue collar types lack in, um, imagination, they, um, make up in um, pure animal lust."

5. "I didn't get a harrumph out of that guy."

Threadwinner Best of Matt the K
"And you see, with this um, spending program, I got college students a job, I got factory workers a job, hell, I even got M.C. Hammer over here a job."

Best of HLam
"Now Joe here, Joe's in charge of the passing out thewhite hats, because NO ONE messes with Joe."

Best of mpur
Bob the Builder sends some "associates" to discuss the use of the "Yes We Can" catch phrase.

Best of molson
Of course I'm going to do sex to them. What do you think the hard hats are for?

Best of Mr. Hankey
Obama decides to show the US that he will solve the economic crisis by crushing coal within his bare fists to make diamonds.

Best of curly
"...and my teleprompter repair crew is headed by an African-American."

Best of Jack Reacher
"This one, M'Chell? Seriously? He's not even a lawyer and, uh, smart, uh, like me."

Best of Jay Guevara
"How come he can't figure out the words? It's 'Y...M...C...A.' Is that so difficult? Hell, get him a teleprompter."

Best of GregMan
"Get that black guy to stop standing behind me. He reminds me too much of Frank Marshall Davis and I'm getting flashbacks of getting sodomized."

Best of GregMan
"Yeah, those dumb bible-clinging working-class rubes aren't nearly as smart as we liberals are... oh hell, there's one standing right behind me, isn't there?"

Best of dub
And with my Peace Prize money, yes, I bought me a colored guy. You guys were right...this is awesome.

33 comments:

HLam said...

"That's the guy that knocked my teleprompter over. Have him thrown out."

HLam said...

"Now Joe here, Joe's in charge of the passing out thewhite hats, because NO ONE messes with Joe."

blue said...

White Hats!!! Here I am the first black president and you send me people in White Hats!!

mpur said...

Bob the Builder sends some "associates" to discuss the use of the "Yes We Can" catch phrase.

curly said...

“…and, um, as part of my Stimulus Package, er, Joe The Plumber, ah, has been, uh, replaced by these three government employees.”

molson said...

Of course I'm going to do sex to them. What do you think the hard hats are for?

curly said...

“Where’d you, um, find the brother that looks just like Michelle?”

curly said...

"...and these SEIU union workers, er, have all seen my birth certificate and can, um, attest to the fact that I was, er, indeed born in the US and not Kenya."

curly said...

“Between all the references to ACORN and teabaggers, some of you may assume that I’m nuts.”

Mr. Hankey said...

Obama decides to show the US that he will solve the economic crisis by crushing coal within his bare fists to make diamonds.

Mr. Hankey said...

As the question from the Fox News reporter lingers on - Obama can't help but slowly pull back his arm in a fist.

Anonymous said...

I'm telling you all right now, this is going to stop. Other than me this is the only black man in this building. That's going to change.

curly said...

"...and my teleprompter repair crew is headed by an African-American."

curly said...

"...and unlike the 480 volt panels behind me, I'm AC/DC."

Submariner said...

Even after being taught by the best three man consulting crew that Pelosi could find, The One still fails miserably at doing the hand jive.

Submariner said...

Guy on the left? Obviously afraid of the Power of the Schwartzer.

Submariner said...

"Muh'Chel needs new shoes..."



ATDHE-A

Jack Reacher said...

"It's okay, we can talk in front of them. They won't understand; they didn't go to Harvard like us."

Jack Reacher said...

"My speechifying has, so far, saved or created seven hundred presidential podiums, and counting."

Jack Reacher said...

"This one, M'Chell? Seriously? He's not even a lawyer and, uh, smart, uh, like me."

Jay Guevara said...

"How come he can't figure out the words? It's 'Y...M...C...A.' Is that so difficult? Hell, get him a teleprompter."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Honest, the new "Soak the Public" credit card act cough cough "protects" borrowers like these. Banks must now issue a hard hat, a cup and a buttplug along with 16 fine print pages detailing the abuse they'll heap on everyone. See how happy the fellows are? Uh, guys, why aren't you smiling? pssst... Do you plan to vote for any Congressional incumbents? Is that a no?

Rodney Dill said...

"...and finally it was Damocles' sword, not anvil...what?"

Rodney Dill said...

Don't Dukakis me bro

GregMan said...

"See, um, guys like these, duhhh, with their skulls on the outside of their, um, heads, can only be, uhhh, helped by my health care plan."

GregMan said...

"Get that black guy to stop standing behind me. He reminds me too much of Frank Marshall Davis and I'm getting flashbacks of getting sodomized."

GregMan said...

"Yeah, those dumb bible-clinging working-class rubes aren't nearly as smart as we liberals are... oh hell, there's one standing right behind me, isn't there?"

dub said...

And with my Peace Prize money, yes, I bought me a colored guy. You guys were right...this is awesome.

Submariner said...

Get rid of that guy - he's too dark AND he knows how to speak Negro dialect...

blue said...

..and to solve 2 problems at once, I promoted these unemployed carpenters workers to brain surgeons...and they get to reuse their saws!!!!!!

Mr. Hankey said...

Subliminally, Obama heard the plant muzak system playing "Hitchin' A Ride"

Matt the K said...

"And you see, with this um, spending program, I got college students a job, I got factory workers a job, hell, I even got M.C. Hammer over here a job."

Submariner said...

Stand back whilst HE "whip dis out..."