1. In a further effort to revive the decadent seventies vibe at the White House, PBO begins auditions for the New Village People.
2. PBO explains how sinking $3,000,000 in stimulus funds into a Village People Museum will create or save 60 jobs.
3. PBO was happy to host SNL, but disappointed when asked to reprise The Pepsi Syndrome sketch.
4. "I am, uh... told that what these, uh, blue collar types lack in, um, imagination, they, um, make up in um, pure animal lust."
5. "I didn't get a harrumph out of that guy."
Threadwinner Best of Matt the K
"And you see, with this um, spending program, I got college students a job, I got factory workers a job, hell, I even got M.C. Hammer over here a job."
Best of HLam
"Now Joe here, Joe's in charge of the passing out thewhite hats, because NO ONE messes with Joe."
Best of mpur
Bob the Builder sends some "associates" to discuss the use of the "Yes We Can" catch phrase.
Best of molson
Of course I'm going to do sex to them. What do you think the hard hats are for?
Best of Mr. Hankey
Obama decides to show the US that he will solve the economic crisis by crushing coal within his bare fists to make diamonds.
Best of curly
"...and my teleprompter repair crew is headed by an African-American."
Best of Jack Reacher
"This one, M'Chell? Seriously? He's not even a lawyer and, uh, smart, uh, like me."
Best of Jay Guevara
"How come he can't figure out the words? It's 'Y...M...C...A.' Is that so difficult? Hell, get him a teleprompter."
Best of GregMan
"Get that black guy to stop standing behind me. He reminds me too much of Frank Marshall Davis and I'm getting flashbacks of getting sodomized."
Best of GregMan
"Yeah, those dumb bible-clinging working-class rubes aren't nearly as smart as we liberals are... oh hell, there's one standing right behind me, isn't there?"
Best of dub
And with my Peace Prize money, yes, I bought me a colored guy. You guys were right...this is awesome.
33 comments:
"That's the guy that knocked my teleprompter over. Have him thrown out."
"Now Joe here, Joe's in charge of the passing out thewhite hats, because NO ONE messes with Joe."
White Hats!!! Here I am the first black president and you send me people in White Hats!!
Bob the Builder sends some "associates" to discuss the use of the "Yes We Can" catch phrase.
“…and, um, as part of my Stimulus Package, er, Joe The Plumber, ah, has been, uh, replaced by these three government employees.”
Of course I'm going to do sex to them. What do you think the hard hats are for?
“Where’d you, um, find the brother that looks just like Michelle?”
"...and these SEIU union workers, er, have all seen my birth certificate and can, um, attest to the fact that I was, er, indeed born in the US and not Kenya."
“Between all the references to ACORN and teabaggers, some of you may assume that I’m nuts.”
Obama decides to show the US that he will solve the economic crisis by crushing coal within his bare fists to make diamonds.
As the question from the Fox News reporter lingers on - Obama can't help but slowly pull back his arm in a fist.
I'm telling you all right now, this is going to stop. Other than me this is the only black man in this building. That's going to change.
"...and my teleprompter repair crew is headed by an African-American."
"...and unlike the 480 volt panels behind me, I'm AC/DC."
Even after being taught by the best three man consulting crew that Pelosi could find, The One still fails miserably at doing the hand jive.
Guy on the left? Obviously afraid of the Power of the Schwartzer.
"Muh'Chel needs new shoes..."
ATDHE-A
"It's okay, we can talk in front of them. They won't understand; they didn't go to Harvard like us."
"My speechifying has, so far, saved or created seven hundred presidential podiums, and counting."
"This one, M'Chell? Seriously? He's not even a lawyer and, uh, smart, uh, like me."
"How come he can't figure out the words? It's 'Y...M...C...A.' Is that so difficult? Hell, get him a teleprompter."
Honest, the new "Soak the Public" credit card act cough cough "protects" borrowers like these. Banks must now issue a hard hat, a cup and a buttplug along with 16 fine print pages detailing the abuse they'll heap on everyone. See how happy the fellows are? Uh, guys, why aren't you smiling? pssst... Do you plan to vote for any Congressional incumbents? Is that a no?
"...and finally it was Damocles' sword, not anvil...what?"
Don't Dukakis me bro
"See, um, guys like these, duhhh, with their skulls on the outside of their, um, heads, can only be, uhhh, helped by my health care plan."
"Get that black guy to stop standing behind me. He reminds me too much of Frank Marshall Davis and I'm getting flashbacks of getting sodomized."
"Yeah, those dumb bible-clinging working-class rubes aren't nearly as smart as we liberals are... oh hell, there's one standing right behind me, isn't there?"
And with my Peace Prize money, yes, I bought me a colored guy. You guys were right...this is awesome.
Get rid of that guy - he's too dark AND he knows how to speak Negro dialect...
..and to solve 2 problems at once, I promoted these unemployed carpenters workers to brain surgeons...and they get to reuse their saws!!!!!!
Subliminally, Obama heard the plant muzak system playing "Hitchin' A Ride"
"And you see, with this um, spending program, I got college students a job, I got factory workers a job, hell, I even got M.C. Hammer over here a job."
Stand back whilst HE "whip dis out..."
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