Friday, February 26, 2010

Git Along, Y'Little Varmint!

Brender


1. "Have it shaved and brought to the hot tub at once!" Richard Gere ordered.

2. Sullivan's Valentine's Day present from Richard Gere was a little late, but much appreciated.

3. On February 15th, these things were marked down 50% at the Folsom Street Love Accessories store.

4. Only after the Revived Bubonic Plague had killed 200,000,000 people was Patient Zero identified.


5. The winner and runner-up in the Don Imus lookalike contest were a dessicated old lady and a rodent in a cowboy outfit.

Best of dadoctah
"So I asked the boys in the lab if they could do a little genetic engineering, and come Christmas we're going to kick Zhu Zhu Pets' asses!"

Best of Rodney Dill
"...but what if I don't want to move to the fireswamp to live with your family?"

Best of sonicfrog
Ellen DeGeneres really suffers without make-up.... The Wife? Even worse!

Best of Festivus
Ellen, moments before an embarrassing ride and timely revelation that she needs glasses.

Best of Submariner
In Mother Russia, Sybian rides you...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Damn right, capybara pee is potent. It eats right through this glazed ceramic tile floor in a matter of seconds.

Best of racerboy
Save a rodent, ride a cowgirl??

Best of Matt the K
"Thanks!-- I just had it stuffed."



25 comments:

dadoctah said...

"So I asked the boys in the lab if they could do a little genetic engineering, and come Christmas we're going to kick Zhu Zhu Pets' asses!"

dadoctah said...

ObSoCalReference: "Here's Cal Worthington and his dog Spot!"

wv: oxygis. Removes blackheads *and* boosts your IQ!

dadoctah said...

"...and if he sees his shadow, we'll have six thousand years of global warming!"

dadoctah said...

Under no circumstances was Doris about to allow herself to become the neighborhood's Crazy Cat Lady.

Rodney Dill said...

"...but what if I don't want to move to the fireswamp to live with your family?"

dadoctah said...

Joan Baez misunderstood when her friends talked her into getting a Brazilian.

Anonymous said...

Sigfried and Roy decided to revive the Vegas act sans tigers.

Vinney

sonicfrog said...

Ellen DeGeneres really suffers without make-up.... The Wife? Even worse!

Double the U said...

So you actually ride those things in these parts?

Festivus said...

Ellen, moments before an embarrassing ride and timely revelation that she needs glasses.

Dactyl said...

ORA: Spoooooooon!!!

Submariner said...

In Mother Russia, Sybian rides you...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Perils of Homœopathy I
It started out innocently enough as a small hairy mole on my husband's back. Yoda, our CVS herbalist under the final version of Universal Healthcare, gave him some small tablets and green tea and said, "Takie once a day, cured you be soon."

Perils of Homœopathy II
After what that herbalist did to my husband, I'm not so sure I still want the Quickie Nostril drive-thru plastic surgery to stop my nose from growing.

-OR-

Damn right, capybara pee is potent. It eats right through this glazed ceramic tile floor in a matter of seconds. On the plus side, after collecting the fur it sheds each month, we've been able to start a very profitable sweater business.

-OR-

We adopted Jose from a Haiti mail order orphanage, but I'm beginning to suspect it was another Nigerian scam.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This is waaay better than a cold reptilian pet! You don't get attached to these, either, plus when they die in 3 years, the carcass feeds 4 for a whole month.

WordVerify: octun - apparently, V's Hitler movies are working part-time in the word challenge dept.

racerboy said...

Honey, you need to shave that nasty thing!

Oh, and take the saddle off your poor capybara, it looks redicculus.

racerboy said...

Save a rodent, ride a cowgirl??

Matt the K said...

"Thanks!-- I just had it stuffed."

molson said...

The Nuge remarked... "I don't care what the f@ck it is. Barbeque sauce and fire will make it good.

sonicfrog said...

Oh Dactyl... good one. I can't believe I didn't think of that.

Submariner said...

Did you actually think the Muse for "Muskrat Love" was whymsical and not real?

Submariner said...

This one time at Vet Camp?

Blue said...

Ellen & Rosie finally hook up

curly said...

Life just wasn’t fair. While the President had the Obama Girl, all Barney had was Mrs. Richardson.

Matt the K said...

Ellen enthusiastically supported the Humane Society's program to rescue retired Jawa steeds.

Matt the K said...

Beware the malted milk balls at Grandma Jane's house.