Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Flip



1. "Oh, nothing... say, did you catch American Idol last night?"

2. "Hi, Microsoft Tech Support, I'm having a problem with my Sync system ... Sure, I'll hold."

3. "Hi, Hannity... first time caller, long time listener... love your show!"

4. "K-Rock 95.5 plays the hits! Am I the 14th caller?"

5. "Hi, this is Congressman Kennedy's... um, Aide... we're gonna be a little late for the health care vote."

The best mega could come up with
"I don't know, honey, I saw Avatar, and realized life on Earth just wasn't worth living and stuff."

The best GregMan could come up with
"What?!? Scott Brown won???"

The best Unscrupulous could come up with
7O7

The best dub could come up with
Yes, 911? I was just driving down the road in North Portland when I was t-boned by some guy driving a truck...apparently he was distracted by the handjob he was getting from some underage boy. All I heard was "Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, are you ok?!?".

The best sonicfrog could come up with
Nicole Richie is driving again????

The best Carpe Phlogiston could come up with
You have reached the Toyota Sudden Acceleration & Squishy Brakes Recall Hotline. Please press:
*1 if you want to schedule a repair;
*2 if you're curently experiencing minor problems and need step-by-step instructions for stopping your vehicle before it slams into the rapidly approaching brick wall;
*3 if you've been involved in an accident and are planning to sue our asses for millions.

kudos to Capt. Queeg for beating me to fliptext!

The best Passionate Conservative could come up with
"Obviously, my GPS is not working very well..."

The best dadoctah could come up with
A Spinal Tap/Stonehenge error by the neighborhood planning committee went unnoticed until drivers encountered the "4'-high speed bump".

The best metalgarth could come up with
Sorry hon. I wrecked the car. It always looked so easy on TV when "them Duke boys" did it

The best mega could come up with
"No, hun, don't call 9/11. James Arthur Ray instructed me to do this, and to remain in position for three days contemplating the nature of the universe."

The best Matt the K could come up with
"Hello, Mr. Fayed, Camilla here. You were right, Charlie IS a dirty brake-fixin' sumbitch!"

29 comments:

Double the U said...

You can't keep a good man down, and you can't keep a woman off the phone. (ATDHE)

Anonymous said...

For Karen "everything went tits up" in more ways than one.

Vinney

blue said...

upside down, officer???
No, no I'm in Orstralya!!

mega said...

"I don't know, honey, I saw Avatar, and realized life on Earth just wasn't worth living and stuff."

Submariner said...

Tell Old Navy to hold up on that opening; Dawn's coming.




need I state the obvious?

Capt. Queeg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Capt. Queeg said...

"˙˙˙ɐɹɐɔsɐɯ ʎɯ pǝddoɹp ı ˙ɔǝs ɐ uo ploɥ"

Rodney Dill said...

Hello... Onstar?

GregMan said...

"I dunno, Mom, it suddenly hit me that Obama really is an incompetent America-hating commie, then suddenly my whole world was turned upside down."

GregMan said...

"I'll take 'Metaphors for Bailing Out GM' for $400, Alex."

GregMan said...

"What?!? Scott Brown won???"

Unscrupulous said...

7O7

dub said...

Dawn tries to emulate the drivers in England by driving opposite of us. Dumb bitch.

dub said...

Yes, 911? I was just driving down the road in North Portland when I was t-boned by some guy driving a truck...apparently he was distracted by the handjob he was getting from some underage boy. All I heard was "Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, are you ok?!?".

dadoctah said...

Today's financial term defined--"negative amortization": when the payments on your car don't cover enough to lower the principal owed, with the result that you can find yourself upside down.

sonicfrog said...

Nicole Richie is driving again????

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You have reached the Toyota Sudden Acceleration & Squishy Brakes Recall Hotline. Please press:
*1 if you want to schedule a repair;
*2 if you're curently experiencing minor problems and need step-by-step instructions for stopping your vehicle before it slams into the rapidly approaching brick wall;
*3 if you've been involved in an accident and are planning to sue our asses for millions.

kudos to Capt. Queeg for beating me to fliptext!

mega said...

"Yes....Hertz? Uhm, I was wondering, could I trade out of the Camry to maybe an Accord?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Nothing, just hanging around. You?"

Passionate Conservative said...

"Obviously, my GPS is not working very well..."

Passionate Conservative said...

Notice...Blonde...just makin' an observation here...

jj said...

There's got to be a Ted Kennedy joke here somewhere.

dadoctah said...

A Spinal Tap/Stonehenge error by the neighborhood planning committee went unnoticed until drivers encountered the "4'-high speed bump".

mega said...

Maybe it's time for Greta to take a few nights off.

metalgarth said...

Sorry hon. I wrecked the car. It always looked so easy on TV when "them Duke boys" did it

mega said...

"No, hun, don't call 9/11. James Arthur Ray instructed me to do this, and to remain in position for three days contemplating the nature of the universe."

Matt the K said...

"Hello, Mr. Fayed, Camilla here. You were right, Charlie IS a dirty brake-fixin' sumbitch!"

Matt the K said...

Man, they just keep making these "last one left in the new car keeps it" promotions tougher and tougher.

Matt the K said...

Martina Navratilova thought she had signed up to be upside down in a *vulva*.