Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Definitely Not Dub



1. "Well, it started as a growth on my shoulder."

2. Sanjay never understood his nickname "Remora."

3. Rajiv's Global Warming Activism was intimately connected to his fetish for huge white predators... and polar bears.

4. An unlikely pairs team won the hearts of skating fans at the Vancouver Olympics, until the ice broke.

5. Bill Clinton was devastated when he discovered his mistress cheating on him with his midget.

Best of mega
NodricTrack's new lineup for 2010 reflected the simple reality that human labor is cheaper than building an exercise machine out of expensive raw materials.

Best of Army of Dad
ORA: I fight gangs for local charities and stuff.

Best of Double the U
The Mustang Ranch gets its second male prostitute.

Best of dub
I'm surprised that Sheila only has one small person orbiting her.

Best of naas
Master & Blaster from Thunderdome reunite

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Bertha's Thawtbubble - "Huh, well that's the last time I swallow a bag of tootsie rolls, sit in a recliner and fart."

Best of Double the U
She recalled hearing a squeak when she sat in the chair.

Best of Blue
Sanjay said -- well, you know, I love this women because cows are sacred in India.....

55 comments:

Double the U said...

And people wondered if they would ever stick together.

mega said...

NodricTrack's new lineup for 2010 reflected the simple reality that human labor is cheaper than building an exercise machine out of expensive raw materials.

mega said...

Holiday Inn's new human bed-warmer policy led to the inevitable human back-warmer policy in a matter of weeks.

Army of Dad said...

ORA: I fight gangs for local charities and stuff.

Army of Dad said...

ORA: I Like them round and big, I just can't help myself , I'm acting like and animal.

Army of Dad said...

In India people will ear masks on the bakc of their heads to ward off tigers. In Europe, Indians will ride on large cougars.

kg said...

I heard that Rosie is dating again.

Double the U said...

The Mustang Ranch gets its second male prostitute.

Anonymous said...

She was such a wild lay, Slim wanted rodeo clowns in case he was thrown.

Vinney

GregMan said...

Man, they're outsourcing everything to India these days.

GregMan said...

This reminds me of that gag pic of a chihuahua stuck in a fat lady's buttcrack. Only much, much more disturbing.

dub said...

Worst.Backpack.Ever.

dub said...

I'm surprised that Sheila only has one small person orbiting her.

dub said...

The latest hit from Bollywood, "Slumpig Millionpounds".

Jay Guevara said...

Suddenly it became clear why "Barry" was coy about his time in New York.

Adriane said...

Somebody took those "I'm rubber, you're glue" taunts just a little too seriously ...

Dactyl said...

Does this midget make me look fat?

divine miss m said...

For shame, making fun of this poor guy while his dignity is being assaulted like a drag queen at a tractor pull?!

Double the U said...

So,,, Did you pick up anything interesting on your trip to India?

naas said...

Master & Blaster from Thunderdome reunite

Rodney Dill said...

You should beep when you back that thang up.

Steve O said...

"So, does your boyfriend do ana1?"

"I'm never sure."

dadoctah said...

I just want to see her try to get through airport security with *that* carry-on.

dadoctah said...

"I'm here to see the doctor about having a small foreign object removed."

Steve O said...

For some reason this reminds me of an old Far Side cartoon about a missing dog.

Steve O said...

I think it needs a "rewipe."

Steve O said...

My guess is that included in his buddy's girlfriend's promises about the blind date were the words, "she has a great personality."

And I'll bet that isn't true either.

Steve O said...

Beep... beep... beep... beep... beep... beep... oh crap.

Not again.

Steve O said...

A friend can always be counted on to help you see your feet.

Steve O said...

TAP OUT!! TAP OUT JOHNNY!!!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAP OUT!!!!

sonicfrog said...

OK, I haven't watched it for a while.... now I know why the ratings for "Hero's" had recently taken a nosedive.

Ver Word: Sliti

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bertha's Thawtbubble - "Huh, well that's the last time I swallow a bag of tootsie rolls, sit in a recliner and fart."

-OR-

This could be why insurance companies won't pay for lap band surgery done at Doctor Gonzales' drive-thru clinic in Tijuana.

-OR-

The Heimlich Maneuver... UR doing it right... but it's too little too late.

Passionate Conservative said...

"Honey? Are you showering in cold water again? Cos, I can't feel a thing..."

Passionate Conservative said...

His last words were "Ohmygod, get your ass off of my d*ck!"

dadoctah said...

I suppose it's too soon for another gratuitous "Aiieee! Gojira!!!" caption?

wv: trets. The new mint that makes your breath smell like formica.

Rodney Dill said...

Wednesday Woofer

Unscrupulous said...

Big Lana finally perfected the "reverse fart" to amusing effect.

dub said...

We tried to tell Mario to get the hell out of there, but his ears popped when he mounted her and he couldnt hear a thing.

Poor guy...never even had time to strap a board to his ass.

dub said...

You see, this is a metaphor. On the left, Mario represents the average American citizen. Helga, on the right, represents the current deficit that is being accumulated.

Any questions?

Matt the K said...

Richard 'JohnBoy' Thomas and Rosie O'Donnell star in "Exit to Eden II: Climbing Walton's Mountain".

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Double-entendres Alert!!

"He piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it." ~ Moby Dick, Herman Melville

-OR-

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
~ Moby Dick, Herman Melville

see, CaptionThis might indeed be too high brow for an NEA grant

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Pity her, she's got a monkey on her back.

-OR-

In the transgendered retelling of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, this is Zaphod Beeblebrox.

-OR-

WIDE LOAD - UR following way too close

never go swimmin with fat bowlegged wimmin and swim between their legs.

metalgarth said...

WORST. TLC. SHOW. EVER

Shawn said...

When chubby chasers finally catch their prey.

dub said...

I put them on, but the beer goggles, they do nothing.

Submariner said...

dub said...
You see, this is a metaphor...
Any questions?


For the metaphor to work correctly, shouldn't Helga be on Mario's back?

Double the U said...

She recalled hearing a squeak when she sat in the chair.

mega said...

Tea Party Convention shenanigans in the hotel rooms, as envisioned by DailyKos

Blue said...

Sanjay said -- well, you know, I love this women because cows are sacred in India.....

metalgarth said...

"Little People, Big Hookers" brought to you by Cinemax and the Learning Channel

metalgarth said...

In reality, "Death by Snu Snu" is pretty overrated

Matt the K said...

Two-Ton Ton-Ton.

Mr. Hankey said...

How the Hokey Pokey started.

Mr. Hankey said...

Some parasites are hard to shake off.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Cottage Cheese on the Hoof

-OR-

Lost episode of The X-Files: "I'm Rubber, You're Glue"

-OR-

Lost episode of Two and a Half Men: "Bad Backs & Thunder Thighs" Alan can't say no when Delores waddles into his chiropractic office and says she doesn't have insurance.