1. "Well, it started as a growth on my shoulder."
2. Sanjay never understood his nickname "Remora."
3. Rajiv's Global Warming Activism was intimately connected to his fetish for huge white predators... and polar bears.
4. An unlikely pairs team won the hearts of skating fans at the Vancouver Olympics, until the ice broke.
5. Bill Clinton was devastated when he discovered his mistress cheating on him with his midget.
Best of mega
NodricTrack's new lineup for 2010 reflected the simple reality that human labor is cheaper than building an exercise machine out of expensive raw materials.
Best of Army of Dad
ORA: I fight gangs for local charities and stuff.
Best of Double the U
The Mustang Ranch gets its second male prostitute.
Best of dub
I'm surprised that Sheila only has one small person orbiting her.
Best of naas
Master & Blaster from Thunderdome reunite
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Bertha's Thawtbubble - "Huh, well that's the last time I swallow a bag of tootsie rolls, sit in a recliner and fart."
Best of Double the U
She recalled hearing a squeak when she sat in the chair.
Best of Blue
Sanjay said -- well, you know, I love this women because cows are sacred in India.....
55 comments:
And people wondered if they would ever stick together.
NodricTrack's new lineup for 2010 reflected the simple reality that human labor is cheaper than building an exercise machine out of expensive raw materials.
Holiday Inn's new human bed-warmer policy led to the inevitable human back-warmer policy in a matter of weeks.
ORA: I fight gangs for local charities and stuff.
ORA: I Like them round and big, I just can't help myself , I'm acting like and animal.
In India people will ear masks on the bakc of their heads to ward off tigers. In Europe, Indians will ride on large cougars.
I heard that Rosie is dating again.
The Mustang Ranch gets its second male prostitute.
She was such a wild lay, Slim wanted rodeo clowns in case he was thrown.
Vinney
Man, they're outsourcing everything to India these days.
This reminds me of that gag pic of a chihuahua stuck in a fat lady's buttcrack. Only much, much more disturbing.
Worst.Backpack.Ever.
I'm surprised that Sheila only has one small person orbiting her.
The latest hit from Bollywood, "Slumpig Millionpounds".
Suddenly it became clear why "Barry" was coy about his time in New York.
Somebody took those "I'm rubber, you're glue" taunts just a little too seriously ...
Does this midget make me look fat?
For shame, making fun of this poor guy while his dignity is being assaulted like a drag queen at a tractor pull?!
So,,, Did you pick up anything interesting on your trip to India?
Master & Blaster from Thunderdome reunite
You should beep when you back that thang up.
"So, does your boyfriend do ana1?"
"I'm never sure."
I just want to see her try to get through airport security with *that* carry-on.
"I'm here to see the doctor about having a small foreign object removed."
For some reason this reminds me of an old Far Side cartoon about a missing dog.
I think it needs a "rewipe."
My guess is that included in his buddy's girlfriend's promises about the blind date were the words, "she has a great personality."
And I'll bet that isn't true either.
Beep... beep... beep... beep... beep... beep... oh crap.
Not again.
A friend can always be counted on to help you see your feet.
TAP OUT!! TAP OUT JOHNNY!!!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAP OUT!!!!
OK, I haven't watched it for a while.... now I know why the ratings for "Hero's" had recently taken a nosedive.
Ver Word: Sliti
Bertha's Thawtbubble - "Huh, well that's the last time I swallow a bag of tootsie rolls, sit in a recliner and fart."
-OR-
This could be why insurance companies won't pay for lap band surgery done at Doctor Gonzales' drive-thru clinic in Tijuana.
-OR-
The Heimlich Maneuver... UR doing it right... but it's too little too late.
"Honey? Are you showering in cold water again? Cos, I can't feel a thing..."
His last words were "Ohmygod, get your ass off of my d*ck!"
I suppose it's too soon for another gratuitous "Aiieee! Gojira!!!" caption?
wv: trets. The new mint that makes your breath smell like formica.
Wednesday Woofer
Big Lana finally perfected the "reverse fart" to amusing effect.
We tried to tell Mario to get the hell out of there, but his ears popped when he mounted her and he couldnt hear a thing.
Poor guy...never even had time to strap a board to his ass.
You see, this is a metaphor. On the left, Mario represents the average American citizen. Helga, on the right, represents the current deficit that is being accumulated.
Any questions?
Richard 'JohnBoy' Thomas and Rosie O'Donnell star in "Exit to Eden II: Climbing Walton's Mountain".
Double-entendres Alert!!
"He piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it." ~ Moby Dick, Herman Melville
-OR-
"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
~ Moby Dick, Herman Melville
see, CaptionThis might indeed be too high brow for an NEA grant
Pity her, she's got a monkey on her back.
-OR-
In the transgendered retelling of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, this is Zaphod Beeblebrox.
-OR-
WIDE LOAD - UR following way too close
never go swimmin with fat bowlegged wimmin and swim between their legs.
WORST. TLC. SHOW. EVER
When chubby chasers finally catch their prey.
I put them on, but the beer goggles, they do nothing.
dub said...
You see, this is a metaphor...
Any questions?
For the metaphor to work correctly, shouldn't Helga be on Mario's back?
She recalled hearing a squeak when she sat in the chair.
Tea Party Convention shenanigans in the hotel rooms, as envisioned by DailyKos
Sanjay said -- well, you know, I love this women because cows are sacred in India.....
"Little People, Big Hookers" brought to you by Cinemax and the Learning Channel
In reality, "Death by Snu Snu" is pretty overrated
Two-Ton Ton-Ton.
How the Hokey Pokey started.
Some parasites are hard to shake off.
Cottage Cheese on the Hoof
-OR-
Lost episode of The X-Files: "I'm Rubber, You're Glue"
-OR-
Lost episode of Two and a Half Men: "Bad Backs & Thunder Thighs" Alan can't say no when Delores waddles into his chiropractic office and says she doesn't have insurance.
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